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Post by Nicholas Gray on Aug 9, 2013 19:43:30 GMT -6
Pete is taking M-Dogg 20, and will explain his numerous reasons why when he's actually awake and not relaying them through me.
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Post by The Last Magician on Aug 9, 2013 20:16:07 GMT -6
I think it's my pick. In that case, for the developmental round, I'll take David Otunga.
He can handle our legal matters.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2013 20:35:47 GMT -6
It's however currently my pick in this round. I'm gonna have to take a former ROH World Champion, former PWG World Champion, and one of the top all-around workers (both in-ring and on the microphone) available in the world today, Mr. Wrestling himself, Kevin Steen!
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Post by LAZERADE! on Aug 10, 2013 2:09:12 GMT -6
Why'd I pick M-Dogg? Not sure really. Maybe its because he's a brave, innovative individual who's never quite broke big. Maybe its because he let himself get thrown out of Tough Enough rather than come across a know all arsehole. Maybe its because I'm about 5 years out of date with who's hot and who's not on the indy scene. I think mostly, however, its because he's (from the most recent shots I've seen) packing a beard so savage it looks like it ate D-Bry's.
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Post by THE MANLIEST MAN ON THE PLANET on Aug 10, 2013 12:11:06 GMT -6
For this round, I'm going to pick another man with an AWESOME MOUSTACHE!!!
This man has the potential and gimmick to be a great heel character. With just the right tweaking on his in ring abilty and microphone skills and he could turn into a future IC or US champion. I will admit to being a fan of this guy, and it shocked me to hear that he had been released from TNA.
It's time to bring sleazy back...
JOEY RYAN!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2013 13:23:25 GMT -6
I think, actually, since we're at 16 hours after my pick (and over 8 since Lasie's time would've expired), that Nick's time has come once again!
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Aug 10, 2013 15:04:05 GMT -6
This one's easy. Let's just go point by point why my pick would be the best signing by any of those three companies (except Impact, no one should go there)
He's got the SKILLS. Holy shit you want to talk wrestling ability then sit your bitch ass down and let's talk about what he can do. But first,
-He got them CREDENTIALS
You know where he wrestled when he debuted? WAR and BattlARTs. I know you've read Jericho's books, they're fucking amazing, you know what WAR is. WAR was old grumpy guys hitting each other hard. BattleARTs was the same but with stretching. And he went in as a rookie and SUCCEEDED there? Oh shit look out we got a bad ass coming through, and he's gonna make your bitch life mean something. That something is "pain." And how's he gonna do it?
-STRIKES
Oh man you like your wrestlers to hit things? Well aren't you lucky, he hits shit HARD. Kicks? He's got kicks. Head kicks, body kicks, rib kicks, side kicks, shin kicks, thigh kicks, more head kicks, HE WILL KICK YOUR FACE OFF AND BEFORE YOU EVEN REALIZE IT'S GONE, KICKED IT BACK ONTO YOUR ASS.
-TECHNICAL SHIT
Now you want something with more meat to it? GOOD FOR YOU, HE CAN PROVIDE. He has more ways of taking you down to the mat than prostitutes have STDs. He'll kick you in the skull, grab your candy ass, throw you backwards onto your skull, kick you in the skull again, and then spin you around and start yanking a body part out of said weak little ladyboy body. OH YEAH THAT REMINDS ME.
-STRETCHING YOUR BITCH ASS
Now you're on the mat and shit ain't getting any easier for you, because now he's breaking something. None of this fancy "ooh I want it to look good while I do this look at all these flips I can work into a fucking armbar" shit, he's just going to grab your ankle, wrench that shit until you squeal like a pig, and then kick you in the head. Again. Because fuck you, that's why.
-OH FUCK YOUR LIFE HE CAN FLY TOO.
Yeah you heard me, not only can he wreck your life while he's standing, but he can still flip his body around when he's gotta. Despite his age, he'll still fly over those ropes and into you, your bitchass stable friends, and random fans in the crowd. Then he'll kick the lot of you again. Because you deserve it. Not only that, but he'll even combine that athletic shit with those strikes of his (I gave that bitch a Sankakugeri, bitches love Sankakugeri's)
-The fuck was that about "despite his age"?
