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Post by White Satan on Nov 23, 2015 12:48:37 GMT -6
"time to do something good for myself, time to do something good for my health."
For several years, since I first heard that song ("Bug Eyes" by Dredg, btw), it's long been something I've used to help my friends sort out themselves and what they need sometimes. It's not often I use it on myself. Then again, it's not often I handle a lot of things like this.
I've spent a lot of my life struggling with depression. It's an ugly affliction, and it's been something that makes you want to not get out of bed, do a bunch of things you love, and sometimes it makes you want to kill yourself.
And over the past few weeks, as I've struggled to reach a point of getting okay again, I've fucked up a lot of things. As a fedhead, as a friend, and as a boyfriend. My life is in a point of disarray that it hasn't been in a long time, and that says a lot since I dated someone with a fake kid that left me reeling.
The truth is I need to get better. I need to find a place in my life where I'm okay again. It's almost a sad reality that taking this break is really just sort of putting a band aid on a bullet wound. I'd like to think things are gonna be okay, but they're not going to be. I've been an asshole and not a very good friend, and this says a lot about the fact that I've told people in this fed that we operate as friends first and a fed second.
So what does this mean?
I can't close this place down. It means a lot to a lot of people. So I decided to do this. Me? I'm gonna stay in this game for a while. Gonna let Caleb have fun at the new place I just brought him, make some friends, and basically start writing for me again to have some fun. Carey and Shinji should still be around to some extent, because writing is cathartic for me. It's how I let out my depression, my anger, and sometimes my happiness. So I need that, and that's good for me.
But I need to step aside as the guy in charge of EXODUS right now. I'm sure there's a lot of people who would like to see this as a permanent move, and I'm sure that I'd make a lot of the world happy if I said I wasn't coming back. That, however....is not a promise I'm willing to make. There's a lot I need to sort in my life that's important to me, because it sucks to feel like you're losing a lot of things that matter to you. So the truth is I need to sort that out and once I'm sorted and my life is somewhere close to whatever normal amounts to, I'll make that decision. I'm not closing the fed, because our biggest show of the year is coming and I know that this fed means a lot to people. The reality is that I'm just tired. I'm tired of feeling lonely and like everything is going to collapse on me (until it does.)
So I'm going to go back and start having fun for myself now. I'm gonna write my heart out and I'm going to take it easy. If people want to find me, I'm not going to be hiding in a dark corner. I am, however, going to try to navigate some rough waters and man up. And hopefully I'll get back what it is I'm missing. And hopefully I won't lose some of the things I'm trying harder than ever to hold onto.
Effective immediately, Clint will be taking over for me. Please help him like you have me, if not more than you've helped me. Last night, I talked to Steve Cash, and I know he wants to come around in capacities he hasn't normally been here with us, and I told him I'd like that. I'm going to ask him to help out like he offered to help me.
So for now, on with the show.
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Post by jramsey on Nov 23, 2015 12:58:02 GMT -6
Hey everyone,
I like the amount we've already seen people step up to help get Autumn Effect 3 together and make it the great show we know it can be. Still need some help, including the main event writer, but we're on track.
That said, I need to start looking at where we're going after this show. So please, let me know either in this thread, via PM, DM, or Skype, whether you're going to be sticking around EXODUS and its associated feds after AE3.
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Post by #ChewySweettartsLife on Nov 23, 2015 16:35:24 GMT -6
I'm going to be as nice as possible about this, but that will probably go out the window pretty quickly. Let me preface this by saying that I feel no animosity towards you, Jon. None at all. But I've been aggravated for a while and at this point, I've reached the end of my rope. I keep quiet, I keep to myself because I don't want to rock the boat... Maybe I shouldn't have.
The fact is, there has been stormy waters brewing in EXODUS for quite some time and like it or not, they ALL tend to center around you. I honestly don't even know where to start, so let me just go off what I've been sitting on for a while and work my way up.
