Post by EXODUS Office on Dec 11, 2013 23:08:16 GMT -6
THE RED COMET PRESENTS…
EXODUS PRO MUSIC RANKINGS GALORE
(Part 1)
Greetings.
Those of you who might not be familiar with me, my name’s Leander Apollo – been wrestling across the globe for nearly six years now, currently over in Platinum Dynasty Wrestling (whatever drama or beef between Banks and you all aside, I don’t got any beef personally and therefore, yeah, disclaimer made) and if there’s something that I do enjoy during my spare time is music. I could go at it for hours with just grabbing the theme songs from the entire roster of a company, making a playlist, pressing play and going at it. In fact, during my time about a year and a half ago as a commentator for an all-female wrestling company (who shall not be named here), I ended doing two of these columns where I took theme songs, ranked them under my own personal opinion on the type of music, whether it fits the actual person coming out to it or not (I’ve watched a few shows, so as to get a basic idea) and we go from there.
So, that said...this, right here, is my disclaimer: all of the content in these rankings are solely that of Leander Apollo’s personal & musical tastes (which are, by no means, for everyone – I’m dead serious, if I had a dime for every time this argument broke out, I’d have some sweet savings in the bank right now on top of what I do already put in) and not that of EXODUS Pro, its owners, management, staff, etc.
That said…I hope you have fun reading through this. The list is keeping in mind everybody that’s currently signed within your roster (including those who haven’t debuted yet, 50 themes in total including tag teams), prior to your EXPRO #8 show. Let me go on record and also say that there’s no clear “holy shit, this deserves to be dead last” song either…but I’m doing from least favorites to personal favorites. Now…for anyone that still feels overly salty about this one after reading through it all, you can find me at @coderedcomet on the Twitter machine. Y’know, if your jimmies REAAAAAAAAALLY are that rustled. Or if I missed something…like a theme song.
THE RANKINGS
50. Aria Dior – “Looks Are Everything” by Twirl
So this earns my infamous “Amuro Ray is a White Devil with an Afro” award for lowest ranking song of these rankings. Why? It starts off well, then it kinda crashes and burns as awkwardly as the person who walked out to this on that preliminary for the Honor Cup you EXODUS folk are currently running.
49. Wulf Erikssen – “Barroom Hero” by Dropkick Murphys
As I mentioned, this is starting with my own personal least favorites. I get Wulf’s a man of the people, one-half of the EXODUS Pro World Tag Team champs and probably can drink with the best of them. However, I personally detest anything that the Dropkick Murphys have ever done…
48. Jerry Matthews – “Long Black Train” by Josh Turner
………………………………I now understand why people boo this man so much (outside of the whole “preacher, preacher” deal he’s got going on plus that ridiculous head of hair).
47. Sam Johnson – “Hustler's Ambition” by 50 Cent
It’s not “In Da Club” or “Candy Shop.” Therefore, it has absolutely no use to me whatsoever and to me, just doesn’t go all that well as a theme…also, being from New York doesn’t exactly make you a hustler.
46. Cthulhu Jones – “Apocalypse Now” by Transplants
Decent riff, but nothing too special to it. Enough to rank above some songs, but not enough to go any further.
45. Steve Lenton – “Aww Nah (Remix)” by Nappy Roots ft. POD
The Big L may be the most inspirational man in professional wrestling today and somebody with whom I’d love to go up against somebody…but seriously, man? You and Wulf nailed the tag team part of your themes okay, but to me, the both of you are in TROUBLE when it comes to the singles stuff.
44. Anna Molly – “Anna Molly” by Incubus
The girl named Anna Molly walks out to a song named Anna Molly…and really, that’s about as much novelty as you’re going to get out of this ranking.
43. Braxton Bennett – “Evil Ways” by Blues Saraceno
Again, it’s one of those where I like the riff and the chorus, but everything else falls a little flat on its face for me. Plus, this theme seems almost TOO phenomenal for this guy. Just almost.
42. Gabriel Gambino - “Papercut (Instrumental)” by Linkin Park
You can be a Godfather of Wrestling, you can be one of the best around, you can even be Jesus fuckin’ Christ himself, but do not expect to get past the Top 40 while walking out solo to a Linkin Park song. Ever.
41. Jack Alexander – “I Coulda Been a Contender” by The Gaslight Anthem
Newer guy, apparently. One of them. Decent enough start, a bit of a head nodder and probably the only reason why I’m putting it lower than others is due to not knowing how well it fits this fella. If we do a round two of these, you can probably expect this one to jump a few spots.
40. Brett Sands – “Burn” by Papa Roach
This would be a bit higher, but…Papa Roach is okay and I associate this one with a certain “Rebel Child” from whom I won my first singles gold out of last year. A sentence about this not fitting a former big brother figure goes here.