You heard me, he's 43. And before you start your whining, you better realize he's in better shape than you're ever gonna be, Juliet. Signs of aging? He ain't never heard of that shit. Anti-aging, you little punkass, look it up. Oh you're too lazy, well aren't you fortunate that I'm in a good mood. Anti-aging is taking the idea that when you age you deteriorate and giving it a kick to the skull. And then you get another one too. Because you're as big a bitch as aging is, and as full of shit too. He might be 43, but he's not showing it all, performing just as well as he did when he was a lad. Because he's a man, unlike you.
-Oh my God he can sing too
Yeah that's right, he does his own theme song too. And it's fucking beautiful, unlike those dying bird screechings you do. Because he just wasn't content emasculating you with his skills, he decided to do it with his voice too.
So in conclusion, if anyone thinks he's not the perfect free agent for any promotion, then you know what's gonna happen.
(Hint: They're gonna get kicked in the head.
Just like you, since you needed a fucking hint, you anus waste.)
By the way, in case you can't recognize, I'm taking Masaaki Mochizuki.
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Post by Adrien Cochrane on Aug 10, 2013 15:50:12 GMT -6
How about a bright, young star who could, if signed by a major company, could become the future of the company? I present to you, a young 26 year old wrestler who has won the Ring of Honor Survival of the Fittest tournament. Though he's never held any major titles, he's gotten some tag team titles and has put on a Wrestling Observer 5 star match. With the right push and booking, this man is someone work banking a future with. Give it up for Michael Elgin!
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Post by LAZERADE! on Aug 11, 2013 1:19:59 GMT -6
If people haven't noticed, we're over 8 hours now. Jon to play, Sally playing whenever, blahblahblah.
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Post by EXODUS Office on Aug 11, 2013 1:38:15 GMT -6
Jon's asleep, so yeah.
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Post by The Last Magician on Aug 11, 2013 3:26:07 GMT -6
Here we go. A great up-and-comer that will one day dominate a company somewhere, somehow? PWG is the up-and-coming company that just puts on genuinely entertaining shows. There's laughs, sure, but there is a heck of a lot of talent there. Skill galore. And one of the youngest and best commodities that is just a few seasons away from his prime is Willie Mack. In the non-mainstream feds, Mack has it made - the physique, the look, and the mic abilities to get people into the building and get the tickets sold. He's already won a handful of singles titles - now it's time to win some more.
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Post by White Satan on Aug 11, 2013 8:50:49 GMT -6
He's got the stuff that makes guys like HBK, Jericho, and CM Punk stand out, despite size.
He's got skill that not many wrestlers in the WWE or the independent circuit could muster.
He's also got the longest reigning title reign in the US right now.
On top of that, I've got him on my PS3 buddy list.
Johnny Gargano.
Here's your next round, by the way.
Draft me your ultimate comedy match. Tell me why it's going to be hilarious.
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Post by White Satan on Aug 11, 2013 23:02:45 GMT -6
The winner to the developmental round? Pete. Pete, you can lock one of your own picks in place.
And the answer to my comedy match round? I'm going to dig up some old favorites for this one. Who is one of the funniest wrestlers on the planet? Brad Maddox. If I need to explain, you're deaf and dumb. So he needs someone equally as funny.
And equally as charming.
So his opponent? It's a man from THE TOKYO FUJI TELEVISION NETWORK.
So it's simple. Brad Maddox will be meeting Hollywood Stalker Ichikawa.
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Post by LAZERADE! on Aug 12, 2013 10:55:54 GMT -6
To point out, 8 hours up. Nick can play. Heather and Sally still to play this round.
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Post by Nicholas Gray on Aug 12, 2013 13:43:28 GMT -6
The best comedy match? Easy.
First, let's take Kzy. He doesn't have an easy life. He thinks he's a white guy who thinks he's a black rapper, he has a big mouth, and has a habit of running into the fist of...well, everyone else on the roster. But hey, every roster needs a dependable guy willing to run into fists every day of his life. And Kzy is very good at this role.
So who else to go against him but his American counterpart? It's Slater time, baby. Yes, Heath Slater. Heath and Kzy have enough similarities. They both think themselves musicians, they both have mouths too big for their actions, and they both end up running into fists when they open said mouths. And like Kzy, Slater is extremely dependable in his role, able to twist his body around when hit to make any opponent's offense look like it just murdered him, went back in time, and then murdered him again and when given a mic making the crowd want to see that happen. They're both jobbers, but with their skill at it they've got jobs for life.
So what happens when you put two jobbers against one another? Will they just shut down once there's no bigger fists to run into? Or will they just try to combine their rock and rap into something new (and then getting inexplicably squashed by Fred Durtz)? Well obviously we're gonna find out.
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