First of all, the mental health thing you're FINALLY deciding to take... HOW LONG AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO DO THIS BEFORE SHIT GOT UGLY??? You've come to me before about being tired, how running the fed takes its toll on you. And every time, I've told you to step away if you need to. That no one would fault you for it, that real life and your health comes first. People would have stepped up and helped keep EXODUS going.
And on that note, let me just say that for as much help as you get getting your shows put together, you sure have a funny way of showing your gratitude, people have bent over backwards to help you, but how often do you give more than last minute notice? That's what the format board is there for, but you seem to forget that it's there until show day. Then you're scrambling to put a show together, of course you. Then you whine that no one can help you, because oh hey, we have lives outside of here. If you would keep better track of your shows before the actual day of the show, you wouldn't be going crazy trying to get it together. And the fact that you have the nerve to say no one ever helps you... And don't you dare deny that you've said that, because MANY of us have heard you say it! And it's shit like that, that causes the discontent you feel around you.
Then there's your not so secret bias towards certain members of this roster. I think we all know who I'm talking about, but I won't name names for the sake of respect. But fucking aye God damn dude, seriously? I don't fault these people for it at all. This one is on you. It's been a long standing subject of discord and distress for your roster, yet you willingly turn a blind eye to it. Stop it. Just fucking stop it. You took yourself out from judging matches before because of these complaints, you should continue to do so. My very last match I judged, I had to grade quickly and all I put up were my scores. You obviously didn't like the way I chose, because for the first time EVER, you asked me for my breakdown and notes. How fucking dare you question my decisions. Just because I didn't pick who you wanted me to pick. Seriously, fuck off with that bullshit.
And then there's the other side of the coin. The way you treat people who AREN'T in your favor. The way you hold grudges, Jesus fuck it's fucking female like! I want you to know that whatever beef I had with Ben, I let it go a long time ago. Have we talked since then? No, we haven't. But I haven't talked about him, either. And the only times I did were when YOU brought it up and pulled me in to tell my story. Honestly, I've been over it for a long time. It was some silly shit that I had my part of the blame in. Truth is, I miss him sometimes. He's not a bad guy, he never was, but you made him out to be the next heir to Satan.
Then there's Paige... I'm sorry Ginger Princess, I don't mean to bring you in this directly, but you're my boo and this has been bothering me for a while.
What, exactly, is your problem with her? What's the REAL problem? Because despite what you thinks she's not always angry. She doesn't pick fights. And just because she goes against what's popular, that's wrong? Oh boo hoo, she doesn't follow the crowd. But you always kept your mouth shut before, I'll give you that.... Until she did something you really didn't like. Isn't that right? How pissed were you when you found out she'd been talking to Ben about taking HER character somewhere, a place where she might actually get properly. A place where she'll feel her work is appreciated instead of constantly being frustrated by all the effort put in just to lose... Consistently lose. I've been there and it's not a good feeling. It fucking sucks. Amd it's fucking natural to wanna look elsewhere.
The fact is, 95% of the efed community DOESN'T LIKE YOU. And that's a lot of people... And sadly, I don't think that number is exaggerated. You've made a lot of enemies and burned a lot of bridges because of how you get. You're argumentative, abrasive and everything ALWAYS HAS TO GO YOUR WAY! And as a fedhead, that's a bad look. People come here to write and have fun. But you have a habit of looking down your nose at people who aren't as good as YOU think they are or should be. You've pissed off a lot of people like this, and scared off potential new members because you've got a reputation and quite frankly? It was earned. You worked for it and you got it and that's why you have trouble recruiting anyone NEW, actually NEW and not someone who has already been here.
I'm sorry you're so stressed and depressed, but guess what? We all got problems. I'm depressed with anxiety and ADHD. Pete, JB and Paige have literally talked me off the ledge, more than once. And because I reached out, they helped me and I moved on.
