Post by Carlton Winslow on Feb 23, 2014 17:49:35 GMT -6
Is this thing working? Aw crackjacks...maybe...put this one here and...click...
Carlton Winslow: YES. Jeez, setting up a webcam is so hard. OKAY, uhm, OH...HELLO True Believers, it is I, Carlton Winslow, coming to you LIVE from the beautiful confines of my Fortress of Solitude, BUM-BUM-BUUUUM!!! So yeah, my name is Carlton, and I’m going to be wrestling here in RevPro--
Mommy: Carlton, honey~
Carlton Winslow: Moooom, I’m working!
Mommy: I was just wondering if you wanted a snickerdoodle before you had your warm milky-drink for your nap.
Carlton Winslow: MOM, I don’t want any warm milk or snickerdoodles, I’m working! I’m tryna cut an epic, bad-ass promo so the people in RevPro think I’m cool! Mom, please!!
Mommy: Is my little dark bumblebee grumpy? Come on, let mommy put you down for a nap.
Carlton Winslow: MOMMY!!! NO!
Mommy: I’m coming in.
Carlton Winslow: No, mom, I--no don’t come in--OHHH my God.
Mommy: There’s my little man~
Carlton Winslow: MOM, please, people are going to see this on Youtube and, and, and on the SITE, people are gonna see you! I’m a man mom, I’m a grown man, and I need to show people that!!!
Mommy: Aw is my baby constipated? You look constipated. Mommy will get you some Milk of Magnesia.
Carlton Winslow: NO, I don’t want any!
Mommy: Okay honey, so what are you doing?
Carlton Winslow: I’m trying to sound tough and cool for my match!
Mommy: Oh baby, what’s mommy always told you about being cool?
Carlton Winslow: Cool people have self esteem issues, and only use that as a facade to cover up their true personality which is a scared child who’s in need of mommy’s happy kisses.
Mommy: That’s right! And I see someone in need of mommy’s kisses right now, give mommy a kiss.
Carlton Winslow: …
Mommy: That’s my big boy~ Now do you want your snickerdoodle?
Carlton Winslow: I DON’T WANT A FRICK FRACKING SNICKERDOODLE.
Daddy: HEY LITTLE NIGGA, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE AROUND YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN’ MOM!!!
Carlton Winslow: I’m sorry father.
Daddy: DAMN RIGHT you are nigga. Tryna read the New York Times over here and seeing how the motherfuckin' stock market is holding up after NASDAQ went down 0.3% and you’re up here yellin’ and cussin’ at your mother! You better eat one of her snickdoodles nigga…she worked hard on them snickerdoodles, put peanut butter cups in them and every-mothafuckin-thing else in it!
Carlton Winslow: But daddy I’m not hungry--
Dad: I said--
Mommy: Are they good?
Carlton Winslow (incoherent mumble): Iz gud.
Mommy: Mommy will leave you to your work, have fun, don’t stay up to late. Honey, do you wanna try a piece of my snickerdoodle?
Daddy (white voice): Oooo, snickerdoodles, my favorite, I'd love one honey.
Mommy: Oh you.
Carlton Winslow: ....
Carlton Winslow: SO YEAH, I'm Carlton Winslow, and I'm going to be wrestling at the Revolution Dojo in San Diego, California! I'll be entering a tournament to see who's going to be the first world champ there! I gotta say...I'm honored, kind of makes me feel good inside to know that I'll be fighting for a chance a gold. Uhm, it might sound strange, but I'll be fighting a girl and...I'm a little sketchy on that. Because uhm, back in private school, there was a girl named Sally Munson, and she use to kick my butt everyday for my two dollars I would use for snacks after school. So...it's a little truamatic.
Carlton Winslow: But then I realized Dina Bryce isn't Sally Munson, and I'm not 5'5" and weigh ninety pounds! I'm a grown MAN, and I shall prevail over ANY obstacles placed in my way! I came here to wrestle because this is a sport that I will do everything for! I'm going to go to San Diego, I'm going to give an amazing showing and Carlton Winslow WILL move on to get one step closer to the title belt. So yeah, Dina Bryce, I'm ready for a good fight! And--
Mommy: Carlton, sweetie.
Mommy: Mommy's going for a run, do you want me to pick up anything from the store?
Carlton Winslow: ...
Carlton Winslow: Milk of Magnesia...
Mommy: Aw, okay, I'm off, bye bye mommy loves you.
..Or Not...
End.
