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Post by LAZERADE! on May 13, 2013 15:22:51 GMT -6
New character (or is it... DUN DUN DUN). New RP style (also trying to adapt to the style preferred here. Comments welcome (I know my TT needs development).
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Post by Dan Stein on May 13, 2013 15:42:05 GMT -6
I had a lot of fun reading your RP from a comedy standpoint. I enjoyed the bit with the mask and how he took it off to reveal who he truly was (no spoilers). Pretty funny stuff. GRENDEL seems very ADHD on camera and that could be very fun to see. I think if you slowed down and fleshed the CD stuff out longer it'd be a lot more entertaining in the sense that it would captivate us deeper and get us further into the character.
My style is still meshing too and while you did a good job of describing the characters you are facing (Adrien Cochrane, for instance), you didn't make me feel like they have a shot against GRENDEL. I think if you spent as much time SELLING the opponents as you did talking about their characters, that'd help your character feel stronger.
Hope I don't step on toes and speak out of place.
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Post by LAZERADE! on May 13, 2013 15:47:01 GMT -6
No that sounds good, and I think I get what you mean, in terms of relating what I'm saying about opponents back to my character. That's certainly something for me to work on. Cheers.
And personally I have a very CD dominant writing style, which I was trying to balance out here (using the marking sheet as a kind of guideline). Maybe I pulled it back to much. Again, a good point for me to work on. Cheers.
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Post by BLAKE JONES on May 13, 2013 17:12:17 GMT -6
Are you the same Vinny from FGA?
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Post by LAZERADE! on May 14, 2013 1:30:57 GMT -6
I'm sorry, but I don't even know what an FGA is. Freerunning Golf Assosciation?
Actually, that sounds pretty cool. I wanna play a parkour/golf hybrid.
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