I Am 02 - Midnight Swim

"Ko-nee-chee-wa," he said as he sat next to her, a grin on his face.

Their hands intertwined and it felt like this was a long time coming. As her friends had them all out by the beach at sunset on this cool San Diego night, he let go of her to reach for his hoodie and remove it, wrapping it around her shoulders.

"We...we do not have places like this at home. Sort of. We have nice beaches, but I do not see them often. I like this though...but I don't understand. Why are you all celebrating the departure of ways? You will not see some of them after this, you will be sad," he said quietly, going back for his hand as he sat with her.

Destiny huddled closer to Shinji and reached for his hand again, squeezing it gently. "It's our last party before everyone goes their separate ways. Some of them are going to graduate school, or they're starting jobs. They're moving on to the next stage of their lives. It's the end of a chapter in our lives, but it's the beginning of new and exciting things. So that's why we're celebrating."

She smiled at him, the breeze blowing through her green hair. "For some of us, these four years were the best times of our lives. I'll miss them, but we'll keep in touch and it'll be good."

"It's strange to think of this all. We do what we can to grow up together, only for us to grow apart. After everything I've gone through with you, I do not think I could separate myself from you," he admitted as he looked at her. "When I stayed behind to compete again in Japan, I missed you. I felt...empty. There was something missing," he said to her as he fidgeted a little while sitting next to her.

"Do you think you will want to leave California someday?" he asked quietly, tilting his head with a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. You've been such a huge part of my life and not having you here... it wasn't good. If not for Heather taking me on as her assistant I think things would have been worse. But after making it through that, I'm pretty sure you and I can survive anything." Almost shyly, she leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"I've thought about it. I mean... there's a lot that keeps me tied here. But if it was for the right reasons, then yeah, I think I'd leave. As long as it's not like, Alaska or something. I'm a California girl, born and raised. I don't think I could handle all that snow and cold." She laughed, grinning back at Shinji as she tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

"Oh, where the Eskimos are!" he exclaimed, smiling with a laugh as he looked at her. That's when his voice grew soft and he realized that as happy as they were, there were things that they had to prepare for now that they had crossed some bridges once thought impossible to traverse after all they had been through.

"I will have to return to Japan this year. I have only a few months left, but they understand I have unfinished business here. Not just you, but the Pacific Coast Title. I wish to defend it with pride and honor," he told her as he sighed. "But I know it's with Shozo. I cannot leave him like this, I cannot leave him struggling when I know he is about to walk down a dark path," he lamented. "Nor would I want to leave you behind."

The idea of him having to go back to Japan - possibly for good - didn't sit well with Destiny if it meant her having to stay here in San Diego. "I know that there's still a lot you want to do here, and I really hope that you're able to do it all. Especially helping Shozo. Watching guys like him and Lifer... it's kind of terrifying, honestly. Because it would have been so easy for me to go down that same path, you know? But then you showed up, and you helped me be okay. It's... easier for me to stay balanced when you're here."

She was quiet for a few moments, apparently deep in thought. "You know... I did have a good time during the Japan tour. I really liked it there."

"Japan is beautiful. There is so much I can do there. Working with Yamato-san at the Fighting Love Dojo opened my eyes to my future. I do not just want to be great here, but I want to be great in my homeland. I want to take over the world and let people know who I am," he said to her as he listened and sighed contently. The truth was that Shinji was afraid to leave her behind, but unlike before when he was convinced that he would lose her and never see here again, now he felt like she would stay with her and he would see here here with him without any doubts.

"My clock is ticking here. I can only hope that I make my difference in my short time back here in California," he said quietly as he turned his head and leaned his forehead against her temple. "I will stay with you though, but I do wish you will consider coming to Japan with me. I think you would enjoy home."

"You are absolutely amazing, I hope you know that. You're so good at what you do, and you have the kindest, most generous heart of anyone that I've ever met. If there's anyone who can take this world by storm, it's you. And I love that I've been able to witness it firsthand."

Destiny knew how lucky she was. For all the fans he had, both here and in Japan, it was she who had managed to not only capture his attention, but to gain his trust, friendship, and love as well. It was a dream come true and now that she had finally accepted that she was in fact good enough for him, she wasn't about to lose him.

"I am considering it, Shinji. I'm sure Heather would be okay with it - she's always been really supportive of you and I. My family might think it's crazy, but whatever. And it's not like I have school to worry about. I... kind of dropped out at the beginning of the year. I just couldn't do it anymore. But you're the first person besides me and the school who knows about it."

