(R)EVOLUTION WRESTLING TAG TEAM TITLE HARDCORE MATCH
DAMAGE INC. vs. RUSH HOUR ((R)Evolution Wrestling Tag Team Champions) vs. THE GALACTIC PRETTY BOYS
“Vilify” by Device hits the P.A. system as Damage INC. makes their way from behind the curtains. The stare out into the crowd, with menacing looks on their faces before they survey the landscape - noticing all the ladders, tables, and assorted weapons at their disposal. With sinister smiles on their faces, the dastardly duo begin their trek to the ring.
David Zinkus: Introducing the challengers! From Yokohama, Japan, at a combined weight of four hundred and ten pounds. The team of Yoshiko Watanabe and Shizuka Yoshida... Damage INC.
The duo quickly enters the ring, climbing to their feet and backing up into the corner to talk strategy as they wait for their opponents.
Darrin Stearns: These two could be the favorites. They like to brawl, they like to get down and dirty. No rules is their sort of environment.
Minoru Asano: The bar is my environment. HIYO!
The lights in the entire arena slowly fade away, streams of different colored lights beginning to swirl across the entire arena before the spotlight shines on the center stage and the ramp, as the thirty-five second mark of “Orpheus” by Noriasu Agematsu hits the PA system in full blast, revealing two men with their backs to the cameras, dancing and singing accordingly to the beginning of the music before they turn around, revealing themselves to be the Galactic Pretty Boys – cue screaming fangirls as the two begin to sing.
Sing your song hanaretete mo wakaru yo
Hear my wind tsunagatteiru sora wa hitotsu…
kagirinai Brand-new sky bokura wa hitori ja nai kara
haruka na kimi no RABU SONGU habataite
shinjiyou Shiny days futari no zettaiteki na "Ai no Heart chain"…David Zinkus: Introducing next! At a combined weight of three hundred and sixty-seven pounds, they are Takuto Shindo and Sugata Hotaruo… THE GALACTIC PRETTY BOYS!
At this point, the two of them are near the apron and with a nod, they begin to sing the chorus to their heart’s content as they take on a run, leaping from the floor onto the second rope in an impressive display of athleticism to the crowd watching…
We'll have an innocent dream. Feel me, touch me.
kono kodou ga mirai dakara sou, yoake wo matsu sekai e...
hibike Orpheus heart!!!They springboard from the second rope to the inside of the ring, before taking center stage as the spotlight shines on them, finishing off their dance with a pose where Sugata has his right hand raised in the air triumphantly while Takuto is split-legged in front of him, posing with a sheepish smile on his face as the girls scream along with a few bits of heckling. The two break their pose and make their way to the nearest corner, discussing strategy and all else as they prepare themselves for tag team action.
Darrin Stearns: This match really booked itself Minoru, almost entirely due to the back and fourth trash talk between The Galactic Pretty Boys and Black Jones of Rush Hour. These guys want the belts, as does Damage Inc. Tonight, we’re going to see which team wants it more.
Minoru Asano: And then we will drink with
that team until we puke.
The gym's sound system starts up with the legendary theme of "Kaze-wa Mirai-nu Fuku." You see Togo coming out with his red sleeveless robe and his half of the (R)evolution Tag Titles. He stands at the entrance and looks towards the audience, soaking it all in.
aoi sora no shita de
kaze wa mirai ni fuku
taiyou no hizashi wo
dakishimeru you niHe stands on the ramp with a smile on his face as the gymnasium lights somewhat dim, causing the crowd to get restless in anticipation. Finally, "Braveheart" by Lupe Fiasco hits the speakers, starting as a slow electronic noise until the drums and bass kick in. The audience turns their attention to the entryway where the curtains dividing the ringside and the backstage area are suddenly thrown back as the superstar behind the music emerges.