39. Whisper – “Coma” by Buckethead
I love me some shredding at times and Buckethead does deliver in that regard. But again, it’s one of those themes where it doesn’t click for me. It’s too slow, then it’s too crazy, it has more holes in it than this thing’s offense when it went up against Fiona Rourke.
38. Kylar Stark – “Bullet With Butterfly Wings” by Ill Nino
Wrestling wise, I like his style. It’s a bit brutal, sure, but it’s effective. BUT KYLAR STARK! Y U NO USE SMASHING PUMPKINS VERSION?!?!?!
37. Angry Pete – “Black Betty” by Spiderbait
Same as Stark’s, I just liked this cover a bit more. Also, if this guy really does have a manager named Geese Howard, you all in EXODUS Pro need to pay him a ridiculous amount of money. I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING! SPARE YOURSELVES FROM REPPUKENS, RAGING STORMS AND DEADLY RAVES!!!!
36. Jaime Alejandro - “Good Man” by Devour the Day
I remember this guy from ASWF, back when some blonde Canadian I know was there too. Anyways, it’s a good song, but it’s the matter that I think the other remaining themes above it deserve to be a little to a lot higher.
35. Gods & Monsters (Zack Lifer & Magnus Gunner) – “Pulse of the Maggots” by Slipknot
For the duo of “Gods & Monsters,” Slipknot isn’t a bad way to go. At the same time, you could do far, far better if you’re trying to portray the “FUCK YOU, WE’RE GOING TO WRECK ALL YO SHIT, FUCK YO COUCH” mentality. Maybe just keep the beginning of it and then throw in Avantasia’s “Twisted Mind” in?
34. Sylar Drake – “Wild at Heart” by Birds of Tokyo
It was unfortunate to hear about him getting injured. Sylar was enjoyable to watch. Decent theme, but I’m afraid there are thirty-four better.
33. Kevin Hardaway – “No End in Sight” by Killswitch Engage
It’s okay. Of course, seeing this guy’s douchetacular personality in social media doth make me think this song is fitting…because that level of brains probably has no end in sight for its hardheaded shit.
32. Chris Strike – “March of Mephisto” by Kamelot
I like Kamelot. Believe me, I do. But on the principle of this being my brother-in-law and the fact that are far better Kamelot songs he could be using, this ranks down here (although the intro to it, of course, is absolutely bitching…beyond that? Nah.)
31. Blake Jones – “Light Up The Sky” by Thousand Foot Krutch
Good introduction, has some high points but also has some low ones (peaks and valleys, much like the Philly Young Gun’s early career now) that keep the ranking of the song from getting past the Top 30.
30. Chandler Scott – “Ride of the Valkyries” by Richard Wagner
Wagner gets overused all across the globe and unfortunately, Mr. Harvard pants over there falls victim to following suit on that. But hey, at the very least, third place is better than last place on the GoW scale?
29. Young Guns (Blake Jones & Sylar Drake) – “Bones” by Young Guns
It’s plucky, a bit upbeat, got a good sound to it and I think it conveys the fact these two are on their way to becoming established (Sylar once he’s back from injury and Blake with the more experience he keeps getting).
28. TROUBLE (Steve Lenton & Wulf Erikssen) – “Can You Dig It (Iron Man 3 Main Titles)” by Brian Tyler
As I said before, I’m not too hot on their themes as a singles entity, but as a tag team (which is now wearing VERY prestigious gold)? Absolutely, I can dig it.
27. Zack Lifer – “Alive in the Lights” by Memphis May Fire
Definitely a message behind this theme and with Zack being the kind of man that he is, I can understand his decision process in picking this one up. I know opinions differ on him, depending on who you ask, but I personally have no issues with the dude. Seems people hate him for the sake of just hating him.
26. Vengado – “Engel” by Rammstein
One of my all-time favorites, got the pleasure to see them a few times playing live while I was wrestling in Germany. Very intriguing theme and while we don’t know too much about the “Dragon of Vengeance,” this is a pretty solid theme.
25. Fiona Rourke – “One for the Money” by Escape The Fate
For me, if Fiona had stuck with either “The Ocean” by Tonight Alive or “Unbreakable” by Fireflight, I’d have probably ranked her much higher on this list. I just think out of her three main themes in EXODUS, thus far, this one lacks anything outside of its chorus that she goes out to. Also pleased to see her back competing. Plucky action girl, makes all the nerdy references…I’m almost half-surprised her and Eileen Amaro haven’t met yet and gone off to fight evil by moonlight (and win love by daylight).
So…that said, this is the first half here. Just something to satiate the curiosities of some and I’ll be getting to 24-1 in a little while here. Until then, thanks for stopping by and as always…battle’s on.