The fact is, at this point in time, you're just not a good fedhead. You haven't been for some time, but the last few months have gotten progressively worse. People gotta walk on eggshells and talk in whispers around you. AND STOP TRYING TO PUT YOUR CHARACTERS OVER! I know you don't want to hear this, but Carey and Caleb? They gotta go. They just... They are awful. Carey is an annoying twat with zero relevancy and Caleb is just painfully bland. Why do you think I stepped back. I was running on E and my characters would have suffered for it. I completely support you wanting to write in order to vent, I do it myself. But you might want to reevaluate what you're doing with them.
At this point.,. I'm here to finish AE3. After that, I'm washing my hands of EXODUS. it's gotten to a low that I don't think you can climb back from. Morale has never been so low. It's true, EXODUS means a lot to us, including me. But honestly... Maybe you should just step away as a Fedhead and go back to being an active competitor. Because you're just not right for the job. People have a lack of faith in your ability to run this place efficiently and fairly. You still have friends. I'm asking you to take a good, long step back to think about this game, the friends you've made in it and what's best for you if you want to keep said friends.
That is all.
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Post by LAZERADE! on Nov 23, 2015 17:39:11 GMT -6
...
I'm not sure what to say here.
I'm not sure what I should say, or even want to say.
Let me start with this. When I arrived in EXODUS, it was more or less alone. Sure, there were one or two other THW refugees, but for the most part they weren't really people I got on with. Save Nick, because Nick.
And, to be fair, for quite a while I resisted getting involved in the community. THW had hurt, and I just wanted somewhere to write. Save people like Nick & TK, I had very little interest in opening myself up to a social group again.
Well, that didn't last long. And look where I am now. I have friends here I would consider closer than members of my family. People I love and cherish, who I genuinely care for. Because that's what this place has become for me. Not a fed. Not even a community. But a family.
That's why I took it so hard, when my family was threatened. I really didn't take it well. I begun suffering from stress, insomnia, and various other issues. It was then I realised that this place was so much more to me than just somewhere I could come and write.
It was somewhere I could come and be.
It pains me to say this, because my memories of here are very dear to me. But, increasingly, they're more and more becoming that: memories. And I just can't keep it going any more.
Regardless of the fate of EXODUS, Autumn Effect 3 will be my last EXODUS show.
But it will not be the end of my family. I won't accept it.
I have ideas, plans I'm working on. When I've consolidated more, I'll start talking things about them. All I want to say, is that I'm working to keep us together as much as I can.
Oh, and for those interested, HELL will continue, in some way or other. I will do my best to continue it uninterrupted. There's a story there to be told, and I will tell it.
And, yeah. I think that's it.
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Post by That guy... on Nov 23, 2015 18:05:35 GMT -6
Ironic how this guy quits a fed because we didnt do things HIS WAY, then tells us "this is how the game is played now". Nice to see his own fed members can see through the bullshit just as much as we did.
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Post by HALE BLACK SATIN on Nov 23, 2015 18:11:33 GMT -6
Ironic how this guy quits a fed because we didnt do things HIS WAY, then tells us "this is how the game is played now". Nice to see his own fed members can see through the bullshit just as much as we did. Not sure why this post is here from a "Incognito" but yeah...this ain't the time and place for this. In other words... ...get that shit outta here.
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Nov 23, 2015 18:12:04 GMT -6
No, no, you guys are still assholes too.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2015 22:14:05 GMT -6
I'm going to throw in my two cents because...well because reasons.
You know if I had a nickel for how many times Jon told me to come to EXODUS before I joined up, I would have a shitload of nickels. I felt bad to Jon for showing up last year for the Honor Cup and completely dropping the ball (granted that was because of reasons FAR beyond my control). When finally I grew bored of FGA and Jon gave me a good reason for joining up, I caved.
I never realized how much you guys would help me in ticking every single day. This was honestly the first year where I could recall not giving a fuck about whether winning mattered, as long as we told a good story (FGA rarely did that for me, except a couple feuds) and this place really helped me stick around in the game. I knew it was my last hurrah regardless, but I wanted to go out swinging. And you all have given me that ability.