May the Lord have mercy on my soul
Forgive me for my fetishes, my purchases, my clothes
Allow me to catch my rhythm so the nervousness just goes
That's why I sound so certain in my verses and my flows
The verbiage just gets merciless, the wordsmithness just rolls.Black Jones scans over the audience while he stands draped in a hoodie vest with "Half Man- Half Amazing" written on the back before taking a deep breath; his eyes continue to survey the crowd until he suddenly begins to bounce around in place, making dodging movements as if he were fighting an imaginary opponent, a smile lining across his face while Togo follows suit.
David Zinkus: And their opponents! At a combined weight of four hundred and twenty-three pounds! They are your (R)evolution Tag Team Champions… the team of Duke Togo and Black Jones…. RUSH! HOUR!
I've tuned into my pertinence, my purposes, my goals
The feeling when you realize you've been working for your foes
And the curtains have just opened and they worthlessness exposed
You remember where you've came from, where the purses was stole
There was nothing in the oven and just work up on the stove
And you blossomed from the bottom, yeah, you worked with it and rose
From nothing to a dozen and a garden now there grows. Tell em!The champion slowly making their way to the ring, slapping hands with fans on either side of them. They quickly slide into the ring, removing their outerwear before handing Brian Lowery their championships. He holds them up, showing them to all participants in the match, and then to the crowd before handing them to the timekeeper and signaling for the bell.
Darrin Stearns: Rush Hour has reigned supreme over the (R)evolution Tag Scene for quite some time now, Minoru. They’ve got a tall order ahead of them. The question is, will they overcome challenge?
Minoru Asano: I don’t know. That’s a tough question, Darrin. Let me think it over with a drink.
DING! DING! DING!As soon as the bell chimes, all six competitors get right to work. Duke and Sugata take on either one of Damage INC, while Black Jones and Takuto Shindo engage in a fist fight that immediately spills outside the squared circle. Black scores with a toe kick, then smashes Tak’s face against the side of an erect ladder, mouthing off rapid fire obscenities as his opponent stumbles from the point of impact. The enigmatic Jones turns his back for a split-second to face the ladder, thinking he had rung the Pretty Boy’s bells until a roar of anger protrudes through the atmosphere. With his attention grabbed, Jones is clubbed from behind by Takuto, sending the Philadelphian stumbling; the ladder almost toppling over as a result. Black hastily turns around and staggers Tak with a stiff right hand, sending spit and possibly teeth flying through the arena. They engage in the fisticuffs again to the crowd’s delight until a Bionic Elbow from Jones puts Takuto tentatively on dream street.
Darrin Stearns: Black Jones and Takuto Shindo couldn’t wait to get a piece of each other, Minoru. If you’ve seen their spat on twitter, you know why.
Minoru Asano: It wasn’t a great day for race relations.
Meanwhile, in the ring, Sugata, Yoshiko, and Shizuka seem to be triple-teaming Duke Togo as the tag champion is pressed against the turnbuckle in an effort to limit the damage he is sustaining. The fearsome threesome of challengers bury Hagane under a barrage of fists and boots, Togo finally succumbing to their onslaught as he slumps down to the mat, only to be swept out of the ring by the broom like feet of his assailants. Yoshiko and Shizuka look at one another for a brief moment, and nod in sync before turning and striking Sugata simultaneously, sending fists to either side of his money maker. Black pushes a ladder under the bottom rope before sliding in to meet his foes. Once on his feet, he props the ladder against the nearest turnbuckle; he then turns his attention to the group of barbarians brawling a few feet away. Deciding to join the fray, Jones tosses himself into the fire by lunging into Yoshiko with Flying Forearm that sends her to the canvas. His momentum carries him to opposite side of the ring where he stares at Sugata - both men looking at the other and coming to grips with the fact that they may have to work together to stay afloat in the early goings. However, they aren’t given the chance to do so as both men are taken down by a Dropkick from Shizuka. Yoshiko joins her partner in the assault as she mounts Jones, laying into him with shot after shot to his visage.
