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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:28:49 GMT -6
Pond: Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of (R)Evolution Wrestling! Minoru Asano: Hi friends! We’re only two weeks away from drinking time! Pond: ...you mean R to the Core 2? Minoru Asano: That’s what I said! Pond: No, you said drinking time. Minoru Asano: Silly Pond, drinking time is now! Pond: ...big show tonight. Both of Samuels brothers are in action, along with Jackie Fowler’s return. We have Caleb Storm and Explosivo taking on the Pantheon, Naiser King and Sydney Christensen taking on Lannister and Darius, it’s pick your poison time, and in our main event, Gunnar Stahl meets Cassius Reed! Minoru Asano: You know what I love, Pond? Pond: Alcohol? Minoru Asano: Yes. But also alcohol flavored LAZERADE! Pond: ...yeah me too, they’re really good. Like our opening match, where Damage Inc meets VIOLENCE! Minoru Asano: Is that the best we’ve got? Pond: I’ve been drinking since 1pm. Minoru Asano: Me too! Let’s get down to the action! DAMAGE INC vs. VIOLENCE NT Damage Inc wasn’t happy to see VIOLENCE. They showed this by immediately attacking the two, taking their light tubes. They then smashed the light tubes over their knees, and you could see the sadness in the eyes of Kojima and Murayama that they didn’t get to destroy the tubes. And then Damage Inc beat them. Really hard. With their fists. The two deathmatch kids tried to put up a fight, but they just got hit more. Finally, mercifully, the beating was ended with a FINISH NAME to Kojima, and the pinfall after, as Damage Inc continues to send the message that THEY were the ones who deserved another shot at the RW tag belts. WINNERS: DAMAGE INC. We cut to backstage, in one of the many locker rooms littered around the dojo. This one is quite small and basic. TV in one corner, a sign pointing towards the showers, a pair of pale blue lockers and a punching bag. Rocking back and forth on a wicker chair is the figure of Brendan Samuels, clad in an Hawaiian shirt and white chinos, a pair of sunglasses upon his head as flicks with a book in his hands, obviously a copy of the King James bible. In front of him is a very familiar figure, dressed in the garb of a roman gladiator and throwing sharp jabs at a punching bag. None other than Jackie Fowler. Jackie Fowler: Something’s gotta give. Brendan Samuels: Ye tellin’ me, lad. Jackie throws his arms up in frustration after giving the bag a particularly powerful haymaker that rocks it back to and fro. Samuels seems unfazed, however, lost in the words in front of him Jackie Fowler: I don’t get this fookin’ bookin’, yanno? Why da fook did that ipad pokin’ pillock Stearns book that shite? Brendan Samuels: Ye need to keep ye head cool, boyo. Jackie Fowler: What ya mean ‘keep me head cool’? Jackie’s voice raised, an overly aggressive tone that made the cool and collected Irishman raise his head ever so slightly. Brendan Samuels: Exactly that, lad. A simple question and ye tryin’ t’bite me head off. Thar be why you got int’ this mess. If ye just kept t’ye set target, nought would have happened. The fired up Fowler slaps the book right out of The Kraken’s hands, sending it tumbling through the air right into the locker across the room. The Irishman lets out a sigh, standing up and towering over the Bastard of Bowland. Jackie Fowler: Ye don’t know shit! I were gone for four months, mate. Four months I were forced away an’ none of it were me fault, right? I get back and find she been lining up dicks around the corner! Fowler has begun to poke Brendan quite sharply in the chest, directly into a skull and crossbones pendant that hangs from his neck, though Samuels sharply swats his hand away. Brendan Samuels: Unless ye friend has a medical condition, I think it would be only ‘one dick’ Jackie Fowler: Ah, what the fuck do you know? The much larger Irishman grabs the lad from Clitheroe by the shoulders, speaking to him coolly. Brendan Samuels: More than ye know, lad. I been through hell an’ back, right? I’ve seen things that will make ye skin crawl and the hairs on ye back not only stand on end, but fall out all t’gether. Nev’r question me on matters like that. Ye had ye shite, fair enough. It’s shite. But we be in the same ship now, right? I were brought in this navigate, an’ navigate I will. Ye actions have thrown us off course somewhat, but if ye get yeself t’gether ye will get through these stormy waters all t’better. Jackie pushes him away, forcing Brendan to take a backstep. Jackie Fowler: Fuck off, Pugwash. Dave Nice to see you two getting along so well. The sound of the feminine voice takes their attention away from their argument. Waltzing into the room, wearing impossibly tight jeans and a t-shirt bearing a clockwork eye motif is Dave, her blonde locks flowing down to her shoulders. She pats Jackie on the back as he gives her a curt nod. She gives Brendan a warm hug, one that lingers on ever so slightly and leaves Jackie slightly uncomfortable. Jackie Fowler: Weren’t you two porking each other once upon a time? The pair of them stare at each other for a second, then turn their gaze to Jackie and tut in unison. Dave takes his spot in the wicker chair, pulling out her mobile phone with a sly smile upon her face. Brendan Samuels: I suppose ye have a message from t’computer? Jackie stretches his head as he glares at the smiling Dave. Jackie Fowler: Yanno, I were wonderin’ what you had to do with all of this. Dave: Who do you think has been passing on all these messages? Brendan Samuels: Ye mean ye in direct contact with them? Jackie Fowler: You ain’t been? The Ripper begins to chortle quite loudly, much to the irritation of The Navigator. Jackie Fowler: Ya don’t even know who they are, do ya? Brendan Samuels: Doesn’t matter t’me, lad. We have the same goals. I needed a way t’get back here an’ give an education t’me bro. Computer’s given me that. Wouldn’t have got here without ‘em. Who they are? Don’t matter t’me. As Jackie turns back to Dave, she waves her phone about, though it is quite unclear what is exactly on the screen. Jackie Fowler: I were expectin’ a computer. Dave: I have the app! Downloaded for only $9.99 from the EXODUS app store! Jackie Fowler: Fuckin’ rip off. Not like I can afford it. I never get paid! Dave rolls her eyes at Jackie’s complete ignorance. Dave: Cut your wack, Jack! And listen to what they have to say! And you both better be ready for your matches tonight. You can’t take nothing for granted in Revo! At this point, the camera seems to pan out of the room slowly but surely as the group stare at the phone. A voice is heard, but it is quite unclear what is being said. As the view leaves the room, the door slams shut on its own accord. As the camera turns, it jolts slightly, as if the cameraman jumped at the sight that lay before him. Two identical figures with long black hair and ruby red lips in matching ballerina outfits. Daughters Of Janus: We know what you did. And with that, we suddenly cut to static, before returning to ringside.