Now granted I haven't been around much lately either. Like Jon, I've been battling my own demons and battling the reality that I have to deal with every day. But I wake up. I wake up every single day and think to myself "Alright...another day is here." I have no fucking clue how that helps but I guess it does.
Is it still my last hurrah if EXODUS does close? Probably. But I'm still going out swinging. And if we are still going to be around, I'll be glad to help and I'll be glad to yell kicking and screaming at everybody. As long as we know that you're getting better. I know I ignore you a little, Jon...but I will always respond eventually. Because you are like a brother to me, man. Most of you are like family to me as well.
Except you, that guy in the corner, Jewish Batman, and that singer who hates singing folk renditions of his songs.
And hey. There's always...
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Post by HALE BLACK SATIN on Nov 24, 2015 10:53:46 GMT -6
So I've been sitting here staring at this post trying to make heads or tails of things and figure out where I wanted to go and how I wanted to go about doing it. And after reading Pete's post, I figured I go about this the most diplomatic way I possible can. But I came into this game to have fun and keep that spark of creativity that keeps me moving along and coming into Exodus I found the following things.
- The creation and rise to Aries Reed, one of my favorite characters and to watch how everyone reacts to him, to see the spawning of Cassius, Darius, Bianca, Frankling...and so many more down the line makes me smile because everyone took to Aries so well as a character. He's my proudest moment in Exodus.
- The rebirth of Justin Brooks, for the longest time I was wondering what I was gonna do with him because he was the longest character I've ever written for and from I've watched him grow and mature into something I never saw coming.
- The friendships...oh my God the friendships, I consider you my family and you all know that I'll go to bat and fight for any single one of you.
...but with that, I had to look at the other side of the coin.
- I'm tired...and frustrated. I've been writing matches first as a way to get the show up on time and do my part. But honestly, I feel as if I've leaned on a crutch only for things still not to get done and still not on time. Writing 3-4 matches a pop because I know it's the only way it'll get done. Writing 2 more matches after the fact because someone backed out at the last minute...and the show still ain't up in time. That frustation has been building and building and building...even still with AE3 coming down the pipe, I know I got other matches ultimately I'm going to have to write. Only to get word that "I still need help..." or "I wish people would help me more..." really get me going because I'm not even on the goddamn staff and I'm writing/judging
- I'm bored. I used to enjoy looking for Exodus results, like I used to mark out because I was excired to see what happened. Then I started to write a match here and there...then I started writing 50 of the match...then more and more and more. Before it was all said and done, I knew what the fuck was going on before it was post. It ruined the experience...it ruined the fun. The last bit of actually fun was with Paige for Brooks/Savannah...before then, I couldn't tell you.
- Lack of new blood...and I don't mean guys who left and came back. The last few times we got -new- people they end up getting crushed/squashed only to have guys no-show CONSTANTLY and still put on a better show. I try to put this place out there but no one is biting because the secret is out and honestly no one wants to show up when they know what's going to happen to them...they are going to get eaten alive first time out.
And with that, after AE3...JB is gone.
It ain't personal...and if its gets taken that way, well...that's a you problem, not a me problem. I'm going to put Aries somewhere new where I can start with a clean slate. I'll probably retire Brooks because I'm running on empty and all the smaller characters of mine will basically fade because outside of RW, they aren't that fleshed out yet to actually survive anywhere.
I love every single one of you but it's time to do some Man shit.
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Post by The Cosplay Playboy on Nov 24, 2015 15:27:09 GMT -6
Ironic how this guy quits a fed because we didnt do things HIS WAY, then tells us "this is how the game is played now". Nice to see his own fed members can see through the bullshit just as much as we did. Nah, you're all literally still full of shit and should have remained in the late 1990's where you belonged, by the way. Fuck you. As for me, things are simple...I'm seeing my particular program with Strike as planned (whether we decide to do that at AE3 or go a few weeks longer and do it, cool) and from there, I'm on my way out as I discussed with staff as far back as the week before Welcome Oblivion. That's all I got for it, really. End of the day, I'm thankful for the time spent here and the friends I've gotten out of this place but yeah, I feel this is for the best for me.