Darrin Stearns: We were moments away from seeing our first alliance there Minoru, well until Shizuka went and ruined it.
Minoru Asano: I was already thinking of their team name: “Galactic Pretty Rush Hour Boys.”.... Galactic Rush Hour Pretty Boys”.... Pretty Galactic Rush Hour Boys”.... what do you think, Darrin?
Darrin Stearns: I think you’re already drunk.
Minoru Asano: You smart man. That’s why you make big money.
Shizuka and Sugata topple through the ropes and commence to brawl in front of the crowd, leaving only two wrestlers in the ring. Yoshiko continues to rearrange Jones’ face with hard blows, and due to his positioning, the champion can’t defend himself. Eventually, Yoshiko relents which in retrospect is a very bad mistake for a talent the caliber of Jones. Yoshiko climbs off of her victim, backing away to gaze out at the crowd. By this time Jones has recuperated, stumbling to his feet before charging at his his nemesis with his arm raised. He clubs his rival across the back of the head, sending her lurching forward where she flies over the ropes. Her arms flail as she tries to grab one of the cables - and she succeeds in skinning the cat. Seeing this, Black charges right at her, only to be captured into a headscissors and pulled out of the ring as a consequence. Yoshiko doesn’t have much time to rest though, as Takuto is back, fresh, and ready to wreck things. He meets her in the center of the ring, charging in with a Dropkick that sends her into the propped up ladder in the corner. He follows up with a Crossbody Block, compressing her between his frame and the ladder, the crowd gasping as Yoshiko crumbles to the canvas and rolls out of the ring in obvious pain.
Darrin Stearns: Where's Dr. Kuller? She needs a new spine.
Minoru Asano: Yoshiko’s a tough gal, but I doubt she’ll be moving around anytime soon.
A figure can be seen walking down the ramp, confusing the crowd. On closer inspection, it seems the man in question is none other than Tom Higashikata. He weaves through the erected ladders and assorted weapons across the ringside landscape, and he has caught the attention of the lone man in the ring. Takuto stands on the bottom rope, sneering out at Tom, the man who could very well be blamed for instigating the altercation between Rush Hour and GPB. Tom raises his free arm and shows an open palm, signaling that he has come in peace before grabbing a headset upon joining the commentary table, much to the confusion of Stearns and Asano.
Darrin Stearns: You aren’t here to cause any shenanigans, are you Tom?
Tom Higashikata: Checking out on my investments, Darrin. I’m managing the Tag Champs and the Future World Champion.
Minoru Asano: You’re like Asian Don King. Let’s all drink to your success.
Tom reclines in his seat, while Takuto begins to redecorate the furniture. The ladder that was set up in the corner is now standing, with the entertainer standing alongside it holding a much smaller ladder in width and length. Tak is cheered on by the crowd as they expect he has something spectacularly devious in mind. He strategically slots the smaller ladder in one of the higher one’s rungs so it is placed horizontally so it sits above the top ring cable like a miniature diving board. The singer observes his creation as he leans back on the ropes, until his feet are taking out from under him thanks to Duke Togo. The two now join the brawl ensuing with the remaining competitors, and bodies suddenly begin flying every which way at the apex of the ramp to the delight of the patrons. The delight soon turns to dismay as there is one man who manages to slip into the ring - Sugata. Never one to shy from the spotlight, the Galactic Pretty Boy quickly scrambles to his feet, and ascends the ladder. The audience begins to cheer in anticipation for what is coming next, as he steps over the ladder and carefully places one foot in front of the horizontal one. Upon reaching the end, he hover over the sea of wrestlers below him, taking a deep breath as cameras flash in anticipation. Finally, he jumps, cutting through the air with a Moonsault before crashing into the melee of men and women below, leaving all six competitors spilling across ringside - with Jones being sent into the one of the ladders on the ramp, sending it into the others to cause a domino effect that knocks the rest down.
Minoru Asano: HOLY! I just spilled my drink!