"I feel like I don't know everything about you. From day one, you told me that Destiny wasn't your real name, and yet you know mine. You know my heart, my dreams, my desires...all of me. I know that you are not just my destiny by adopted name, but by reality. The road I took brought me here, but please...do not be afraid anymore to tell me your name, because I want to know everything about the real you now," he said to her with a smile, his lips now kissing her temple as he closed his eyes. For once, after everything that seemed so lost and confusing about coming to America, he felt perfectly right here with her on this night.

"What you know about me, other than my name, is the truth. This is who I am, and you've seen me at both my worst and my best. But yeah, there's still a lot that I haven't told you. I told myself that when I came to college, I would do everything I could to be a different person and let go of all the bullshit that I had to deal with in high school. I started going by a different name and I never talked about my family or where I came from. I turned myself into a real life manic pixie dream girl. Didn't work out quite as well as I'd planned, but it's taken me awhile to be okay with being just myself."

She paused and took a deep breath, lifting their linked hands to her lips so that could press a kiss to Shinji's knuckles. "Eleanor Elizabeth McKinley. Ella for short. That's my real name. I was born on July thirtieth, I'll be twenty-three this year, and I grew up here in San Diego. My mom is a manager at a diner and my dad works at the bus depot as a mechanic. I have one older brother, James, who's eight years older than I am and who's been in and out of trouble since I was a kid. And since he was such a fuckup, they put a lot of pressure on me to be the golden child, so that's always been hard for me to deal with. But hey, now you know the real story behind Destiny Starshine."

"Eleanor," he said quietly, the word trying to form itself in his mouth. It was the first time he said that name in relation to her, the first time he would learn to call that out instead of a name that wasn't one of her own creation. "Ella," he said. "Like the song!" he smiled. "Under my umbrella, ella, ella," he did with a grin. The music was neither his favorite or hers, but it was well known and enough to have him laugh and smile with her as the two of them remained there.

"I am happy I know this now. I am happy to know who you are. It does not change how I feel for you in the slightest, because I will always care about you and who you are. I am very in love with you," he assured her, a small nod from his head. "And I will never leave you abandoned."

She giggled as he mentioned the song lyrics. "Yeah, when that song came out I heard that joke repeatedly. I also got a lot of Cinderella jokes, but that was when I was little. It's up to you if you want to keep calling me Destiny or start calling me by my real name. Either way, I'm still the same person."

And for the first time since she'd started at UCSD, she felt like it was okay for Destiny and Ella to be one and the same, thanks to the young wrestler who had come into her life and brought her out of hiding. "I love you too, Shinji. Always. And I'm glad that you love the real me, because that's not something I ever thought could happen. So when you have to go back to Japan in a few months, I want to go with you. You can help me learn Japanese, like I helped you with English. And even though it won't be easy, at least we'll be together. We're better that way."

"I would love if you would come, because even with my goals here, my future is there. I want to be Unified Double Titles champion, Ella. I once dreamed of wrestling in the Olympics, but the tsunami shifted my dreams. And even if it will be a monumental task, I will be there someday," he said. "And I do promise that someday I will tell you about my endurance of that disaster," he said to her before he looked out over the ocean. With a simple thought, he smiled and stood up, starting to walk toward the tide.

"Swim?" he asked.

"We have the rest of our lives to share the stories from before we met. And together we'll create a new story. Our story." Him calling her Ella brought a bright smile to her face. She hadn't thought she would ever like being called by that name again, but hearing it from Shinji made it sound better than ever.

Standing beside him, she let his hoodie fall onto the blanket they'd been sitting on. "It's going to be cold, but if you're up for it, then so am I," she told him, reaching for his hand as she followed him toward the ocean.

"Everything is going to be okay now, I hope you know that," he told her as the two began dipping their toes into the water.

"We've got tomorrow to get a new start," he promised her, turning to wrap his arms around her and kiss her, proving to her he believed that everything would be just fine.



For the past several weeks, people have asked me why I have chosen EXODUS instead of Kingdom of Japan. They wish to know what forces pull me to San Diego instead of my native country.

I tell them that home is more than just a place on a passport or birth certificate.

When I come to EXODUS in 2013, there were many things I did not know. My English was no good. My guide into America was a man who was twisted and bitter, despite who he says he has become now. All I had was my best friend and the lessons I was learning from fans who wished to get to know me. Over time, those fans embraced me and I embraced them. I accepted my need to grow and learn and moved on to (R)Evolution Wrestling, where the fans appreciated me even more as I continued my path. All the while, I had to learn who I was, discover myself. It took me a while, but I have. Now that I have, I have grown into my own person, and it is something that I have needed to do for myself.