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:29:05 GMT -6
Pond: Next up we have Ciaran Samuels meeting Oliver Creed. Ciaran’s had a hard time lately, what with amnesia, his brother showing up, and...I dunno, finding enough hours in the day to bang Genevieve Tate? Minoru Asano: A true conundrum! Let’s see how he handles it tonight! CIARAN SAMUELS vs. OLIVER CREED Some have wondered what kind of effect having his brother back around has had on Ciaran. We know the answer to that now. Oliver Creed especially knows that. Creed started off the match strong, throwing blow after blow at Ciaran. And then Ciaran fought back. He hit Oliver over and over, hard, knocking the big man back and eventually down. The moment he went down Ciaran followed, immediately locking in Scylla, forcing Creed to tap out, sending Brendan a message. WINNER: CIARAN SAMUELS
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:29:16 GMT -6
Pond: Up next is a match featuring (R)Evolution Wrestling's new Human Wrecking Ball. Minoru Asano: I prefer the term Freight Train, friend! Pond: Either way, it's Issac Solo meeting Stacey-X...and it's next! As Take The Reins starts to play over the PA system, Stacey-X steps out into the arena. She pauses a moment at the top of the ramp, before heading straight to the ring at a sprint, sliding straight in under the bottom rope. She moves to the ropes, climbing onto the middle rope, bouncing on it as he lifts both her arms above her head, crossing them in an X. With this, she drops back to the mat, and starts to stretch out, awaiting the bell. A sample from the late, lamented TV show LAST RESORT sounds out... the voice of Andre Braugher asking... "Do you WANT a war?" Immediately, "Nate" by Vince Staples kicks in. Out into the arena steps Issac Solo, dressed only in his ring gear, with a white towel draped over the back of his neck. He clutches to the towel with both hands, as he makes his way in, tossing the towel ringside as he prepares to fight.... ISAAC SOLO vs. STACEY-X Stacey-X went into this match prepared to give her all against a new brash competitor in (R)Evolution Wrestling, and it was certainly going to be an interesting experience. It was a major clash of styles with her high flying and Issac's ground based game, but it was more a battle of big man vs. significantly smaller woman. Stacey, despite at least some ring rust, proved that she still had quite a bit of fight in her, and she did her best to take Solo off his game with rapid fire kicks and even a huge tornado DDT that looked like it spiked Solo on his head! Stacey looked to prepare her and everyone else for one of the biggest upsets we can remember recently, and as she climbed the turnbuckles to leap off for a flying cross body once Solo got up....she was instantly derailed by Solo catching her with ease and dropping her with a powerslam! Solo started taking over, throwing Stacey around and putting on a clinic of power, showing people just how absolutely devastating he could be when he had all systems go. Solo started to whip Stacey to a corner, but she reversed it to his surprise, following it up with running high knee and a corner bulldog, completing the Slam Dance! The fans were genuinely surprised and very taken aback that someone managed to stop the tide that Solo was bringing, but they started dueling chants for both competitors which led to Stacey charging again...ONLY TO GET AN OOPS UPSIDE YOUR HEAD FROM SOLO! The slap seemed to stun and level Stacey simultaneously, leaving the reeling Stacey vulnerable for Solo to lift her and hit the Samoan Squash! With an emphatic hook of the leg, Solo got the three count and once again proved that he was a destructive force! WINNER: ISAAC SOLO
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:29:29 GMT -6
Pond: Next up, Jackie Fowler returns. Unfortunately. Minoru Asano: Boy he sures does tweet a lot! Pond: He sure does and boy he sure shouldn’t. Or, at least, keep his relationship drama to DMs or something. Minoru Asano: But then how will we know it’s happening? Pond: ...shut up and let’s go to the ring. CHRISTOPHER MOORE vs. JACKIE THE RIPPER FOWLER Both men were set in the ring when we came to the match, circling each other as the bell rang. Fowler, obviously still finding his footing after his long absence, found himself quickly outmanoeuvred by the fasted Moore. Moore’s technical style quickly proved a point of frustration for Fowler, Moore quickly cycled though a range of locks and holds, before bringing Fowler crashing to the mat with a Spinebuster. Fowler came back hard and fast, his anger beginning to show, hitting a wild and varied array and boxing punches, only broken as Moore managed to get a boot up whilst guarding, and kicking Jackie hard in the chest, knocking him back, and spinning him round, before quickly following up with a Flipping Cutter for the two count. After showing off the range of German, Dragon and Tiger Suplexes at his command, Moore decided to call for the end, heading the top rope, drawing a thumb across his throat as he did. With only a brief pause for balance, Moore leapt with the Shooting Star… straight into the raised knees of Jackie! The opportunity was all Jackie needed, getting to his feet, and delivering a hail of Stomps to Christopher’s battered chest. Roaring, Jackie pulled Christopher up to his feet, and returned to the boxing assault, targeting Moore’s battered rips. Laughing, Jackie paused a moment, letting Christopher lower his guard in confusion, before hitting him with the Middle Finger Salute, before sending him to the corner hard. Without waiting a moment, Jackie ran to the ropes, deftly hopping up to the top rope and running along it before diving off and hitting Moore in the corner with the Old School? Fuck School! With Moore dazed by the ropes, Jackie deftly manhandled him into the ropes, before grinding his hips at Moore’s face, loudly shouting “SUCK ME DICK!”, before pulling him out, his feet hooked on the ropes, and hitting the #SMD for the three count. WINNER: JACKIE FOWLER We come backstage, and Betsy Granger seems incredibly nervous as she approaches a door, seeing what she was afraid of when she opened the door. There, towel over his head, belt draped over his shoulder, is the (R)Evolution World Champion Carey Caldwell. Lights dim, the champion takes the belt off his shoulder as he stares down at it, ignoring Betsy. Betsy Granger: C-C----Carey, I just want to talk to you about your upcoming Pick Your Poison match tonight and Revolution Roulette next Monday. I know that you've got to be confused, as this is the first time Darrin Stearns has not revealed someone's Pick Your Poison since he made this a (R)Evolution tradition. How do you feel about that? Carey Caldwell: .... Betsy Granger: Carey... She still gets no response. Betsy Granger: Ca-- Carey Caldwell: ...I'm 50rry, but CaReY i5n't in right n0w... Betsy Granger: Carey, this has just been...not you. Carey Caldwell: W311...WH0 AM I?! DOOOooooooo y0u hav3 any id3a Whooo00000ooooOOOo I AM? I HAV3N'T R3A11Y B33N SUrE MYS3LF LAT3LY! S33333333333eeeee, there's been a l0t g0ing on in this head of mine, B3tsy. AND I H3AR TH3 S0UND5 0F THE 3ARTH SINGING MI FI MI! Carey pulls the towel off his head, and it's clear that Carey has definitely seen better days. Taking a deep breath, his stubble is a little more obvious and the rings under his eyes from his lack of sleeping are clear at this point. Standing up, he looks down at Betsy and looks aggressive for a moment...all before he sighs. Carey Caldwell: I ain't been right in the head the past few weeks, Betsy, but that isn't going to stop me from putting down whatever knucklehead NoVaK picked to get in the ring with me. And a week from now, before I take him down personally in our World Title match, I get the opportunity to punch him right in the teeth along with that turncoat, Chris Strike. Maybe I'm not right in the head at the moment, but I'm right in the head enough to still know how to crack some skulls. Carey twitches for a moment and turns his head to crack his neck while he starts to look angrier than he normally does. Carey Caldwell: NoVaK doesn't get a say in how my future goes. He doesn't get a say in my destiny. My future is only decided by me and me alone. If he doesn't see that tonight when I pulverize whoever he sends out there, he's gonna see it next week whether Beowulf wants to stand by me or not. S000000000000000...th3 0nly per50n that's gonna be s3333eeeiNG 5TAR5...is the goddamn Supernova, because he can 3̨͙̙͚͍̔͂x̪̰̯͗̍͗̆̿̏̉p̞̗̰͍̤͑3̺͛ͥ͌͆ͣcͪ͋ͫ͘t͖̖̫̽̽̐͜.̼̰ͪͪ̃̆.̤̹ͦͯ̃̔̑͠.̛͓̦̣̑̿ͅ.̔̽͌͑̋͏̻͈͎̹͙̙T̺͍̣̖̺̜0̸̙̞̜̪͔̲ͦ͐ͦ ̮̮̹͓̱͈̒̀͡G̪̥̒̊͌ͥ͑̚̚͞3̥͓͉̺̺͕̈́̚T̖̻̯͎͍͎̖ͨ̽̉͛͆̓͆ ̠͇̖͈̜͚̹͌͜W̵͚̝̲̝ͪͤ́ͥͩ͋R͙͎ͭ͊͋3͓͖͉͍̀C̱͎̮̹̭̣͙K̲̟̭̝̍́̅͘3̜̪̳̯̱̙̔̈̍̿ͫ͒ͣ͝D̙̫͚̅ͧ̆̅ͪ̋!͂͛̂͒͆ͤ҉̺̖̜̱̲̝̝!̴̽̊ͭ̌͌̉!͓͂̐̃̐ͨ͗ͬ͠!̯͉͎̳̟͙̗̒̈́̌̐ͪ́!̳̙ͯ~̶ͦ̃~͓͎͎̝̊͋ͣ͠~̴̊͗͛!̵̟͚̺̬͇͇̼̉́͋!̙̩̖̥̺̌ͨ͐̈́ͩ!̺̂̃͋̓͝!̰̩̞͎ͧ̃ͪ̓ͪ̎̚ C̨͡͞a̴̵ļ̶̵l ́͢͞m͠y̵͘ n̛͝am̕e̷͡ ̢th͝ro̡̡u̸͞ǵh͘ th̨e̸ ̶͟c̢͡r̡e̶am̨ ̷̨a̸n̴̷͠d̵̵̡ I̵͏'l̸̨l̀͞ ̷͞h̶́̀e̷ar ýo͢u̸̶ ̕s҉͡cr̡͝èaḿ́ ́aga̶̡͡iņ.̕̕͠..̷̴̵ And on that, Carey starts marching off toward the ring, only to find himself being bumped into by a person he's grown far too familiar with over the past few weeks thanks to social media...Issac Solo. Issac Solo: Hey there, champ. Just wanted to wish you luck out there tonight. Keep yourself in tip top shape. Carey looks at him, and despite usually being willing to banter, Carey just simply says nothing, quite possibly out of already being severely agitated. Sighing, Caldwell stomps off toward the ring, leaving Solo smirking in the direction of the champ.