Darrin Stearns: That was visibly stunning, and definitely amazing. Sugata just took everyone out with one maneuver.
Tom Higashikata: That Moonsault was better than most of his songs, he sound like the Asian Beiber.
As the crowd goes insane, all six competitors lie in their heap for a moment before a few limbs come back to life, specifically those of Duke Togo. The most physically imposing wrestler in the match crawls out from under the pile and staggers to his feet, then rolls under the bottom rope to re-enter the ring. Hagane grabs the “diving board” ladder from Takuto’s crazy contraption, then tosses it to the canvas before making his way back out of the ring. By now Shizuka has recovered and is begun to pull herself up on the ring steps. Seeing Togo out of her peripheral vision, the Damage INC. member runs to the corner closest to the Strong Style Specialist, then begins climbing the turnbuckle. While the other four superstars begin to stir, Yoshiko waits for her obvlious target to turn around. Duke obliges, and looks up at the Cruiserweight, and his opponent immediately flies from her perch. Hagane catches her in mid-air on his shoulders, then pulls her into a Powerslam position and takes the opportunity by promptly pivoting his feet around in the direction of one of the wooden tables. Without a moment’s hesitation, Duke slams her through the weak piece of furniture; Yoshiko’s breath is expelled from her lungs in response as she lies motionless, staring at the ceiling in her wooden prison.
Tom Higashikata: DAMN! SHE DEAD!
Minoru Asano: I hope there’s an open bar at her funeral. I can’t get drunk off tears.
Darrin Stearns: That was the sort of power Papa Arino saw in Duke Togo on display right there. Few can match Hagane’s raw power.
While the crowd goes nuts over the last sequence, the other four competitors in the match have gotten back up to their respective. Sugato immediately tries to get back into the ring only for Jones to grab his tights and hold him in place. The Philadelphian delivers a series of stiff, clubbing blows to his rival’s spinal column, beginning to unload on him until he is interrupted by Takuto who knocks him silly with a haymaker to the face. Sugato slides into the ring, being pursued by Shizuka, while Takuto continues to unload on Jones with reckless abandon. This gets Hagane’s attention, prompting him to end Tak with a huge running Lariat. While the last two remaining challengers continue to duke it out in the ring, Rush Hour looks under said squared circle for some weapons - with Black pulling out a lighttube, and Duke grabbing a chair. Afterward, they both slide into the ring, immediately coming up on the radar of Sugato and Shizuka who stop pummeling each other and get ready to fight.
Jones and Sugato advance toward one another while Duke and Shizuka reserve the rest of hte ring for themselves. When the Pretty Boy gets within striking distance, Black swings his lighttube horizontally, but Gato ducks, coming back with a punch, but Jones’ quick reflexes allow him to circumvent the attack. Before Sugato can pull back his arm from the missed punch, the tube comes down and smashes across his forehead, shattering into a million pieces upon impact in a beautiful cloud of dust. Gato goes down, holding his face which is cut from the vicious blow. Hagane swings his chair with full, malicious force overhead, but Shizuka drops down to score with a Low blow, before getting up to kick Togo in the right knee - the tag champ wincing in pain as the aforementioned limb almost buckles. However, he stays on his feet long enough to raise the chair again, this time connecting as he cracks the brawler in the cranium and sends her down hard.
Darrin Stearns: Rush Hour is cleaning house right now.
Tom Higashikata: What did you expect Darrin? My boy Black from the ghetto, he is about
that life. And my boy Duke been going HAM since day one you know Wu Tang ain’t nothin’ to mess with!
Minoru Asano: I don’t know what you said funny man, but I like it.