I shunned following my peers that formed REVOLUTION to become my own person. I chose to stand my ground and choose my own path, free from whatever people had laid out for me. I chose to define myself and I became a protector. A Sentinel. Now I stand over EXODUS and my friends and I protect them from harm. I am the one that will stand up when nobody will.

Zack Lifer is a man who also chose heroism. The problem with that is that when someone chooses something they do not understand, they can often find themselves incapable of performing the task to optimal ability. I did not understand things when I came to America and became the Messenger of God, a person that was not me at all. It took time to understand what I wanted and who I was becoming. When I did, I grew into a better person, someone who I wanted to be. I do not think you truly understood heroism for what it was when you chose it.

It isn't something to be chosen. You cannot force it. It is an altruistic act that one must unselfishly commit to doing.

When you wished to become a hero, you did so selfishly in the hopes that people would see you in a different light. That you would rob the spotlight from people who truly deserved it. Your actions were not to compliment the actions others took, but to be the only one declared a hero. You did not want to be part of the team because you do not want to share anything with anyone. You wished for the stars and the moon to be given to you, when all you deserved was to walk amongst the clouds with those who rescued EXODUS.

So you let the world drive you insane because it did not give you what you wished. You tried to force it, blame others for what fate brought upon you. You hurt innocent people and thought it would make you better in the end. You force the hand, and suddenly you become the villain. You rob yourself of the ending you desire.

But, from what I see, that is the Zack Lifer way. You continue to push and grate and not listen. You let everything cloud you and suddenly the thoughts become muddled and you lose sight of everything. It is like story of Don Quixote. The windmills you chase as monsters are so harmless, people see what you do as a futile attempt to impress no one but yourself.

You are fighting a losing battle, Zack Lifer. As you will learn on the next EXPRO On FX, the time for you is becoming dangerously short as people become more and more irritated with you.

But in reality, this is your game. The attention. You feed off the attention, whether it is good or bad. In English, there is a saying that all publicity is good publicity, but you have been mistaken. For someone who wants the love of the crowd, the adulation of a hero, you push farther and farther from it...so far, it is now out of sight.

What have you done with the attention? You cry for more. We do not give you enough. We do not want to approve of you enough. Not everyone can be pleased, and yet you demand we are all pleased. You scream like child with artwork and demand we place it up as a shrine to your greatness. What is that greatness though, Zack? Is it the fact that you have failed to have any memorable moment in EXODUS other than falling flat on your face? Is it the fact that you deliberately cost yourself a World Title opportunity? What about all these accomplishments that you hope to get here? Everything has been squandered, the goodwill from your acts undone over the fact that you would rather rub our noses in them like we are bad dogs that have defiled your land. If you must point out your deed, then is it really an accomplishment? Success is a gift that needs no introduction. You do not need to show the world what you've done, but you do so like we are blind. Nobody is blind to you and your ways, but that is why we see you in the light we do. Your distorted vision demands we proclaim you great, the clear picture shows you as a monstrosity.

However, for all your evil deeds and for all your wicked ways, I do not wish to fight you for a purely unselfish reason. No, I asked for this for a most selfish reason. I fight you, because your actions against Destiny were uncalled for. You bully her like you claim others bully you. You seek revenge against people who wronged you yet you are the guiltiest of us all. The hypocrisy that comes from your desperate cries only serve to annoy people.

And in the end, what does this mission do for you? You will not be given forgiveness, a second chance, or the World Title. Nobody will cheer for your mission of malice and hatred, but you wish us to find your lies as a just cause. When all that is left happens to be your excuses and failures, you will be forced to realize that you did this to yourself. There is no honor in your ways, and there will be no honor in defeat. You will be forced to face the reality you have long tried to deny.

And do not say that reality is something you embrace. You find something and twist it to be so untrue, it grates at people. The fact that you must warp the truth of others to find some sort of perversion that suits you is the proof we all need to realize how sorry you have become. You have lost everything, and the sympathy you once had has been evaporated by your black heart. Your wicked and vile ways are no longer something that can be hidden by innocent smiles and jokes of video games. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then you continue to forge a path straight to the wicked core of the world below.

Zack Lifer, I tell you no lie when I say I will defeat you. When I am through with you, people will still pity you for the man you've become. After all the delusions and the warped visions, you'll have a moment of clarity.

When it comes to being a hero, you have failed EXODUS.