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:29:42 GMT -6
Pond: And now Brendan Samuels is in action. We’ve already seen Ciaran’s message to Brendan, you have to wonder what he’ll respond with. Minoru Asano: Let’s head down there and find out! BRENDAN SAMUELS vs. TAKERU YUUSOU Brendan wanted to send a message to his brother, that much was very clear. And he used Takeru Yuusou to do it. The Sushi Ronin started the match off fast, hitting several fast high-flying moves onto the sailor, but Brendan kept getting up. And the moment he managed to trip Takeru, that was it. Bren worked him over on the mat for some long minutes, taking him apart, until a rope break managed to get them up to their feet. Takeru seemed ready to try and take advantage, but Bren ducked his first attempt and quickly turned and he drove his boot into Takeru’s left shoulder, taking the fight right out of him. Brendan capitalized on this by quickly locking in and hitting the Mac Lir, pinning him after for the three count, responding to Ciaran’s message in kind. WINNER: BRENDAN SAMUELS
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:29:48 GMT -6
The lights dim in the arena again, and just like last show, "Sour Grapes" by Puscifer begins to play, the crowd a little more positive this time as Ethan Anima makes his way out! And the angel of the lord led me Into the belly of the holy mother A chamber black as pitch But I felt no fear, only comfort, For I was as a child in the womb And she bade me "Peer through yonder portal Which looked upon the heavens, And behold! a mournin' angel..." Unlike last show which was filled with confusion, the response this time is a little more positive, and he approaches the ring with his staff in one hand and a stool in the other. Once he hits the ring, Ethan carefully puts the stool in place before he goes to take a microphone and speak while sitting down. Ethan Anima: Tonight, I come to you not as a man who has to explain his actions, but I come to as a man seeking an opportunity. Tonight, I throw myself upon the mercy of Darrin Stearns and you, the (R)Evolution Wrestling audience, to ask a request. I am but a simple man, a messenger of life itself, and I ask of you for an opportunity! I ask of you...grant me a match. The crowd seems to stir and seem confused during the request, and Ethan looks around at everyone, nodding slowly. Ethan Anima: I understand that I am in no position to make demands or force a hand, but I am merely asking for an opportunity. Perhaps I can use my skills and desires to make amends for the things my sister has done. Perhaps I can even forge a new path that the fans will approve of. And on that note, Ethan turns towards some fans in Section B, locking eyes with one of them. Ethan Anima: There are others that have been granted second chances, and I am seeking my first one! I do not ask for a lot from people, just a chance to do something with myself now that I have arrived her. I do not want to be a casual observer, I want to be involved! So I ask you...would you all be willing to support my wish to compete? A few people begin to applaud as Ethan smiles, now breaking his gaze from the popular Section B before he starts to look around again and smile. It seems like the support has reenergized him. Ethan Anima: I do not wish to push moral choices on you. I do not want to force you to conform to my choices. I just ask you to believe in me, and believe in life! For I am Ethan Anima...and I can make a difference in (R)Evolution Wrestling. All I ask is you believe in me. "Sour Grapes" starts again, and Ethan smiles as he starts to walk toward the back once more, staff in one hand and taking his stool with him. Pond: We’ve got a bit of an Orange County Title match preview here, as Caleb Storm teams up with one of his International Super Best Friends to take on the champ Venus, and Daniel Lanning. Minoru Asano: It’s Pantheon vs. friendship! What could happen? Pond: Anything, I’m guessing. Minoru Asano: ANYTHING INDEED! Let’s head down and see! Pond: With their Orange County Title match two weeks away, Venus and Caleb Storm have found some partners to square off in tag team action! Minoru Asano: Personally, I'm worried we may not see one of those teams, friend! The combination is just too fast! Pond: It's the light speed combination of Explosivo and Caleb Storm to meet the Pantheon's Venus and Daniel Lanning. Let's check it out! The Imagine Dragons remix of "Rumble and Sway" begins and the crowd goes from anticipation to immediate boos at the sight of Orange County champion Venus, along with her fellow Pantheon member, Daniel Lanning. The crowd boos, but they give the audience no mind as they continued to make their way to the ring. Once inside, Venus again shows off herself and her Orange County title as the crowd watches Lanning crack his knuckles and begins to prepare. As they wait, suddenly the lights blacken before... Climb upon my faithful steed, Then we gonna ride, gonna smoke some weed. Climb upon my big-ass steed, And ride, ride, ride... After that intro from "Explosivo" by Tenacious D, the music kicks into the second half of the intro of "Centuries" by Fall Out Boy, and the crowd erupts for the arrival of their favorite masked luchador and The Next Impact! In matching gear, the two salute the crowd from opposite ends of the entrance before coming to meet in the center to exchange an action movie-esque clasp of the hands before sprinting to the ring! The two slide under the bottom rope and then each hit the turnbuckles to salute the crowd before backflipping off the corners to get the crowd even more excited for the match! CALEB STORM & EXPLOSIVO vs. DANIEL LANNING & VENUS These four people were itching to prove a lot of things to people, and it was Caleb Storm willing to start off against Venus...who promptly tagged in Daniel Lanning and forced him to take on The Pantheon's resident Hermes. Caleb nodded and tried to start using his speed to avoid Lanning's heavy handed punches, using his kicks to try to take Lanning out! Having the advantage, he quickly tagged in Explosivo, who helped him double team Lanning with a double dropkick, tandem kip up, and a stereo standing moonsault sequence with Caleb! The crowd erupted loudly for Calebsplosivo, leading Caleb to take a moment to point and gesture to his partner to show the crowd should give his buddy some love! From that point, Explosivo continued to use his speed and aerial skills to disorient Lanning, doing an incredible job at that point. Explosivo tried to do a handstand flip elbow off the ropes, but Lanning managed to swing wildly and connect on The