Post by Savannah Taylor on Oct 5, 2014 20:20:49 GMT -6
Saturday, September 27th, 2014
Lake Tahoe, Nevada
OFF CAMERA
The sun was just beginning to set over the remote part of the Nevada side of Lake Tahoe. Orange mixed with red to create a brilliant display in the sky that was mirrored by the pristine lake below. The smooth, almost mirror like surface reflected the brilliant hues of the setting sun as well as the darker shadows of the mix of pine, oak and spruce trees that fill the popular vacation spot. Approximately six hundred yards away from the shore, set up on a hill and nestled comfortably in a thick grove of trees, sat a log cabin. While it wasn’t the largest or most expansive piece of property on Lake Tahoe, the fairly well sized, one story cabin sat among the trees like a wooden fortress. A fortress meant to protect against outsiders, or in this case to protect the occupant against the outside world. The path leading up to the cabin itself was just wide enough for a person to walk comfortably with no need of a motorized vehicle disrupting the serenity of the location. The three wooden steps led up to the porch with a deck that looked out over the water. The deck held a white wicker two person seat to the left of the door and a single person chair to the right, both pieces of furniture came with blue and white floral patterned cushions on the seat portions. The heavy wooden door was open, leaving only the screen door keeping the inside from the outside. Movement can be detected inside the cabin as a light is turned on. Inside the small-ish living room, a familiar figure sinks down onto the large couch, plunking down a pink mug onto the wooden side table. The figure is that of reigning EXODUS San Diego Bay champion Savannah Taylor. Dressed in a pair of oversized pink plaid flannel lounge pants and a white tank top worn underneath an oversized grey sweatshirt, she doesn’t look like the glamorous woman people are used to seeing. Her face is free of makeup and her blonde hair is pulled up into a ponytail, with a few loose strands framing her face. Reaching over, she grabs the mug and takes a small sip of the chamomile tea she just made herself. Setting the mug back down, she sinks back into the couch and heaves a sigh.
A lot had been weighing on her mind, not much of it was positive. Ever since what happened at Long Way Down, she found herself put through the emotional ringer. Because of what she did, she found herself on the outside looking in so to speak. She eliminated half of the opposition by herself. The one that stuck out the most was the fact that she eliminated Chandler Scott, someone she had grown close to and quite fond of over the past four weeks. If it was any other person, the elimination wouldn’t be a big deal. But because she was a member of Gods and Monsters, she was branded as the scapegoat. She was being billed as a villain because of how she eliminated him. The aftermath had left her feeling hollow inside. Heaving a sigh, Savannah reaches over to the side table and picks up a hard cover notebook and a ballpoint pen. The notebook or more specifically, journal had a purple cover with pink, black and blue swirls on it. Opening it up, she flips to a blank page and uncaps the pen. Smoothing the paper down, she begins to write.
One week. That is about how long it has been since what happened at Long Way Down. The more time that passes, the more I am left with more questions than answers. Why did it have to happen? Why did I have to be the one to eliminate him? Why couldn’t I have simply gone back to my corner and tagged in Magdalena? I was too caught up in trying to prove myself in this match that I overlooked a lot. The biggest thing I overlooked was the fact that I would upset people by doing what I did. I’m the one solely responsible for what happened. If I could take things back and redo the whole match, I would do so in a heartbeat.
She pauses her writing to reach over to grab her mug. Inhaling the sweet aroma of chamomile, she takes a long sip, letting the heated liquid, sweetened with a bit of honey hit the back of her throat before swallowing. She had taken to drinking the calming drink within the past couple of weeks. Her professional and personal lives were both starting to become more chaotic. Any little bit of solace she could find, she was taking. That is what brought her up to the cabin in Lake Tahoe. It was one of a few things that her grandmother left her in her will. She remembered coming up here when she was younger and how at peace she felt when she’d spend a week or two by the lake. Now that she was an adult, she was hoping for the same peace of mind.