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Post by THE MANLIEST MAN ON THE PLANET on Nov 25, 2015 14:13:32 GMT -6
I suppose that it's only right for myself to respond to this as well. I could go on a rant, but after the past few days I'm too tired for anything, so I'll hold back a bit.
There is a hell of a lot of points that have been brought up that I agree with. An awful lot has been horribly mismanaged, with personal feelings towards other people's characters and handlers having such a negative effect. I remember when I left GDW, I left due to two factors:
1. The insistence of one of the fedhead's pushing their characters over all others, both in general booking and, especially, for titles.
2. Staff attempting to bury characters and derail booking ideas.
Everyone knows of these facts, and I was promised that this would never happen in EXODUS. That promise was broken.
I feel a lot of lines between IC and OOC have been broken over the past few months. I always keep comments as characters as IC, though sometimes it seems some people do take them the other way, or direct OOC gripes in return. Many of these have been confirmed.
I remember a few months ago, it got to the stage were you practically threatened to close EXODUS due to the fact you believed people did not like your new characters, and you were incredibly upset over the matter. In return, it seems that you have made a large number of the group know that you do not like their characters, my own included. I have heard you bashing people's creations numerous times on call, my own included, even to the point of bashing handlers in your own anger.
I did quit several months ago over numerous matters, as everyone knows and I'm not going to go into them again. When I returned you requested that I break my usual secrecy over my own personal storylines and let you know whatever I was planning. I told you on the condition that it would be between myself and you (with one or two exceptions). Instead, I found you referencing storyline plans and ideas on twitter and calls that you had sworn to secrecy, to the point that other handlers had found out full details. On one call you even spilled an entire storyline to three other people, spoiling the idea entirely, and complaining about how you thought it would go, even though the story did not involve any of your characters. The effect that had on my creativity was not positive in the slightest.
I feel that you stepping down as a fedhead is what is best for you Jon, both creatively, for the fed itself and your own health and well being. Not only that, but for your relationships with everyone here. You need to kick back, relax, and take care of yourself. The frustrations you have had you have vented out on other people, which really isn't fair, to us and to you.
I had actually decided to leave EXODUS quite awhile ago, with AE3 being my final date. Only one other person knew of this fact and they have not even commented on this thread, and my decision has not changed. EXODUS just hasn't been fun anymore. I've loved my time here as a writer, and made friends for life. It's had a good run, no doubt about that.
Look, I'm ill myself at the moment and my kids aren't well either, thus my delay in this response. It's not as detailed as it could be, but my views stand. After AE3 I'm having nothing more to do with EXODUS. And I hope that everything gets sorted out between everyone personally at some point in the future.
Now excuse me, I'm going to go find some tits.
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Nov 25, 2015 17:42:14 GMT -6
well Las basically called me out, sooooo. Yeah, I was the one who knew Lasie was quitting after AE3. And at the time, and still now, I don't blame him. Or anyone else here, all of their reasons are so valid, and I share a lot of them.
For me, it just comes down to I've felt all my motivation to write getting stabbed out of me slowly over time. Running RW, a fucking nightmare essentially, has left me waking up on show days ready for a day full of stress, getting angry at myself, and just wanting to quit. Which I've done, actually, since I'm not running the place after AE3. That, combined with so many disagreements, stupid shit happening, and just the feeling that I'm not having fun anymore, I have lost the motivation to write. And I think now the only way to get it back is to step the hell away from here. I know I'm one of the main focuses of this storyline, and I'll do my absolute best to see that out, but beyond that this is it. It's a good run, love the people I've met, but I want to enjoy my hobby.
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styg
Rising Star
Such as like this here.