Jones discards the broken end of the lighttube and pulls Sugato up to a vertical base, then looks over at Hagane and nods at him. Togo gets up as Black grasps his foe’s wrist and slings him in his partner in crime’s direction. Gato can’t suppress his momentum as Togo reels back the chair for a home run swing, then thrusts it forward as his adversary draws closer - then GPB and chair clash. Gato’s face, already reddened by the fluorescent lighttube, gets smashed in by the metallic piece of furniture before he recoils back and falls to the canvas. Duke lowers his weapon and turns back toward Shizuka, looking to follow up on her now, only to find out that she has recovered as he stares at her boot which come flying in his direction. The Yakuza Kick drops Hagane to a knee, loosening his grip of the chair considerably, allowing Shizuka to snatch the weapon out of his clutches. The crowd cheers as she grins deviously, raising the weapon overhead as she salivates at the mouth with an eagerness to give Togo a taste of his own medicine.
*CRACK*Darrin Stearns: Good Lord. I didn’t know she could pack that much punch with that chair!
Tom Higashikata: Duke is my boy I hate it had to be him.
Minoru Asano: Glad it wasn’t me though. Let us drink to my health.
Jones looks over to see what just transpired, and sees Shizuka standing tall over his sprawling partner with a chair in hand. Enraged, Black immediately looks to avenge his partner, charging straight at his nemesis. His impulsiveness spells his doom, as his breadbasket absorbs the top of the chair which causes him to double over. Shizuka then brings the chair overhead before swinging it down and slamming it across Jones’ back. The Tag Champion immediately drops down on all fours, prompting the vicious brawler to hit him again, and again and again. She doesn’t stop, as she appears to have snapped as she continues to swing the chair down across the Philadelphian’s back, not relenting until the fan favorite’s frame goes completely motionless, worn down and battered from all the punishment he just sustained.
The chair wielding maniac focuses her sights on Sugato who sits up off the canvas and takes a breath, back turned to his opposition who eagerly holds the chair in her clutches. Sugato turn toward the ropes and gets to his knees, pulling himself up on them as Shizuka lifts her weapon overhead. The chair begins it’s trip in the direction of Gato the instant that the Galactic Pretty Boy gets to his feet.
Tom Higashikata: This chick is going postal yo! She’s surgical with that chair!
*CRACK*The crowd gasps as the steel crashes into the back of Sugato’s head, making him slump forward onto the ropes in a dazed, and disoriented stupor. As he attempts to turn around to defend himself Shizuka wastes no time, raising the chair back up overhead again.
*CRACK*Sugato falls through the ropes following the point of impact, landing on the apron in an incapacitated heap. Marveling at the devastation she has created, Shizuka pridefully hoists the chair into the air, triumphantly celebrating as she appears to be the only one standing. Unbeknownst to her, Takuto is on the apron on the other side of the ring. When the opportunity presents himself, the pop star leaps onto the top cable and springboards back into the ring at Shizuka who turns around right into raised knees. Star Sword [Sapphire] drops the rampaging woman down like a bad habit, bringing an end to her violent tirade as the freshest man in the match to this point gets back to his feet. He immediately eyes Black Jones struggling to get to his, then takes a gander at the ladder standing up in front of him. He quickly climbs up onto the structure, then takes a look back at the Philadelphian who is now back up to a vertical base, albeit it gingerly. Without thinking, Takuto jumps back at Black, straddles his shoulders, then drags him forward with a Hurricanrana, launching the Tag Champion in a forward somersault where his momentum causes him to roll out of the ring.
Minoru Asano: Takuto come out of nowhere like a hangover for everyone in this match, Darrin!
Darrin Stearns: He was biding his time Minoru, waiting for the perfect opportunity and when things settled down he made his move.
Tom Higashikata: That’s because real G’s move in silence like lasagna.