High Speed Luchador before going to tag in Venus. At that point, Venus came in and taunted Caleb the entire time by working over Explosivo's arms and back, occasionally mocking Caleb by holding out Explosivo's hand for Caleb to tag. Venus took Explosivo to task, using the opportunity to show off and show the world that she was the OC Champion and she was better than Caleb. As he tried to start getting the fans behind Explosivo, Venus went to attack him, causing Caleb to try to go after her, only to force the ref to restrain him while Venus and Lanning illegally double teamed The Supersonic Luchador. The crowd was starting to lose hope when out of nowhere, Explosivo hit a leaping kick that KO'ed Venus temporarily, but sent her reeling to tag in Lanning...ONLY FOR EXPLOSIVO TO TAG IN CALEB STORM! The Next Impact came in like a house of fire, a superkick sending Lanning reeling, all before he targeted Venus. Pointing right at her, Venus started to look nervous, finally giving everyone the confrontation they all wanted! Caleb and Venus started to brawl, Caleb ducking one of her clotheslines to hoist her up to attempt his brand new SuperstaRKO finisher, with Explosivo leaping up to the top turnbuckle and leaping off to nail a double stomp for a two pronged attack on the Orange County Champion! Explosivo went after Lanning to prevent him from breaking the pin, and as Caleb looked to go hit the Moment of Impact, Venus made a desperation jump to the ropes, crotching Caleb as he fell, Venus leaping up to hit the lungblower portion of The Fame Monster before rolling him into the crossface! With Explosivo distracted, Caleb held out for as long as he could before he had no choice but to tap out, giving the Pantheon a win, leaving them looking strong going into some all important matches over the next few weeks. WINNERS: DANIEL LANNING & VENUS We come backstage to the office of Darrin Stearns, with Darrin standing proudly by his desk before leaning against it and nodding. Darrin Stearns: It's been a few months, but like EXODUS Pro, we're on the road to The Autumn Effect! I'm pleased to say that like last year, the RW World Title will be defended at The Autumn Effect, where the participants will be determined over the next few weeks! Meanwhile, our Orange County and Tag Team Titles will take part in another now-annual tradition, The Autumn Effect Preshow, taking place the day before The Autumn Effect at the RIMAC. However, I come to you tonight to not only confirm that Ethan Anima WILL make his debut at (Я) to the Core 2, but "The Perfect Evil" Eve will meet Masato Kanemoto! Hopefully after this amazing event, I'll have more to use so we can start that road to the biggest shows in (R)Evolution and EXODUS history. Pond, Minoru...the floor is yours.
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:30:07 GMT -6
Pond: This is a big one. Sydney and Elizabeth have traded barbs for months now on social media, while Darius and Naiser just try to kill each other. Minoru Asano: Well Darius thought he ended things with Naiser after costing him the Orange County title but wow that went poorly. Pond: Indeed, and I can only expect to see more of that tonight if they’re in the ring at the same time. And what Sydney might do to Elizabeth’s face is given the chance, who knows. But I wanna see. Let’s head down. DARIUS REED & ELIZABETH LANNISTER vs. NAISER KING & SYDNEY CHRISTENSEN Sydney and Darius started us off, and it was a far smarter fight than people expected. Darius very clearly aware of Sydney’s pedigree, and Sydney was aware of what a mistake it would be to underestimate Darius’ prowess. This made both of them approach the other cautiously, and it was a fascinating watch. Darius still was aggressive, but he was smart about it. He would come at Sydney, but anytime she made it clear she already had the counter for it in mind, Darius backed off. Sydney meanwhile was waiting for her moment. Anytime she managed to get a hand on Darius she used it to her full advantage, making the big man regret any slip up he made, few as they were. But Darius is clearly the smartest of the three Reeds, and he showed it as he seemingly made a mistake and allowed Sydney to get him into a headlock, only to surprise her as he grabbed her waist suddenly and lifted her, forcing her to release the lock as he suddenly powerbombed her to the mat! With this sudden breakage of the stalemate, things seemed ready to move into Darius’ hands. But as he bent down to grab Sydney, he suddenly found himself rolled up! It was only a 2, but the surprise gave Sydney time to get to her feet, where she dove and tagged in Naiser King! The crowd went wild as the Mountain-God King came into the ring with a full head of steam and rage, charging at Darius as he was getting up and shoulder checking him to the mat! He doesn’t relent, going down on Darius with fist after fist, beating him with such intensity that the referee has to step in and separate them, taking all their strength to push Naiser off of Darius. This lets Darius get to his feet, and he seems ready to get the fight going...until he turns suddenly, and pats Elizabeth on the shoulder before hopping out of the ring. Elizabeth seemed not entirely surprised by this, but Naiser certainly was. He turned his head, sharing a quick look with Sydney, the two nodding. Naiser quickly tagged her in then took off at a run, propelling himself through the ropes onto Darius! The two big men went crashing down, Naiser already throwing fists. Elizabeth very arrogantly stepped up to Sydney, clearly taunting her...and Sydney decked her, to massive cheers from the crowd. She set in to continue hitting Elizabeth, while the referee looked outside the ring at the chaotic brawl between Naiser and Darius. This gave Elizabeth her chance, as she swiped Sydney’s legs out from under her, sending her throat first onto the ropes! She fell back, and Elizabeth quickly and easily rolled her up, the referee looking due to the noise and seeing the pin, counted it. WINNERS: DARIUS REED & ELIZABETH LANNISTER Elizabeth came up immediately, arm in the air ready to celebrate, only for Sydney to get into her face. The two went back and forth at each other, and we’re moments away from a brawl when "zer0space" by Kidneythieves hits bringing out Darrin Stearns! The man who runs RW quickly lets Sydney know she’ll have a chance to get back at Elizabeth, revealing that in two weeks at R to the Core 2, Sydney will face Elizabeth with a “great prize” for the winner. All the while, Naiser and Darius continued to fight, the brawl eventually spilling into the crowd and disappearing into the back.