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Post by styg on Nov 26, 2015 5:32:44 GMT -6
I think I should address my final roleplay here for Laurel. The one in which she sent Jonathan Collins a letter saying she no longer trusted him to run EXODUS properly and was quitting. ...yeah. To be clear: that letter was meant as Laurel Yunokawa talking to Jonathan Collins. It was not meant to be me, Sam/styg, talking to Jonathan McMahon. But each of our characters has a little of us in them somewhere, right? It wasn't meant to be a shoot, or an attack on Jon as a person, or anything of that nature. But it's evident that the IC events involved had roots in OOC issues, some of which I was aware of when I wrote that piece, some of which I was not. That piece was less OOC-influenced than one might imagine given that it read like basically exactly this thread, but I can't claim it wasn't at all OOC influenced. I wanted it to be clear that Laurel was quitting EXODUS, not styg. I'm pretty sure I failed in that, despite Evangelista being set to join (R)evo staff, and the fact I'm helping Pete run HELL. I've been essentially invisible lately. But that's for the same reason as why Laurel quit IC: I'm burned out as fuck on roleplaying. Laurel's departure had actually been discussed for some time and was always about my own burnout rather than anything to do with EXODUS specifically; those who are with me on other feds may know that I'm also on extended LOA from GCW currently, that this week is the first time I've been booked in FGA in close to two months, and that I've had my SSWA wrestlers temporarily written offscreen. What absolutely was OOC-fuelled on my part in that roleplay was an expression that while EXODUS at its best is one of the most inventive feds going and has the kind of deep, complex character interactions I love, it's also just as often an incredibly frustrating place to tell stories. Throughout the Gods & Monsters arc I felt like everything important had already been set in stone way in advance and that we as the handlers didn't really have any capacity to influence things on any halfway important level. Wins and losses - and I'm talking about in general, not just my own matches - seemed dictated more by plot requirements than roleplays. I know for a fact at least one other handler here feels the same way because s/he and I have discussed it. I have to back up JB on the new handlers thing btw. When Wicked J joined it could hardly have been clearer that he wasn't really welcome. I'm a firm believer in communication and I feel like a dick for keeping my mouth shut about all this; shameful as this is... basically... I felt like it wasn't my place. I truthfully don't feel like part of the EXODUS family, having not been able to participate in the Skype chats often and - until Pete approached me about STORM - a feeling that no matter what I did, my characters would ultimately remain peripheral figures. I like all you guys and have a blast roleplaying with you, but I only really know a handful of you. Hopefully, however we move forward, that will change. Jon, I know we didn't always get on, but we buried that a long, long time ago now. I like you and I want you to be happy. I know how hard depression is. I struggle with it myself. I want to be able to help you. But it seems apparent now that - as I guess I knew when I wrote that Laurel piece, but didn't consciously want to put a name to - EXODUS has become as much a weight around your neck, if not more, than it is an outlet for you. This place is fucking you up and that's feeding back into the fed, and it's a vicious cycle. One last thing re: Benny. If you really have fallen out with Paige partly over the fact she's friends with him, as Heather seemed to imply (I admit I know very little of the situation), that's depressing. Benny's a very close friend of mine, one of the closest I've ever made in fedding and honestly: no, he doesn't like you one bit. But he doesn't care if you have mutual friends. I haven't known him bitch about you or take swipes at you either in private or public. And the one time I saw someone address you both at the same time on Twitter, rather than make a scene he just politely requested he be untagged from the conversation. I can promise you that, however much he dislikes you, he does not hold any kind of malicious vendetta against you. And if you learn to drop this kind of shit I'm really sure you'll ultimately feel better for it. Hell, I made up with Glenn friggin' Legend last year, and you know how the problems he and I had. Holding onto grudges is rarely productive at the best of times, but even moreso when they're as one-sided as this.