Meanwhile on the outside of the ring, Yoshiko is back on her feet. She drops down and digs underneath the ring in search of an equalizer of her own. Withdrawing a kendo stick from the EXODUS weapon’s depot, she sets her sight on the action in the ring, where Taguto has Duke Togo in his crosshairs. Tag lifts Duke to his feet, immediately laying into him with forearm shot after forearm shot. He leans Hagane into the ropes, then tries to Irish Whip him across the ring into the ladder, only for the Tag Champ to reverse it into one of his own. However, Taguto has the presence of mind to stop his momentum in time to get a foot up on one of the ladder rungs, foiling Hagane’s plan. Refusing to let up, Togo charges straight at him - playing right into Taguto’s hand as the Cruiserweight drops down to execute a Drop Toe Hold, dragging Togo off his feet and coercing the Strong Style Specialist face first into the ladder. Already back on his feet, Sugato pulls Duke back to a vertical base, pulling him into a Straightjacket before dropping him with a nasty Facebuster.
Darrin Stearns: Galactic Cross Slash! We could have new champions right here.
Takuto quickly hooks Togos leg and covers him as Yoshiko slides into the ring and rushes to break up the count.
”ONE!”
“TWO!”The pinfall is interrupted as the wood of the kendo stick swings down and hits Takuto on the shoulder. With Sugato on the apron trying to recover, his partner is subject to another cane shot, this time to the top of his cranium. As soon as the rush of pain from the last shot arrives, the cane cracks him on the shoulder once more. Another shot follows where that came from, then another, then another, until neither Yoshiko, Takuto, or anyone in the arena can keep count, as the deliverer of the vicious, barbaric strikes goes crazy with the weapon as the audience cheers while the unfortunate soul on the receiving end of the attack tries to overcome the pain and get up.
Tom Higashikata: Damn! Shawty is caning the hell out of bull. She must not have liked his last album either.
Minoru Asano: She’s chucking wood around like this one woman I met in a nightclub in Mexico, which brings me to this point -
Darrin Stearns: We know, we know… never go to Mexico!
Yoshiko finally ceases her assault, her victim now resting on the mat and getting up to all fours. She grabs him by the hair and begins trying to pull him up, Takuto not coming up very quickly but still not acting as dead weight. Yoshiki quickly grows tired of trying to get him to a vertical base, and simply lets him get up to his knees before slapping him in the side of the head with a cane, trying to knock him back down. He remains upright, despite having his skull rattled, prompting Yoshiho to blast him in the other side with a Roundhouse. The GPB member still sits up on his knees, his eyes rolling in the back of his head while his body refuses to drop - eliciting another cane shot, followed by another Roundhouse. Yoshiko suddenly fires off with a rapid succession of vicious, brutal, and STIFF blows. Cane. Roundhouse. Cane. Roundhouse. Cane. Roundhouse. Takuto still remains on his knees, though he looks like a swift wind will take him right down. Shocked by his resiliency, Yoshiko backs up a few feet and contemplates a way to put him out of misery.
Unknown to her, Sugato is finally up, having already dropped down to grab a trash can lid. Sliding into the ring with lid in tow, he raises it overhead and swings it just as Yoshiko begins running to her target. Any intentions to pint sized brawler had of causing further harm with the shinai are immediately vaporized as the aluminum lid collides with her countenance, sending her to the mat, causing her to drop the cane as well. Sugato puts his foot on the wooden weapon and kicks it out of her hand before nudging it out of the ring, rending Yoshiko unarmed. Afterward, he drops the lid down on the canvas then turns to his partner to help him shake the cobwebs. On his feet now, Takuto helps Saguto lift their foe back to her feet, and both Galactic Pretty Boys apply stereo front face locks before dropping Yoshiko face first onto the can lid.
Darrin Stearns: Double DDT onto the lid!
Tom Higashikata: Ain’t enough makeup in the word to cover up what they just did to her face.
Minoru Asano: She look like my wife now. Only beautiful with lights off. Sorry baby, I drink now and shut up. I love you.
Saguto quickly covers the dazed Yoshiko.
”ONE!”