The only positive thing, if you can call it that, to come out of the Long Way Down main event was that Gods and Monsters picked up the win. That is about the only positive thing about the match. I can’t even find any sort of peace knowing I pinned Jonathan Collins to get the ring. It’s HOW I got to that point that has caused all of this trouble. I almost believe that if someone like Fiona or Angela were in the match instead of him, none of this would have happened. I’m almost positive it would have been Fiona. That does seem to be how the esteemed director operates. Either way, I probably wouldn’t be in this state if either of them were in the match instead of him. I guess that is more than likely why no one seemed to swallow their pride even for a SECOND to congratulate me on a match well fought. Wait, I take that back. Only ONE person who is close enough to the Sekigun even bothered to give me any sort of compliment, and that was Jimmy Riley. One person out of HOW many? And people wonder why I have the attitude that I do. All I want is to be shown just a FRACTION of the respect that everyone else, even Christum, Magdalena and Sally, seem to get. What is it about me that is different from everyone? Why am I the one branded an outcast? It is something I have wondered for a year now, and I am no closer to getting any sort of answers.
Another sigh escapes the Las Vegas native’s lips as she pauses her writing. The fact that no one outside of Angela and Jimmy even bothered to say anything positive about her efforts in the match only added to her already somewhat fragile state. She thought back to her lunch with Angela the day after Long Way Down. She was somewhat surprised when the veteran all but dragged her out to get some lunch. It had been the first meal that Savannah had consumed since an early breakfast Sunday morning. She was too concerned, too focused on trying to get through the match that everything else seemed not as important. She wasn’t sure what to expect from the seasoned veteran. It wasn’t that long ago that she had put Angela in the hospital and was involved in the match that saw the turn of the once-kind cousin Brianna Singer. To her surprise, Angela wasn’t concerned about that. The two women ended up having a genuine heart to heart conversation, mostly about what Savannah was going through post-match. It didn’t take Angela much coaxing for Savannah to reveal the truth about her feelings towards Chandler. She had fallen for him. She wasn’t playing him. There were no ulterior motives or anything like that. She let her guard down and developed feelings for the brash yet skilled ally of Jonathan Collins. Now, she wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Speaking of answers, I tried to call him the other day. It went straight to voicemail. I couldn’t bring myself to leave a message. Knowing what I did to him during the match, it is something I’m going to have to live with for a while. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. All I want is a chance to apologize face to face. All I want is for the chance to explain what I did in the hopes that someday I can be forgiven. Thankfully I’m not holding my breath on the forgiveness part. I just wish that people could see that there are NO games going on and that I am NOT playing anyone at all. Angela and Heather both told me that I didn’t do anything different than anyone else. If that is true, then why are everyone and their uncle upset with me? Why is everyone making ME out to be the ultimate bad guy in this story? I’ve heard people say that if you hear something often enough over a period of time, then you believe it to be true. All I have heard since Long Way Down is how I was nothing more than an untrustworthy witch who deserved every ounce of karma that I supposedly have coming to me. I’m starting to believe them. I’m starting to believe the people that say I will never end up happy. Deep down, I believe that. Maybe I am too far screwed up to truly find happiness in my personal and professional life.
A sniffle can be heard as a drop falls onto the paper. Savannah drops the pen down onto the journal and wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. This was mainly why she came up to the cabin. There was no television and no internet availability, so she wasn’t able to log onto her social media sites to read about the backlash. There was power, but that was only used for cooking, bathing, and electricity. It was a good thing she only brought her phone with her. She only used it in the vain attempt to get ahold of him. After her failed attempt, she shut her phone off and left it in the glove compartment of her car. That was two days ago. Who knows how many text messages, missed phone calls and voice mails have accumulated since then? If she were a betting woman, she would bet on none. She takes a few deep breaths in order to calm down a bit, and then she takes another couple of sips from her tea. The herbed liquid seems to help some as she wipes at the corner of her eyes once more.