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Post by The Bigger Blacker Jones on Nov 26, 2015 12:12:18 GMT -6
First off, I want to say I never liked any of you people, and I hate you all equally. <.< Now that those pleasantries are out of the way. I don't know what two cents to put in here. I don't want to shit on anyone because I haven't necessarily been wronged or rubbed the wrong way like some of you may have been, or I just don't really care because that's the type of human being I am and this is a game and not real life but whatever, since we’re all airing grievances I'll do it too because I have a few. <.< The biggest problem with EXODUS was our strength: we always had a main fed wide angle. The issue, is that we never developed the undercard, or any underlying storylines. Even when we HAD a midcard we never looked to cultivate it because it was always overshadowed by LEGION or something. As it's been mentioned, things often already felt preordained - and i'm not necessarily speaking in regards to my own characters (obviously I've been the main focus of many of these angles), but there were a NUMBER of times where I felt matches should have gone MUCH differently IMO but the results did not show because that would've altered the storylines at the time, or judges were protecting another handler’s ego (and I'm not saying the latter is factual or not, but I'm just saying.) Personally for me, I didn't always appreciate having to disclose every idea I had to the community - mainly because I enjoy shock value, and I'm a control freak, and feel like ONLY involved parties need to know what I have planned for my OWN characters. I don't appreciate always being told what my angle or gimmick should be. But I'm not here to pick a fight or throw salt on any wounds. Another thing I'll say, is that with the angles we were running - I feel like overtime EXODUS became extremely Collins-centric, like the entire company is one BIG Collins family drama, and while some of us have no problem with that, I can see how others could have been a little annoyed, because strictly taking an outside POV, it's like you can't RP here unless your character is involved with a Collins, or in the main angle in SOME capacity, otherwise there's no direction for you if that makes sense. From a match-writing standpoint, I will not complain because I’m GOATWRITER. But JB I feel you bro, I FEEL YOU! What started as me looking forward to writing has turned into a CHORE, and it started to feel like I was EXPECTED to contribute in that aspect, but again I'm not going to bitch and moan about that because again GOATWRITER. But as a side note: I still kinda want to do THAT thing, because it is a GAME CHANGER and since it won't be done in EXODUS considering the current state of affairs, if you still want to run that let me know and we’ll move accordingly wherever you decide to take Aries and I’ll work on writing Black out of storylines over here. So that brings me to my two characters now: I never really got the ball rolling with Jones (my own fault), and when Salaryman was forced to unmask prematurely that kinda ruined things for me because that wasn't supposed to happen, especially not so soon (as I was lead to believe), because that ruined Hot Sauce & Ramen for me and then when Sean went MIA for IRL reasons (I still love you Sean) and the Tag Division died, that kinda killed all my motivation to RP as Jones. As far as Furor is concerned. Following AE3, I'll do what's needed to plug any storyline holes, and finish whatever commitments I've made, but seeing as most of the loose ends will be tied up at AE3 and the people I've enjoyed working with are all bowing out, I probably will be as well (though, I'm pretty much semi-retired for all intents and purposes already due to work/being a broke aspiring underground artist/and not really having interest in the game like I once did). On a much lighter note: This is the best fed I've been apart of. I've been in this game for over a decade now. EXODUS is my fourth fed. For the most part, I've enjoyed my time here. I had my best matches and my best rivalries here. At our peak, this was no doubt the place to be. And I base that off of Furor vs Fiona. Torrie and I were definitely blazing trails and IMO were the best in the game at that point and what we accomplished in those storylines in 2012-13 is unforgettable to me and she can NEVER do any wrong to me, and I will CAPE for that woman in a heartbeat. Working with Sam and Paige in G&M is the most fun I've ever had in this game. That entire angle was epic. Best heel stable I've ever seen in fedding, and the best angle we ran here. My biggest regrets: 1) I never beat Las. So fuck you, Las. 2) Mike and I never got to run that program when he was a FACE, because that angle was ruined by EXODUS pissing on Lifer his entire face run, and that would've been a great match. There was a time where I refreshed the boards all the time because I was eager to see what was going on, who was posting. I haven't done that in a LONG time. I've no showed TOO many matches lately, and I HATE fucking no-showing. That's how I know I'm no longer invested in things or having fun anymore with not only EXODUS but the entire game itself. So yeah, I'm pretty much done now. It's been real. When I blow up, one day you’ll all see me on tv and get to say you RPed against me (hopefully). Peace. - Allen
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PANTHRO
Rising Star
CAN'T SEE SHIT, CAPTAIN.