“TWO!”Shizuka comes in with a Double Axe Handle out of nowhere to break the count. She immediately begins unloading on Saguto with rights and lefts, but before she can make any headway with her assault Takuto is right on her. He pulls her off his partner, stands her up, then bounces her head off the nearby ladder. Back on his feet, Saguato joins Takuto in the beatdown, as both men take turns slamming her face into the ladder rungs in a game of oneupmanship before leaning her into the ropes. Then drag her off the cables in an Irish Whip, launching her across the ring. Instead of rebounding, Shizuka latches onto the top cable to halt her momentum, prompting Takuto to charge forward - only for the shrewd brawler to drop to the canvas and pull down the ropes, sending him over with a low bridge. She quickly scrambles to her feet and charges at Takuto who is waiting for her with a Clothesline - she ducks, then levels him with a Jumping Crescent Kick when he turns around.
Sugata crawls off the canvas, slithering into the nearest corner as he tries to regain his bearings. Meanwhile, Shizuka grabs the ladder and puts it in the diagonal corner, setting it up there. With the noise in his noggin dying down, Gata pulls himself up with the aid of the turnbuckles and makes a dash at Zuka. She is waiting for him, drawing him as she drops down into a crouch before exploiting his momentum against him, quickly exploding to lift him up into a Flapjack, dropping him face first across the ladder. The patrons gasp as Sugata remains plastered across the rungs like an insect speared across a windshield - seemingly incapacitated and very much easy pickings for Shizuka. Pulling him off the ladder, Zuka doubles him over into a standing headscissors, quickly under hooking his legs before jumping up into the air only to drop back down and plant the GPB face first into the canvas.
Darrin Stearns: Genocide! Damage INC. is three seconds away from going home with the gold.
Minoru Asano: Good cause I’m running out of beer. I need to be drunk to commentate.
Tom Higashikata: And I need to be
high-eeee-rrrreed. Yeah. I need to be hired to do this job full time. That’s what I was gonna say.
Shizuka slowly rolls Sugata over, and applies the lateral press for the cover.
”ONE!”
“TWO!”
“THR - JONES WITH THE SAVE”The beloved Philadelphian slides in with a low Dropkick right to Shizuka’s temple, sending her rolling off Sugata. Dazed and confused, she slowly pulls herself up in the corner - but that’s right where Jones wants her. Springing to his feet, Black backs up a few feet before charging right and flying in with knees to the chest, then a Rolling Snapmare, which he caps off with a vicious, and thunderous kick to the face to complete Immortal Technique. Noticing his downed foe’s positioning, Jones makes a rolling gesture with his hands, upon making a beeline for the opposite ropes which he leans into to build up momentum. Bouncing off, Jones drops down to the canvas in a forward roll before springing off his feet into a somersault. He lands across Shizuka’s carcass, dropping his entire two hundred and ten pound frame on top of her to score the Rolling Thunder Senton. In visible pain, Zuka rolls into the middle of the ring, and with the audience going nuts Jones climbs back to his feet with his eyes set on the ladder propped up in the corner.
He pulls the ladder off the turnbuckles, and holds it horizontally across his body before ascending the turnbuckle. Everyone in the arena is on it’s feet in anticipation of whatever he has planned, knowing whether he succeeds or not is irrelevant because the fall will be something marvelous. With that in mind, Jones suddenly leaps off with a Moonsault, but Shizuka rolls out of dodge to avoid being crushed. However, Jones lands on his feet, then brandishes his incredible athleticism as he performs a standing Moonsault, hitting it as he drops his weight and the ladder right across Shizuka’s body, compressing her between the steel, his mass, and the canvas.
Darrin Stearns: STAY SCHEMIN’ WITH THE LADDER!
Tom Higashikata: He learned that from the streets, Darrin, where everything is a weapon. That’s my main man hunnit grand’.
Minoru Asano: School of Hard Knox is good school, good school. Let us drink to celebrate their graduate!
Jones tosses the ladder, sliding it out of the ring before covering Shizuka.
”ONE!”
“TWO!”