I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t even know to begin the process of making things right. Not just with Chandler, but with everything. Maybe a change will do some good. On the flip side, maybe it will just blow up in my face. With everything that has been going on, I’ve often thought about what things would be like if I just up and left. I’ve been thinking about that pretty much since I won the San Diego Bay title. Not like anyone has been taking me seriously anyway. It isn’t like anyone would really miss me if I just handed in the title, terminated my contract and just rode off into the sunset. No one would even notice that I would be gone. Why should they? Everyone I know has someone that, at the end of the day, they can lean on for support and just to talk to, to be there for them. Who do I have? Yeah, you guessed it. No one. So really, what difference would it make if I were here or not? I know the only two that have shown anything other than hate and disdain to me would talk me out of it, but honestly what other options do I have? Maybe all I need is some time to weigh my options. The only question left is, how much time?
Removing the pen from the paper, she caps it and shuts her journal. Setting it back down on the end table, she stands up and slides her feet into the fuzzy black slippers that were in front of the couch. Shuffling over to the kitchen, she drains the rest of her tea and places the mug in the sink. Rinsing it out, she sets it on the counter and walks over to the screen door. Looking out, she takes in the idyllic scenery of her place of serenity. She made the right choice in coming up here. She knew that no one would bother her up here, which, given how things were going, she liked it. It was just her, her thoughts, a couple of books, and nature. She was aware that she had a match coming up in a little over a week. She wanted to better herself mentally enough so that she didn’t let her partner down. She’s been doing that enough lately. Things would eventually get better. She just wasn’t sure when that day would happen. For now, she would do everything she could to make things right. Just as soon as she figured out where to begin.
Lake Tahoe, Nevada
OFF CAMERA
The sun was just beginning to set over the remote part of the Nevada side of Lake Tahoe. Orange mixed with red to create a brilliant display in the sky that was mirrored by the pristine lake below. The smooth, almost mirror like surface reflected the brilliant hues of the setting sun as well as the darker shadows of the mix of pine, oak and spruce trees that fill the popular vacation spot. Approximately six hundred yards away from the shore, set up on a hill and nestled comfortably in a thick grove of trees, sat a log cabin. While it wasn’t the largest or most expansive piece of property on Lake Tahoe, the fairly well sized, one story cabin sat among the trees like a wooden fortress. A fortress meant to protect against outsiders, or in this case to protect the occupant against the outside world. The path leading up to the cabin itself was just wide enough for a person to walk comfortably with no need of a motorized vehicle disrupting the serenity of the location. The three wooden steps led up to the porch with a deck that looked out over the water. The deck held a white wicker two person seat to the left of the door and a single person chair to the right, both pieces of furniture came with blue and white floral patterned cushions on the seat portions. The heavy wooden door was open, leaving only the screen door keeping the inside from the outside. Movement can be detected inside the cabin as a light is turned on. Inside the small-ish living room, a familiar figure sinks down onto the large couch, plunking down a pink mug onto the wooden side table. The figure is that of reigning EXODUS San Diego Bay champion Savannah Taylor. Dressed in a pair of oversized pink plaid flannel lounge pants and a white tank top worn underneath an oversized grey sweatshirt, she doesn’t look like the glamorous woman people are used to seeing. Her face is free of makeup and her blonde hair is pulled up into a ponytail, with a few loose strands framing her face. Reaching over, she grabs the mug and takes a small sip of the chamomile tea she just made herself. Setting the mug back down, she sinks back into the couch and heaves a sigh.