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:30:53 GMT -6
Pond: So Masato Kanemoto is kind of a dick. Minoru Asano: Lil bit! Just hits people in the face and calls them evil! Pond: Yeah, he’s really not fond of Eve. They’re due to meet in two weeks but tonight, Angelina Fantastica, the little spitfire that could, gets a shot at Kanemoto. Minoru Asano: I believe in her! She has spunk, and speed, and red hair, and you know that makes you faster, and she has potential! Pond: I agree with all of those except that ridiculous bit about the hair. It doesn’t make you faster it makes you angrier. Minoru Asano: That’s close enough! Pond: ...sure, whatever. Let’s go watch it. ANGELINA FANTASTICA (w/ Eve) vs. MASATO KANEMOTO With Eve by her side, Angelina Fantastica bounded into the ring to face the Hunter, Masato Kanemoto. Much to everyone’s surprise (including Masato’s), the little luchadora came out swinging, using her incredible speed to counter Masato’s technical prowess. What some may have written off as a squash match turned into fast-paced brawl, with both Angelina and Masato pulling out all the stops to put on a show that had the crowd on its feet. A couple of times, it looked like it was all over for Angelina Fantastica, but she was able to rally and at one point turn the tables on Masato with a well-timed enzuigiri that knocked him off-balance, allowing her to go for the pin. But Masato, relying on years of training and his hunter’s instincts, managed to trap Angelina on top of the turnbuckle and bring the high-flying heroine down to get the three count and the win. As soon as Masato gets up, Eve rushes into the ring and stands between the fallen Angelina and Masato, the two of them staring one another down until Masato finally leaves the ring. Once the Hunter is on his way out, Eve helps Angelina to her feet and escorts her out, giving her friend a pep talk as they make their way backstage. WINNER: MASATO KANEMOTO
As the static begins to fade to a plane of pitch black. It consumes everything for mere moments, until a flash of coloured words are seemingly typed out in the top left hand of the screen "Hello World!"class Time def yesterday self - 90000 end end
The computer begins to send another of it’s mysterious messages. Images of various clocks spiral out of a vast ocean, spinning and spinning as their hands rotate around their faces, faces that resemble those targeted names on the ‘Kill List’. Their faces are warped, looks of anguish and pain etched upon them. Even the colouring is different. Shades of red and yellow, blue and green. Their eyes melt, their teeth fall out, blood drips from hollows were their eyes used to be, wax oozing from their ears. model FirstOrder parameter Real c=1 "Time constant"; Real x "An unknown"; equation der(x) = -c*x "A first order differential equation"; end FirstOrder;The sea begins to boil, tentacles flinging out from the steaming water to grab each clock and pull them under, a skull appearing and grinning manically as each one disappears beneath their shadowy grave. A murder of ravens flies above, screeching insanely. type Voltage = Real(quantity="ElectricalPotential", unit="V"); type Current = Real(quantity="ElectricalCurrent", unit="A"); ...The grey clouds open and acidic rain pours freely from the heavens, hissing violently as they splash upon the waves. There is a crash of thunder as bolts of lightning, green and blue and red and yellow illuminate the sky. A single clockwork eye has replaced the sun, lidless and never blinking. connector Pin "Electrical pin" Voltage v "Potential at the pin"; flow Current i "Current flowing into the component"; end Pin;The eye stares on as the sea boils and bubbles. The ravens begin to circle it, feathers falling off and slowly making their way down to coat the ocean in black. model Capacitor parameter Capacitance C; Voltage u "Voltage drop between pin_p and pin_n"; Pin pin_p, pin_n; equation 0 = pin_p.i + pin_n.i; u = pin_p.v - pin_n.v; C * der(u) = pin_p.i; end Capacitor;model SignalVoltage "Generic voltage source using the input signal as source voltage" Interfaces.PositivePin p; Interfaces.NegativePin n; Modelica.Blocks.Interfaces.RealInput v(unit="V") "Voltage between pin p and n (= p.v - n.v) as input signal"; SI.Current i "Current flowing from pin p to pin n"; equation v = p.v - n.v; 0 = p.i + n.i; i = p.i; end SignalVoltage;A robotic voice is heard in the distance, neither male or female, neither adult of child as the scene fades away to the darkness of a blank screen. “The Final Movement draws near. What have you done? You have taken what was pure and whole and left it rotten to the core.” R.getTheKilllist @novakofrevo R.getTheKilllist @cs_Helmsman R.getTheKilllist @ariesreedexpro R.getTheKilllist @iamlifer R.getTheKilllist @exo_GRENDEL R.getTheKilllist @dlmerc R.getTheKilllist @twmchrisstrike R.getTheKilllist @sterisorensen R.getTheKilllist @lady_Magdalena :::::#PhaseThreeIsComing::::: :::::R.getTheKilllist::::: :::::#RToTheCore::::: :::::#TheFinalMovement::::: :::::#TimeIsAllYouHave::::: :::::#TimeIsAllWeAre:::::
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:31:32 GMT -6
DAMON ALEXANDER ((r)W Tag Team Champion) vs. KOHEI OBATA At first, this match looked like it was going well. Damon and Obata faced off against one another, with Genji Yamato’s student eager to show the (r)Evolution crowd what he was capable of and to continue FIGHTING LOVE~’s ongoing feud with REVOLUTION. As soon as the bell rang though, Damon decided that he wasn’t about this life and ducked out of the ring, taunting Obata with a smirk on his face. Obata, however, decided that there was only one way to deal with Damon’s disrespect - by getting out of the ring, grabbing Damon, and throwing him back in. And while Damon put up a good fight against him, Obata’s technical prowess gave him the upper hand. Everything seemed to be going well for Obata, but before he could get into a position to win, DAMAGE INC came running out, splitting up and attacking both Obata and Damon! But their surprise was short-lived, as Kon and Sue came running out to help their respective partners, turning the match into a six-person brawl! NO CONTEST The tag partners of the two DI just chokeslammed enter the ring at the same time, ignoring each other to attack one of DI. Yoshiko and Shizuka fight back, but the odds start to get better as both Obata and Damon manage to get to their feets and join their partners. And then VIOLENCE showed up. The two deathmatch kids came down the ramp yelling their heads off, and quickly join in the fight, Kojima and Murayama valiantly trying to get at the Damage Inc that destroyed their light tubes, only to quickly find themselves fighting with REVOLUTION and KON-BAT as well. Due to the chaos that’s being caused by this, this summons the Imperium, Stacey-X and Jolyne Dysart sprinting down and sliding into the ring and, perhaps unsurprisingly, they go immediately for the REVOLUTION remnants. And then down the ramp come Angelina Fantastica and Jared Ramsey, because apparently that’s a thing, and they also join the fight. Pond: aaaaaand everyone’s fighting. Minoru Asano: I love brawls! Let’s take a drink for it! Pond: Might as well, unless something is done about it. As she says this “zer0space” by the Kidney Thieves hits as Darrin Stearns stomps out onto the stage, microphone in his hand. Darrin Stearns: No more of this! All of the teams in the ring stop, turning to look at the angry Stearns. Darrin: I won’t have my ring turn into this! You all want to prove who’s deserving of the next shot at the tag belts? Then you’ll get your chance! In two weeks, at R to the Core 2, there will be a tag team elimination match. The winner? Is number one contender to the Revo tag belts. Now get the hell out of this ring! Pond: Gee, who knew that all it took to get Darrin back into top shape was an Imperium… Minoru Asano: Wow, that’s a big match! Will every team be in that? Pond: I’d have to imagine so, besides Damon & Sue, obviously. A great match that Darrin made. Minoru Asano: I’m looking forward to it so much I’m gonna drink to it happening! Pond: Of course you are. Meanwhile, we’ll be right back.