“THR - YOSHIKO WITH THE SAVE”The other member of Damage INC. comes in with boots to Jones, breaking up the count as she proceeds to stomp a mudhole in the Tag Champion. She relentless lays into him, that is until Duke Togo comes into view to garner her attention. Yoshiko quickly moves away from Jones and charges at Hagane with a Clothesline - Duke ducks, then returns fire Sunset! The High Impact Clothesline seemingly beheads Yoshiko whose head bounces off the canvas awkwardly. She quickly staggers to her feet, perhaps on instinct more than anything, and lurches into the ropes. When she turns around, Hagane comes in with another Clothesline, one that sends both competitors flying over the ropes and spilling to the outside. The only two signs of humanity belong to the two combatants in the squared circle who slowly climb to their feet. They immediately engage in a fist fight with the crowd cheering every strike from Jones, and booing every response from Shizuka. Eventually, Black gets the upperhand, or so he thought, as the vindictive brawler stymies his momentum with a well placed thumb to the eye. With Jones’ vision impaired, Shizuka drops to pick up the trash can lid before cocking it back, swinging it forward, and smashing it right across Black’s cranium. She follows up with another strike, then another, a fourth, and finally a fifth, rendering the object useless, and the Tag Champion groggy and out on his last legs as he is reduced to a knee.
Minoru Asano: New game. Drink every time she smash Black in the head.
Tom Higashikata: This is what MLK died for, so that Asian chicks and Black dudes could beat the hell out of each other for thirty minutes.
Darrin Stearns: I won’t even touch
that. Meanwhile, Shizuka is moving in for the kill. She’s got Genocide on her mind!
Indeed, Shizuka has Jones positioned for her finishing maneuver. However, just as she had underhooked the arms, the fan-favorite powers out, then lifts her overhead with a Back Body Drop. As Zuka hits the canvas, Black stumbles forward into the ropes, his brainpan still assimilating the damage it just sustained seconds ago. As he shakes the cobwebs and turns around, Shizuka climbs up to a knee, prompting Jones into action. As soon as she reaches a vertical base, Jones leaps into the air and swings his leg to crack her in the head.
Darrin Stearns: POETIC JUSTICE!
The Enzu Shining Wizard renders Shizuka unconscious, giving Black all the incentive he needs to go for the pin as he performs the lateral press and hooks both legs.
”ONE!”
“TWO!”
“THREE”As the bell sounds, and “Braveheart” by Lupe Fiasco hits the P.A. system, Black immediately celebrates. Hagane rolls back into the ring as Brian Lowery hands the duo their championships which they hoist pridefully into the air, happy to have overcome the odds. As they continue to celebrate amidst cheers, both GPBs re-enter the ring, immediately stopping the celebration as they walk right up to Jones and Togo.
Darrin Stearns: What’s going on here?
Minoru Asano: Maybe the GPB are trying to score invites to the Rush Hour after party. What do you think, Darrin?
Darrin Stearns: I doubt it… hey where’s he going?
Tom quickly discards his headset and makes his way to the ring to see what’s going on. Inside, Takuto and Sugata offer Jones and Togo handshakes in a show of sportsmanship. Before the gesture can be reciprocated, Tom walks up to both parties, and more specifically, Rush Hour.
Tom Higashikata: Black, are you going to dap up these chumps after all that crap they were saying on twitter?
Jones doesn’t seem to mind, shrugging it off as competitive banter. He looks ready to shake Takuto’s hands, that is until Tom gives him a legitimate reason not to.
Tom Higashikata: Remember what he said about your girl, bro?
That seems to do it, as Jones nods and furrows his brow in anger before flagging off Takuto. Shindo takes offence and shoves Jones, and the four men immediately get embroiled in a shoving-shouting match that looks like it can descend into chaos as any moment whilst Brian Lowery attempts to break them up, all the while Tom grins mischievously and we fade to black.
WINNERS AND STILL (R)EVOLUTION WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: RUSH HOUR