Posts: 149
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Post by PANTHRO on Nov 26, 2015 23:23:49 GMT -6
I don't know what the fuck is going on? But honestly, when it comes down to it. Jon, you have been a friend to me, and you've offered a lot of shit towards me. Like I'm not ungrateful at all when I say thanks, I guess. However, there's something I've needed to get off my chest since I left a few months ago:
I joined EXODUS when you messaged me after REVIVAL closed down. Didn't know who you were then, all I knew was that you were giving me a new place to go to. So, a new character, a brand new start, and I come with The Big L. I wanted to make a babyface, I wanted to try and get his story across, I wanted to make him something personal because the character was an extension of myself. I loved that character...a lot...because outside of Jimmy Page, he BRINGS out HAPPINESS inside of me because it felt good to write with him.
It felt good to hear people say they felt something from my work. That to me is the biggest compliment you can give me as a writer. And I felt like...every time I was given this opportunity and granted people here are fuckin' tops when it's Primetime man, no fuckin' doubt. But those instances like when me and Pete were tag team champs and we had no RIVALS and you kept throwing up to The Turks and you dropped the belts on us and gave us no feuds outside of the fed wide storyline which for a good two years was the CENTRIC plot of EXODUS in ALL man.
Remember Spiro? Spiro's a hard workin' fuckin' guy. Hardest working dude most likely my age and people on Twitter will tell you when he brought his characters and was damn near jobbed...? It crushed him. Spiro's a proud fuckin' dude man and I respect the guy because he does more for most of the things running right now than I EVER will. And when I CAME to Spiro when he felt he was on his way out, after getting ONE MAJOR PUSH here and then falling flat for whatever reason, he was defeated. Because he felt like NOTHING he could do was ever good enough. And even then some of his work...? Good. Good writer, good enough in FGA, good enough in HKW, and he was good enough HERE.
And yet for some reason, he was singled out and he was berated, and that irks me. Even in calls, it irked me because SPIRO was a good guy who didn't deserve to be shat upon. And it was all in the expense of an ANGLE where you and others you liked were the centerpiece around it. And the angles I was apart of specifically, I knew I was getting shoved to the back. When you dropped the belts on Pete and I TWICE I knew, this is where I'm going to stay, I'm not going anywhere else. You clearly didn't have anything for me or Pete.
So, writing with Big L wasn't fun anymore. I thought I could fight through it, and I thought it was ME...personally. And when you start thinking maybe you're not doing enough? You get disheartened. I honestly was going to bring Lenton back through FGA's interfed wrestling show awhile back. And now that I've got responsibilities and now that I don't know where to bring this character, it's not worth it anymore. Because as inspiring as Lenton may have been to some people here--and those who told me so, THANK YOU for making him what he was here in EXODUS that's awesome--I felt like sometimes you didn't mean it.
Sometimes I felt like you liked to be a slickster about things. Just now you wanted me to bring Jimmy Page here to feud with Carey. You had Lenton appear to make a save, with no build up at all, didn't feel special, and then told me nothing as to what we could do from here. It took you awhile to come to me about shit. EXODUS could've been more if you broadened your horizons and didn't scare most people off. Because I thought of you as a FRIEND...I thought people had you WRONG...I've defended you a lot when people said that you were kind of controlling and shady.
But you're ONE FRIEND. And you've hurt others who I consider my FRIENDS Jon. So, at this point right now, if you are resigning, I don't think I wanna be apart of something that you sunk through your need to be the focal point of attention. It's on you, because you were the captain of this ship, you said you were going to retire, you made people think KYLE was insane, when Kyle--who I feel bad for still--did nothing to deserve your ire. Paige didn't deserve it, ADRIEN sure as fuck didn't deserve it and what I've learned not too recently makes me ten times as angry posting this up.
So I offically am cutting my ties with EXODUS. Not the people here who were a positive influence on me and the building of my character as a whole, but this place all together.
...
So there.
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