Justin Brooks starring in "Sins of the Father I"

[September, 2009]
[Atlanta, Georgia]

It seemed like I was going at a 100 miles per hour but yet I wasn’t getting anywhere fast. Taking a red eye flight across the country, I landed in Atlanta only a few a hours ago making sure that I made contact with Jennika Howard…a woman who I haven’t seen in over 6 years.

And the mother of my only son.

There was a lot of unspoken history between the two of us, some things I tend to keep to myself in my own little world. But up until recently where I was contacted by a Family lawyer back in Atlanta, my entire life was turned upside down. Jennika and I spoke briefly on the phone, her seemingly wanting to speak with me in person and not surprised that I would make the trip all the way to the East Coast.

I looked down at my silver watch, reading the time on the large face at 11.05 in the morning. She wanted to meet at a small little bar and grill that she assured me would be opened for lunch. What else could I do but agree as my mind could only contemplate the hot coals she was able to rake me over. Sitting at a corner booth by self, I looked into the hall-empty glass of water as several ice cubes continued to gently swirl around the glass. The waitress had come over several times asking if I would like to order, which I declined politely each time. This wasn’t a time for me to lose my cool…I needed to be tactful…I needed to be diplomatic…

“Justin?”

I looked up from my thoughts as a soft smile spread across my lips as Jennika stood at the table with a gentle smile on her face as well. It’s been six years but she still looks stunning as ever with her long dark brown hair tied in a single ponytail that seemed to bounce behind her with every step she took as her olive skin seemed to just glow underneath the low light in the restaurant. She was just as I remembered her all those years ago as she slid into the seat across from me, seeming a bit nervous to see me after so long.

“How’ve you been, Jay?” she said softly, using her shortened nickname for me.

I smiled from the corner of the mouth and nodded my head gently, lying the best I could. “I’m good…been better, but I’m good.”

Looking a bit embarrassed, she looked away from me for a moment as she placed her hands on the table before responding. “Look, I know this must be coming at a horrible time and you must think I’m a horrible person…but I didn’t know what to do. Granted I was surprised that you were going to come out here, but yet I couldn’t help but think how upset you were going to be when you got out here. I contemplated not coming to meet you at all.”

“And I guess I would’ve seen you when you would’ve taken me to court?”

That was a low-blow, I’ll admit, but I was upset and rather pissed off and I know my smart-ass remark stung as she seemed to flinch at my verbal jab. “You know, you don’t have to be an asshole about this.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself, as I made an effort to keep my voice down.

“I don’t have to be an asshole? How do you expect for me to act, Jenn? Six years ago, you told me you disappeared without a trace. I called and called and I got nothing from you...I got absolutely nothing. I looked for you and when I realized that you didn’t want to be found, I moved on. Only to start getting phone calls from some prick lawyer, I’m getting threats about being a deadbeat dad about being taken to court. Last time I checked I still have parental rights and if you want to go to court over this we can…and I promise you that you’ll lose.”

Jennika sighs and shakes her hand slowly. “That’s not fair, Justin…we were kids…we were in college acting stupid and having fun when I got pregnant. We weren’t working….hell; I dropped out of med school at the time. You were seeing if this wrestling thing was going to pay the bills and you didn’t have a single clue about what you wanted to do with your life, let alone our unborn child at the time. I was scared…I was afraid…I didn’t know what to do, so my parents told me to come home to Georgia and I did. I should’ve told you. You could’ve come with me…you could’ve come to Atlanta and got a job out here but you wanted to stay out west and keep wrestling. And now look at you…you’re a big shot on the television screen…”

She sighed softly as she lowered her head, tears welling up in the corner of her eyes. “Justin...I’m sick. I’m really sick and the doctors can’t figure out what’s going on with me but the prognosis isn’t very good for me. My family doesn’t even know that I’m talking to you right now, but my son..our son...he deserves to know his father. So I told my Dad to get a lawyer to came to the house to talk to me about OUR son, they offered to get us the help we needed to get back on our feet, Justin. This isn’t about me and you…hell, this isn’t about money, this is about you taking some responsibility and actually being able to care for someone else outside of yourself for once. While you’ve been out seeing the world and doing God knows what Alistair and myself have been on our own trying to make it.”

My son’s name is Alistair. I didn’t even know my son’s name.

I swallowed hard as she continued to rail on me. Admittedly, I deserved it…I had it coming. I was young, I was stupid, I was selfish…and someone else had been paying the price.

“Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you contact me?”

“So what, I can tell you that your son is hungry…that your son is crying and I don’t know what to do to make him stop? I didn’t need you…we didn’t need you. So we did what we had to do to make it and we didn’t want to bother you. It seems that you’ve made such a life for yourself by yourself that we weren’t going to intrude on something that obliviously didn’t have anything to do with us. Hell, I bet you don’t even know what Ali looks like do you?”

I sighed gently and looked down at my hands for a moment as I reached behind me and pulled out my black leather wallet. Opening it slowly, I pulled out a small wallet-sized photograph of my newborn son in Jennika arms only seconds after he was born, which was frayed and worn at the edges. On the back was written in black ink.

[/i]

Jennika gasped slightly covering her mouth with a single hand as she took the picture and looked at it wistfully.

“How did you get this?”

“Even though your family hated my guts…your father, of all people, sent this to me. It was just an addressed envelope sent to my mother’s house all those years ago. It’s been with me every since…it’s been my cross to bear and unfortunately, it’s been my dirty little secret. I have a son that I’ve never met, never spoken too, and up until recently, I didn’t even know his name. I know I’ve been an asshole to you two. I can’t apologize enough for that and I know you don’t have to forgive me nor can I give back those six years back. I wish I could, but I can’t…and I guess through it all once I finally made something out of myself…at the end of the day, I was still just that scared, immature little boy posing to be a man. I never can understand what you and Alistair had to go through…”

I looked up into Jennika’s large brown eyes as a tear threatened to fall down her slender cheeks, still gripping the picture in her hand, her lip quivered as she reached up and quickly slapped me across the face that seemed to echo throughout the empty establishment.

I deserved it.

I just nodded my head slowly as I turned back to her. “Feel better?”

“No…no I don’t, but it’s a start.” she said with ragged breath.

“So the real question is….where do we go from here?” I asked softly, reaching out to grab her hand softly. Surprisingly, she didn’t pull away as I closed my much larger hand slowly around hers. “I don’t know, Justin…I don’t know…how long will you be in Atlanta for?”

“For as long as it takes to make sure that everything is taken care of. I’m not the man I was six years ago, despite what people seeing on the television screen.”

“You’re a real asshole on TV.” she said with a sob-choked chuckle.

“What can I say; as much as things change some things remain the same."