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:31:54 GMT -6
Pond: Coming up next, it's one of the two Pick Your Poison matches for the night! NoVaK meets Carey Caldwell's chosen poison, Jared Ramsey. Minoru Asano: What do you think about his strategy, friend? Pond: The fact he's not quick to throw out the War Machines and go for more untested competitors is a huge psychological thing on Carey's end. He's picking people he trusts, but he's picking people that not everyone has seen. It makes for intriguing match ups and it also lets different people shine! Minoru Asano: We should drink to our friend's intriguing thoughts, Pond! Yaaay! Pond: Let's have a drink and head to the ring! Suddenly, the lights in the arena black out completely, the white noise of static flooding the speakers in a rather horrifying manner, when suddenly on RW's version of the EXOScreen... Suddenly, synthesizer and electronic noise comes through the speakers in place of the static as the picture never seems to get any clearer, the sounds of "Jacquard Causeway" by Boards of Canada kicking in as finally a single spotlight shows up at the entrance...in the form of a star. A familiar Danish accent is then heard as Steri steps out into the spotlight, a microphone in her hand. Steri: Please welcome...from the Superunknown....NoVaK...THE SUPERRRRRRNOVVVVAAAA! The same sample and sounds continue to the slow drum beat as NoVaK begins walking toward the entrance way with Steri following closely behind him. With a huge grin on the face of the Supernova it seems like the light follows him, small lights that look like stars lighting up over the ring, aisle, and entrance while he steps down, practically stalking something or someone on the way to the ring. As what seems to be the broken and hypnotic music track continues to play, the house lights start to flash in time with the drum beat, almost as if he's creating electrical feedback by being in the area. The Supernova starts to shiver in delight as he finally makes it into the ring, darkening the arena again, now making the "stars" burn brighter to the beat of the music instead of the house lights. This goes on as he looks out at the crowd, already booing him as he climbs the turnbuckle, spreading his arms wide whilst Steri makes her way to his corner. The music then changes to "Gold On the Ceiling" by The Black Keys, and the crowd starts to get on their feet for Jared Ramsey! Making his way down the aisle, he slaps hands with a few of the fans as he nods, getting kind of excited for what he can do. Slapping a few hands with the crowd, Jared looks at the task ahead of him and gets into the ring as he waits for the match to begin. PICK YOUR POISON I - CHALLENGER'S POISON JARED RAMSEY vs. NoVaK This was going to be a fun clash of styles with the daredevil style of Jared Ramsey and the unorthodox style of NoVaK! As the two started locking up, Jared began trying to use his speed to throw NoVaK off his game, and the Supernova was seemingly confused by Jared's hit and run offense! Jared's continued insistence on striking and quickly getting on his feet was enough to derail NoVaK long enough for Jared to catch NoVaK in the Round and Round, surprising him and needing to regroup! While NoVaK was pacing around outside, Jared ran toward the side of the ring where NoVaK was and made a huge leap over the ropes for a massive twisting plancha, taking him out! The crowd was starting to get really behind Jared, and he threw NoVaK back into the ring to cover him, but only got a two. Jared was pouring on the offense tonight, and the crowd could sense something really special was in the making, with him looking better than ever. Right after a series of rolling vertical suplexes, the young talent was looking down at the fallen Supernova and decided to hit the top turnbuckles, looking for the Lone Star! Leaping off and looking absolutely graceful as he did so, the crowd was stunned as he....GOT HIT WITH KNEES FROM NOVAK! The Supernova blocked it just in time! And after a few moments when Ramsey was looking to surprise the world, the crowd started to jeer as NoVaK lifted up Ramsey and nailed And So the Sun Dies, hooking his leg and getting the three! He may have won the match, but NoVaK and the RW crowd knew one thing...that Jared Ramsey was a star on the rise in (R)Evolution Wrestling. WINNER: NoVaK We come backstage to a locker room, where we see “The Perfect Evil” Eve, putting her ring gear from earlier when she accompanied Angelina into her bag, having changed to street clothes. She stands suddenly as she hears someone enter, turning to find Masato Kanemoto in the room. The Grim Hunter has one hand clutching his sheathed sword, as per usual, and he’s all smiles at her. Masato Kanemoto: It’s official now. In 14 days, the illusion of a “good” Perfect Evil is cut away. Are you prepared? Eve rolls her eyes. Eve: Are you prepared to get pinned down for three seconds? A small smile comes to her face. Eve: If you last that long… Masato scoffs. Masato Kanemoto: Deflect all you want, if that gives you comfort for your last days. Eve sighed. Eve: You are so dramatic. You’re not actually going to kill me out there. You might be a bit loony, sure, but not that much. Masato smiles. Masato Kanemoto: Of course not. But to expose your lies in front of the people you deceive, that would be the “death” of your facade, wouldn’t it? Eve: ...sure? Masato Kanemoto: Now you get it. Furthermore...loony? Really? What makes me “loony”? That I want to destroy evil? Eve: That you’re trying to “destroy” someone who isn’t. Masato lets out a quick laugh. Masato Kanemoto: You must be kidding. You’re the Perfect Evil! These people out there know what that means, try as they might to let themselves believe you’re different than the last one who used that name. Eve: I am different. I changed. Masato Kanemoto: Do you trust a bear with your child, just because it says it won’t eat it? You’re the wolf in the grandmother’s clothing. To trust you just based on your word is to be devoured when your back is turned. Eve starts to respond, but Masato cuts her off. Masato Kanemoto: You attacked the woman who is the “Ace” of this place time after time, you set a man on fire live on TV! You come back calling yourself the Perfect Evil, a name that terrorized this place, even worse than anyone out there truly knows, and you still name yourself after the woman that took paradise from humanity! Eve’s taken aback at all of this and, seemingly shocked, can only offer a small rebuttal to it all. Eve: ...I didn’t name myself. Masato Kanemoto: It’s your choice to keep wearing it. He takes a step forward, leaning down a bit to get into Eve’s face, who looks a bit uncomfortable, either at what he’s saying or how close he’s getting. Masato Kanemoto: How can anyone trust a person who chooses the name of the woman who plucked the forbidden fruit and cast us all from paradise, and then says she’s a friend? He takes a step back and then reaches forward with the hand holding his sword, tapping the end of the hilt against her chest. Masato Kanemoto: I’ll see you in two weeks, Perfect Evil. Eve. He turns and walks away without another word, leaving Eve to herself. She watches him go, and reaches a hand up to scratch at the back of her head. Her expression is uncertain. Eve: ...what a bother… She sits on a bench, looking down at the floor contemplatively. Eve: The name I chose, huh… We go to commercial.