Take it back
I would take it back
For just another minute
Just another chance with you
Give it up
I would give everything up
Every last breath
Every first taste for you
Just to make it all right
Just to make it all right
A lot had been weighing on her mind, not much of it was positive. Ever since what happened at Long Way Down, she found herself put through the emotional ringer. Because of what she did, she found herself on the outside looking in so to speak. She eliminated half of the opposition by herself. The one that stuck out the most was the fact that she eliminated Chandler Scott, someone she had grown close to and quite fond of over the past four weeks. If it was any other person, the elimination wouldn’t be a big deal. But because she was a member of Gods and Monsters, she was branded as the scapegoat. She was being billed as a villain because of how she eliminated him. The aftermath had left her feeling hollow inside. Heaving a sigh, Savannah reaches over to the side table and picks up a hard cover notebook and a ballpoint pen. The notebook or more specifically, journal had a purple cover with pink, black and blue swirls on it. Opening it up, she flips to a blank page and uncaps the pen. Smoothing the paper down, she begins to write.
One week. That is about how long it has been since what happened at Long Way Down. The more time that passes, the more I am left with more questions than answers. Why did it have to happen? Why did I have to be the one to eliminate him? Why couldn’t I have simply gone back to my corner and tagged in Magdalena? I was too caught up in trying to prove myself in this match that I overlooked a lot. The biggest thing I overlooked was the fact that I would upset people by doing what I did. I’m the one solely responsible for what happened. If I could take things back and redo the whole match, I would do so in a heartbeat.
She pauses her writing to reach over to grab her mug. Inhaling the sweet aroma of chamomile, she takes a long sip, letting the heated liquid, sweetened with a bit of honey hit the back of her throat before swallowing. She had taken to drinking the calming drink within the past couple of weeks. Her professional and personal lives were both starting to become more chaotic. Any little bit of solace she could find, she was taking. That is what brought her up to the cabin in Lake Tahoe. It was one of a few things that her grandmother left her in her will. She remembered coming up here when she was younger and how at peace she felt when she’d spend a week or two by the lake. Now that she was an adult, she was hoping for the same peace of mind.
The only positive thing, if you can call it that, to come out of the Long Way Down main event was that Gods and Monsters picked up the win. That is about the only positive thing about the match. I can’t even find any sort of peace knowing I pinned Jonathan Collins to get the ring. It’s HOW I got to that point that has caused all of this trouble. I almost believe that if someone like Fiona or Angela were in the match instead of him, none of this would have happened. I’m almost positive it would have been Fiona. That does seem to be how the esteemed director operates. Either way, I probably wouldn’t be in this state if either of them were in the match instead of him. I guess that is more than likely why no one seemed to swallow their pride even for a SECOND to congratulate me on a match well fought. Wait, I take that back. Only ONE person who is close enough to the Sekigun even bothered to give me any sort of compliment, and that was Jimmy Riley. One person out of HOW many? And people wonder why I have the attitude that I do. All I want is to be shown just a FRACTION of the respect that everyone else, even Christum, Magdalena and Sally, seem to get. What is it about me that is different from everyone? Why am I the one branded an outcast? It is something I have wondered for a year now, and I am no closer to getting any sort of answers.