There he appeared, a black guy sitting down in a bedroom. But...his bedroom wasn’t something befitting of someone of his uhm...color? There were posters of the Thundercats cartoon, along with Billy Idol and David Bowie posters plastered everywhere. What made it stand out the most were his massive shelf of action figures and lunchboxes of every Mighty Morphin Power Ranger. Carlton Winslow ladies and gentlemen!!
Mommy: Carlton, honey~
Carlton Winslow: Moooom, I’m working!
Mommy: I was just wondering if you wanted a snickerdoodle before you had your warm milky-drink for your nap.
Carlton turns to the camera, his mouth opened wide. His head darts back to the door.
Mommy: Is my little dark bumblebee grumpy? Come on, let mommy put you down for a nap.
Carlton Winslow: MOMMY!!! NO!
Mommy: I’m coming in.
Carlton Winslow: No, mom, I--no don’t come in--OHHH my God.
In comes a MILF of a white woman, blue eyes, blond hair and the rack of a 21 year old college girl. She’s dressed in a nice, baby blue blouse which tried it’s damnedest to cover up her giant knockers and oddly enough, a modest navy blue knee length skirt. She was an apron around her waist and held a plate of snickerdoodles with a big happy smile on her face.
Carlton Winslow: MOM, please, people are going to see this on Youtube and, and, and on the SITE, people are gonna see you! I’m a man mom, I’m a grown man, and I need to show people that!!!
His mom makes a small little pout and rubs the back of his head.
Carlton Winslow: NO, I don’t want any!
Mommy: Okay honey, so what are you doing?
Carlton Winslow: I’m trying to sound tough and cool for my match!
Mommy: Oh baby, what’s mommy always told you about being cool?
Carlton Winslow: Cool people have self esteem issues, and only use that as a facade to cover up their true personality which is a scared child who’s in need of mommy’s happy kisses.
Mommy: That’s right! And I see someone in need of mommy’s kisses right now, give mommy a kiss.
She places a big wet kiss on his face and smiles brightly rubbing his head in a motherly fashion. Carlton looks absolutely DONE and folds his arms over his chest, pouting. He looks at her and then blinks for a moment.
Mommy: That’s my big boy~ Now do you want your snickerdoodle?
Carlton Winslow: I DON’T WANT A FRICK FRACKING SNICKERDOODLE.
Daddy: HEY LITTLE NIGGA, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE AROUND YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN’ MOM!!!
There stood a towering black man, wearing a sweater, a pair of glasses, khakis, and some loafers. He stood in Carlton’s door, looking menacing as fuck holding a belt. Carlton looks behind him and swallows hard.
Daddy: DAMN RIGHT you are nigga. Tryna read the New York Times over here and seeing how the motherfuckin' stock market is holding up after NASDAQ went down 0.3% and you’re up here yellin’ and cussin’ at your mother! You better eat one of her snickdoodles nigga…she worked hard on them snickerdoodles, put peanut butter cups in them and every-mothafuckin-thing else in it!
Carlton Winslow: But daddy I’m not hungry--
Dad: I said--
His dad acts like he’s gonna run in and beam him in the mouth. Carlton shoves five snickerdoodles into his mouth and attempts to chew. His mother watches on, acting totally oblivious to the fact that Carlton’s dad was a straight hood, ass gangster from the streets. She just caresses Carlton’s head and smiles.
Carlton looks like he’s gonna cry, he forces a food filled smile on his head and nods.
His mom’s face lights up and smiles, kissing him on the cheek again.
Daddy (white voice): Oooo, snickerdoodles, my favorite, I'd love one honey.
Mommy: Oh you.
Carlton Winslow: ....
Carlton tries not to cry in front of the cam. Suddenly there's a cut, maybe an edit from Carlton who's got a glass of milk and chugging it down as he wipes his mouth and acts like nothing happened.
He gives an awkward and nervous chuckle and pills out a gallon of milk from under his desk and chugs it with a frighten look in his eyes. His face goes back to normal however, back to a big and excited smile like no other!
Mommy: Carlton, sweetie.
Carlton's mom walks in sporting a tight sports bra and hip hugging yoga pants.
Carlton Winslow: ...
Carlton holds his stomach tightly.
Mommy: Aw, okay, I'm off, bye bye mommy loves you.
Carlton is just defeated, he sighs, rubs his forehead and then clicks a button. Well that went over well, but hey, he got it out of the way and hopefully people will pay attention to his promo! YEAH, this is going to go over AWESOME!!!
..Or Not...
End.