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:32:01 GMT -6
Pond: And now it's time for the second Pick Your Poison match...and Carey Caldwell still doesn't know who his opponent is! Minoru Asano: Could NoVaK be planning on using Eve against Carey tonight? This could be bad, friend! Pond: I will tell you what is bad though, and that's the World Champ's condition. Carey Caldwell suffered a seizure recently, but we've been told he's medically cleared to compete tonight. Minoru Asano: I got a bad feeling about this... Pond: Let's hit the ring! The lights in the arena dim as the chugging riff intro of "Take Out the Gunman" by Chevelle begins! I awoke when the light hit me right in the temple Felt something cold touch my toes as it passed. Might not be the face you'd expect But he's clearly insane Got me pegged in the back! And as always, the silhouette stands at the entrance, but once again the (R)Evolution Wrestling World Champion stands there with the title and now the towel from earlier draped over his head. Starting to walk down the aisle as the chorus begins, the crowd just seems stunned at how slow and methodical he seems to be moving as opposed to his brisk pace he seems to usually walk. Just need a bit of luck, get 'em up Point the gun at the eyes Or at the knees, had to shoot, had to fight Gonna take out the gunman! Caldwell whips off the towel, and even some of the fans that have seen him and known him the longest are stunned by how disheveled he looks, surprising them with how tired and beaten down he looks as he gets to ringside, looking around as he takes a deep breath. Slowly getting into the ring, Carey starts trying to wake himself up and prepare for the match by slapping his face a few times while pacing around, Siobhan Mahoney having been with him the whole time and trying to shout at him to be ready. Finally, Caldwell leans against the ropes and waits for him, taking a deep breath while he waits for whoever is coming. Suddenly... As "Jacquard Causeway" by Boards of Canada continues to play, Carey starts to pace around angrily, but it starts to have more purpose when he realizes that perhaps NoVaK has selected himself to face Carey. Nodding while he smirks, starting to crack his knuckles at the possibility of facing his opponent over the next two weeks... ...but nothing comes. No, instead of that, the lights only darken more as a spotlight seems to focus on the entrance area, Carey screaming at his opponent to show himself...which is certainly only making the matter worse to him as soon as he sees what emerges from the curtain. Pond: ...he didn't. Minoru Asano: I think he did, friend. At the entrance in full Marine "formal" attire and a tag reading "CALDWELL" is the skeleton that NoVaK displayed to the world only two weeks ago. Looking irate at this point is Carey, pacing the ring as he starts smacking his head a little more and trying to recover from the shock and the issues going on mentally now. It's evident something isn't quite right in his brain while he kicks the ropes in anger at what he's seeing, the skeleton still at the entrance, hanging there, saluting Carey while Caldwell screams from the ring. Carey Caldwell: G3t Y0uR A55 0uT H3RE! The music keeps playing and the skeleton remains at the entrance, Carey starting to stagger in the ring before he hits the mat. As he collapses, Siobhan rushes the ring and tries to check on him, quickly pushed aside as the lights come back on with NoVaK having rushed the ring after hiding underneath it! The Supernova continues to attack Caldwell, kicking him in the ribs, not helping the fact Carey has already started to go into convulsions. Lifting Carey up, he doesn't hesitate to drop Carey with And So the Sun Dies! With Carey laid out, NoVaK snaps his head toward the defiant Siobhan, who isn't afraid to slap The Supernova across the face! Of course, that has yet to stop NoVaK, who just snaps his hand forward and grabs her by the throat, starting to back her into the corner! The crowd is in absolute stunned silence at the turn of events, and he just starts to move closer, smirking as he gets uncomfortably close to Caldwell's manager and confidant. NoVaK: SAY IT! BREAK THAT PROMISE! SAY IT! Siobhan Mahoney: NO! NoVaK: BREAK IT! BREAK IT BEFORE YOU NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN! BREAK IT BEFORE THE CHILD OF LIGHT FADES INTO THE ETHER! BEFORE I DESTROY THE GHOST IN THE MACHINE! I KNOW WHAT IT IS, SO SAY IT! Siobhan stands tall and defiant of NoVaK, refusing to acknowledge his words and his threat. Just as it looks like he's going to grab her and also give her And So the Sun Dies, the crowd watches as Chris Moore, Naiser King, and Gunnar Stahl sprint down to save their friends from a further assault by NoVaK. With Gunnar checking on Siobhan, Chris and Naiser are working to get the medics down and protecting him from further damage, we go back to Pond and Minoru.
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Sept 1, 2015 21:32:49 GMT -6
Following the shocking scene that just played out in the middle of the ring with NoVaK and Carey Caldwell, including the seizure and attack from The Supernova, we go backstage to find the World Champion getting medical attention with Siobhan Mahoney at his side. The Irish Asskicker seems genuinely concerned for her charge as he shrugs off the blanket medics put on him to help him in case of shock. Siobhan Mahoney: Carey, stop squirming and relax! The doctors just want to check up on ye after what happened. They're more concerned about the seizure than anything else. Carey Caldwell: Yeah, that's goddamn fantastic. As he looks at the ground, positively pissed that the incident has even occurred, he notices a large and small shadow cast over him and Siobhan, Caldwell looking up as he takes a deep breath and sighs when he realizes just what has arrived in front of him. Carey Caldwell: Well...this just got interesting. And indeed it has. Cutting over to see who is in front of the champ is a large bearded man and a southern belle. More savvy viewers will recognize them as Rachel Tatum Lee and her charge, Jed Wayne. Rachel Tatum Lee: Sugar, you look like hell and you smell even worse after that asskickin'. Carey Caldwell: Well, I'm not exactly in the greatest of states at the moment, Rachel. Good to see you, and good to see Bigfoot. Jed just gives him a look, an eyebrow raised at Carey. Carey Caldwell: Easy, Head & Shoulders, I'll find a nickname that works for you. What brings you two my way anyways? Rachel Tatum Lee: Looks like you and the lady here could use a little help with your current problem. And hey, you know what my kin says...we take care of our own. Carey Caldwell: So you keep tellin' me. This mean big man here is coming to play? Rachel Tatum Lee: Never say never, sugar. Look, you let me worry about that. We'll see what we can do about your little...issue. Carey Caldwell: I can handle NoVa-- Rachel Tatum Lee: I was talking about your Tourettes from Mars, sugar. She punches the shoulder of her friend playfully before she motions for Jed to follow her as Carey and Siobhan look on confused. Pond: OK, and here’s our final match. Minoru Asano: I am excited for this one! LAZERADE! is bringing us a sneak peak of next week’s (R)Evolution Roulette, as our very own Gunnar Stahl takes on Cassius Reed of EXODUS! Pond: Yeah. I think I’m going to need more of my special Tequila flavored LAZERADE! for this one. Minoru Asano: You kidding me? This will be great! The lights start to flash around the entrance as the beat and intro to “Äppelknyckarjazz” start to play over the speakers. (Spring!) Grannen är hack i häl, han påstår att jag stjäl från hans äppelträd
(Spring!) Jag vill ju väl men måste göra något åt vår misär
(Spring!) Far han är proletär och jobbar sent men har inte råd med käk så
(Spring!) Klart jag har mina skäl och för övrigt är ju grannen miljonär Out from the back comes Gunnar Stahl! With a towel draped around his neck and a powder blue custom Affliction shirt, Gunnar Stahl comes out confidently marching down from the ramp! Not gesturing to the fans, Stahl makes his way to the ring with purpose before getting in and taking a small skip in his step before raising his hands! Gunnar starts to stand in his corner, removing his towel and shirt, and tossing each of them into the crowd, taking a second to adjust his curly moustache before beginning to bounce on the balls of his feet, ready for battle. David Zinkus: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following bout is scheduled for one fall, and is the much publicised “BASH OF THE ‘TACHE”!. This battle is being brought to you by those fine people at LAZERADE! Introducing first, from Reykjavik, Reykjavíkurborg, Iceland… Weighting in at 215lbs… GUNNAR STAHL! Gunnar pauses a moment, raising his hands once more to the cheers of the crowd. David Zinkus: And now, introducing his opponent… The lights start to pulse around the entranceway, as You Suck by Pour Habit starts to play over the PA system. It’s not my fault your girlfriend likes me,
I do her hard like fucking warp speed.