But it's too late
To go back
I can see the darkness
Through the cracks
Daylight fading
I curse the breaking
The day is gone
The day is gone
Another sigh escapes the Las Vegas native’s lips as she pauses her writing. The fact that no one outside of Angela and Jimmy even bothered to say anything positive about her efforts in the match only added to her already somewhat fragile state. She thought back to her lunch with Angela the day after Long Way Down. She was somewhat surprised when the veteran all but dragged her out to get some lunch. It had been the first meal that Savannah had consumed since an early breakfast Sunday morning. She was too concerned, too focused on trying to get through the match that everything else seemed not as important. She wasn’t sure what to expect from the seasoned veteran. It wasn’t that long ago that she had put Angela in the hospital and was involved in the match that saw the turn of the once-kind cousin Brianna Singer. To her surprise, Angela wasn’t concerned about that. The two women ended up having a genuine heart to heart conversation, mostly about what Savannah was going through post-match. It didn’t take Angela much coaxing for Savannah to reveal the truth about her feelings towards Chandler. She had fallen for him. She wasn’t playing him. There were no ulterior motives or anything like that. She let her guard down and developed feelings for the brash yet skilled ally of Jonathan Collins. Now, she wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Speaking of answers, I tried to call him the other day. It went straight to voicemail. I couldn’t bring myself to leave a message. Knowing what I did to him during the match, it is something I’m going to have to live with for a while. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. All I want is a chance to apologize face to face. All I want is for the chance to explain what I did in the hopes that someday I can be forgiven. Thankfully I’m not holding my breath on the forgiveness part. I just wish that people could see that there are NO games going on and that I am NOT playing anyone at all. Angela and Heather both told me that I didn’t do anything different than anyone else. If that is true, then why are everyone and their uncle upset with me? Why is everyone making ME out to be the ultimate bad guy in this story? I’ve heard people say that if you hear something often enough over a period of time, then you believe it to be true. All I have heard since Long Way Down is how I was nothing more than an untrustworthy witch who deserved every ounce of karma that I supposedly have coming to me. I’m starting to believe them. I’m starting to believe the people that say I will never end up happy. Deep down, I believe that. Maybe I am too far screwed up to truly find happiness in my personal and professional life.
A sniffle can be heard as a drop falls onto the paper. Savannah drops the pen down onto the journal and wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. This was mainly why she came up to the cabin. There was no television and no internet availability, so she wasn’t able to log onto her social media sites to read about the backlash. There was power, but that was only used for cooking, bathing, and electricity. It was a good thing she only brought her phone with her. She only used it in the vain attempt to get ahold of him. After her failed attempt, she shut her phone off and left it in the glove compartment of her car. That was two days ago. Who knows how many text messages, missed phone calls and voice mails have accumulated since then? If she were a betting woman, she would bet on none. She takes a few deep breaths in order to calm down a bit, and then she takes another couple of sips from her tea. The herbed liquid seems to help some as she wipes at the corner of her eyes once more.
Run away
I'll just run away
Like a child
From all of them to you
And now I see
My most constant mistake
Is I don't know what I love till it's gone
I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t even know to begin the process of making things right. Not just with Chandler, but with everything. Maybe a change will do some good. On the flip side, maybe it will just blow up in my face. With everything that has been going on, I’ve often thought about what things would be like if I just up and left. I’ve been thinking about that pretty much since I won the San Diego Bay title. Not like anyone has been taking me seriously anyway. It isn’t like anyone would really miss me if I just handed in the title, terminated my contract and just rode off into the sunset. No one would even notice that I would be gone. Why should they? Everyone I know has someone that, at the end of the day, they can lean on for support and just to talk to, to be there for them. Who do I have? Yeah, you guessed it. No one. So really, what difference would it make if I were here or not? I know the only two that have shown anything other than hate and disdain to me would talk me out of it, but honestly what other options do I have? Maybe all I need is some time to weigh my options. The only question left is, how much time?
Removing the pen from the paper, she caps it and shuts her journal. Setting it back down on the end table, she stands up and slides her feet into the fuzzy black slippers that were in front of the couch. Shuffling over to the kitchen, she drains the rest of her tea and places the mug in the sink. Rinsing it out, she sets it on the counter and walks over to the screen door. Looking out, she takes in the idyllic scenery of her place of serenity. She made the right choice in coming up here. She knew that no one would bother her up here, which, given how things were going, she liked it. It was just her, her thoughts, a couple of books, and nature. She was aware that she had a match coming up in a little over a week. She wanted to better herself mentally enough so that she didn’t let her partner down. She’s been doing that enough lately. Things would eventually get better. She just wasn’t sure when that day would happen. For now, she would do everything she could to make things right. Just as soon as she figured out where to begin.
But it's too late
To go back
I can see the darkness
Through the cracks
Daylight fading
I curse the breaking
The day is gone
The day is gone