Your Dad’s mad, it’s not my fucking fault,
That your Mom wants to fucking fuck me! With the bizarre laugh that follows that line, Cassius Reed comes sprinting into the arena, pausing for only a moment at the top of the ramp as he throws a couple of bottles of LAZERADE! into the crowd. He laughs, before sprinting down to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope. Once in the ring, Cassius rises, arms spread, revelling in the cheers of the crowd, his smile wide on this face. After few moments spent dancing in the middle of the ring, he moonwalks to his corner for the match. David Zinkus: And their opponent, tipping the scales at 205lbs, fighting out of Atlanta, Georgia, USA… CASSIUS REED! The crowd cheers as Cassius skips out of the corner, performing a little Ali Shuffle for their delight. Pond: This match looks great, Minoru. Stahl’s got his MMA background, Reed’s got his Boxing background, they’re both innovative wrestlers, this should be great! Minoru Asano: I don’t care! Thanks to those great guys at LAZERADE! bringing us a load of free drinks, I’m more hydrated than I’ve ever been! MAIN EVENT - BATTLE OF THE 'STACHES - PRESENTED BY LAZERADE! CASSIUS REED vs. GUNNAR STAHL The bell rings, and the two start squaring up to each other, Cassius’ feet dancing rapidly as he moves forward, Gunnar hopping from foot to foot, as they slowly draw closer to one another. It’s Cassius who darts forward first, locking up with Gunnar collar and elbow, but it’s Stahl who get’s the advantage, putting his slight weight advantage into play, forcing Cassius back into the ring ropes. Driving a Forearm into Cassius’ face, he forces him to bend back over the rope, Cassius grasping at air trying to get himself back upright. Before the referee has an opportunity to intervene, Gunnar backs off, Cassius quickly righting himself, stretching out his back as he looks to close the distance between Gunnar and himself. Cassius quickly darts forward, going for a Running Haymaker, but Stahl quickly drops to the mat, bring Cassius down over him with a Drop Toe Hold. Without waiting a moment, Gunnar runs to the ropes, and coming back hits Cassius hard with the Slapshot, sending Reed back down to the mat, clutching his chest. Pond: Gunnar getting the early advantage here, and holding onto it. Minoru Asano: Come on MMA man! Show him (R)Evo is best! Gunnar steps up to the fallen Cassius, pulling him back up to sitting by his head, before driving a barrage of Elbows into the side of his head. After a big strike, Gunnar goes running for the ropes, only just vaulting in time on his return as Cassius dives sideways to the mat. On the return, Gunnar ducks, as Cassius has pressed up to his feet, before doing a split-legged vault over the ducking Stahl. As Gunnar comes back again, hitting break neck speeds, Cassius sidesteps him, shoving him towards to ropes one more time, and as he comes back, going even faster, Cassius lines him up, and catches Gunnar with a Spanish Archer on his return, straight to the crown of his head, knocking him hard to the mat! Minoru Asano: EL BOW! Pond: Cassius with the big 12-6 Elbow to the top of Gunnar’s head there. At the speed he was going, he’s got to be seeing stars now. Cassius gets back up, and spins, his arms spread wide, as he bathes in the cheers of the crowd, as Gunnar rolls out of the ring, clutching the top of his head as he rolls out of the ring. As the referee goes to check on Stahl, and start the count, Cassius looks to Gunnar, and then to the crowd. As they roar in response, he holds his hand to his ear, gesturing “I can’t hear you”, as they roar once more. With a little skip, he heads to the opposite ropes, before coming back, and diving between the ropes, catching the rising Gunnar with a Suicide Dive, the crowd roaring in delight! Pond: I think we’re beginning to see signs of Gunnar’s lack of singles match experience. In a tag match, a roll to the outside is a safe place to regroup, to compose your thoughts. In a match like this though… Minoru Asano: BEWARE LOW FLYING GIANT MEN! Cassius is quickly back to his feet, whilst Gunnar lays out on the mat, his body having taken the brunt of the impact as the two men collapsed into the ramp. Cassius takes a moment to go to the crowd wall, taking a bottle of LAZERADE! from one of the crowd and taking a quick drink whilst the attendee slaps him on the back. He hands it back to the crowd member, before taking Gunnar by the back of the head, and running him back into the ring under the bottom rope, Gunnar rolling across the ring a bit as he does so to gain some breathing room. Cassius hop up to the apron, and as he tests the ropes to prepare for a springboard Gunnar charges forward with an Elbow, Cassius only just dodging by leaning back out of the way, before using some of the recoil from the ring rope to come back and hit a huge Body Blow under the top rope, to the unprotected stomach of Stahl, doubling him up and sending him staggering back. With a nod, Cassius lines up his target, and springboards in, going for a Funkensteiner… only for Gunnar to catch him and quickly bring him slamming down to the mat with a Snap Sitout Powerbomb! He holds on for the pinfall! ONE TW- Cassius gets the shoulder up. Pond: And that’s where Gunnar is truly dangerous. That MMA experience kicks in, his situational awareness goes into overdrive, and you get pieces of magic like that. As Cassius gets up, Gunnar’s already there, and before he can get his bearings Gunnar unloads with the Icelandic Storms, the repeated chops knocking Cassius back, for the big Muay Thai High Knee to bring him crashing down! Gunnar wastes no time in going for a second pin. ONE TWO TH- Cassius gets a foot on the rope! Minoru Asano: That’s Cassius’ boxing! Always know where ropes are to break up clinches! I don’t know how he can still be going! Clearly frustrated with Cassius’ kickouts Gunnar pulls him up, and forcefully slams him into the corner post, following the impact with a series of Knee Strikes to Cassius’ chest, pulling out of the corner as the referee gets to three, letting Reed drop to a seated position. As he does, Gunnar steps in, and pulls him back upright, guiding him back to the centre of the ring, delivering a Forearm to Cassius’ back… only to get a Hook from Reed for his trouble! He follows up with a second, and a third, which knocks Gunnar back a little, before Reed runs for the ropes… only to get taken out by a Rolling Koppu Kick from Gunnar! With Cassius out on the mat, Gunnar moves into a seated mount position, before laying into Cassius’ head with a series of Elbows, as Reed struggles to guard against the assault as best as he can. After a few strikes, he rolls back off of Cassius, grabbing his foot, and quickly applying a Spinning Toe Hold! Cassius instantly sits up in pain, trying to ease the agony. Pond: The Spinning Toe Hold! It’s an old move, but an effective one. Gunnar spins once! He spins twice! As he goes for a third spin, however, Cassius gets his other foot up, and kicks Gunnar solidly to the behind, forcing him off him, and stumbling forward. Gunnar quickly turns, and comes back, only for Cassius to do a Kip-Up… and hit a Huracanrana, driving Gunnar’s head into the mat! Minoru Asano: WHAT DA FUNK?! Cassius is up! He looks to Gunnar, on the mat. He looks to the top turnbuckle. He lifts his hand, doing a raise the roof motion, before sprinting up the ropes, leaping and spinning in the air, before rebounding off the top ropes with a Plan C! Pond: PLAN C HAS HIT THE PLAN C! Gunnar caught all of that massive Split-Legged Corkscrew Moonsault. Cassius holds on for the count! ONE TWO THREE!!! David Zinkus: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this bout… CASSIUS REED! Minoru Asano: Unbelievable. Gunnar dominated that match, dictated the flow for most of the time… Pond: But Cassius hit those high impact moves when they counted. As soon as he caught Gunnar completely off guard with that What Da Funk!, spiking his head into the mat, this thing was over. In the ring, Cassius is slowly stirring, the toil of the match clearly showing. Gunnar is also slowly getting up. Cassius, up first, lifts his arms, to a cheer for the crowd. Seeing Gunnar rising, he heads to the ropes, and making a sign to one of the technicians at ringside, he gets thrown two bottles of LAZERADE!, one purple, the other yellow. Minoru Asano: Those are the limited edition LAZERADE! flavors made especially for this match! Cassius Crush and Gunnar Grape! Pond: Thank you Obvious-san. Cassius, both bottles in hand, strolls over to the slowly rising Gunnar. As Gunnar gets up, Cassius smiles, and holds out the bottle of Gunnar Grape. Unsure, Gunnar hesitates. This just causes Cassius to smile even wider, and instead proffer the bottle of Cassius Crush. Gunnar eventually cracks a smile, taking the bottle, and opening it, as Cassius does the same with the grape. The two clink them like they’re sharing a toast, before both downing the bottles. Gunnar grabs Cassius’ free arm, and lifts it up high, the crowd roaring with the rare show of good sportsmanship. WINNER: CASSIUS REED
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