Post by Nicholas Gray on Dec 26, 2015 23:21:11 GMT -6
The Imperium.
A collective formed under a shared viewpoint. That EXODUS Pro was in constant, unending danger, and the only way to protect it was to be a swift and brutal proactive force to stomp out any dangers.
The best of intentions. The most logical path to take. The willpower to do what was needed.
The Imperium.
A complete, and utter, failure.
And one that was a failure from the moment it was created.
--
Nicholas Gray sat in silence and drank.
The former owner of EXODUS Pro, the former leader of the Imperium created to protect it, was once again awake late into the night. It was almost 3am, and he sat at his kitchen table, drinking gin, the drink of a sad sad man.
His best friend had just proposed to his longtime girlfriend and though it wouldn’t seem like it, Gray was so happy for them. Knowing them as long as he had, everything they’d been through, it filled him with happiness to see Wulf finally get down on his knee to ask her.
But it was what he’d seen them go through that left him drinking this late.
Yumie Gray: Celebrating, I see.
His head turns to look at the entrance to the kitchen where stands his wife, Yumie. A smile comes onto his face at the sight of her, before it fades off as she steps into the kitchen, immediately taking a seat next to him at the table, looking at him with that look of worry that always meant the same thing. Time to spill, Gray.
Yumie Gray: What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing. You’ve been in a mood since Wulf proposed.
He sighed, and thought about how to deflect it. But he was more than a little tipsy, and drink pried his tongue. And he so badly needed to get this off of his chest...
Nicholas Gray: I tried. I tried so hard. This was my one chance.
He sniffed, and threw back the glass of gin.
Nicholas Gray: My whole life I’ve disappointed. I disappointed family, friends, co-workers, everyone who has met me has thought at some point “why is he a thing, when others who should be aren’t?” and I don’t have an answer. Never had an answer. And the more I tried, the more people around me suffered. Wulf and Davy, they put themselves with me and look how that went. Single worst tag title reign THW ever had. And who’s that on?
Yumie Gray: You KNOW they don’t care about that.
Gray vehemently shook his head.
Nicholas Gray: Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t change that it’s what happened. I was a joke to people. And so I started to live it. I didn’t want people to get attached, to get too close to the person who would bring them down somehow. So I became wacky...hyperactive...zany...a joke. Well, more of one. I became what I saw myself as, and I lived that.
Yumie squeezed her husband’s hand. She was aware of all of this, it was plain to see the difference between him privately and in public that developed. She knew why he did it, even though he never vocalized it until now. And she let him say these things she already knew, because he was finally getting them off of his chest after so long.
Nicholas Gray: And I managed to get myself a fucking wrestling company. I just wanted to coast through this, until I found a way out, and by being this wacky zany caricature of a person I became owner of EXODUS. And it wasn’t a joke when I found out, that fainting was real. Suddenly I had the responsibility of a company, of having to keep things floating, to make sure a large group of people had regular work to put food on their table. And it was the most awful sensation. Weight of the world, and all that. And with all that on me I did the only thing I thought I could. Keep playing the character, and let others handle it all. Be as far away from the business side as I could be, just be an owner in name only. And for a while that worked, and I thought I could manage to live with that, with being a joke owner whose underlings had more power than him. But...
He looked at his wife, at her stomach sticking out from her body. He smiled despite himself, at something else he had kept secret from his friends.
Nicholas Gray: Becoming a father changed that.
Yumie smiled back at him. While she was not a fan of him not yet telling anyone, for reasons he hadn’t told her yet, the change that had come over him when she had told him the news had been incredible. After an initial faint, of course. He’d gained so much energy, so much drive and passion. She truly thought he had managed to break past his problems.
Nicholas Gray: So I realized I had to do something. I realized that if our kid grew up as things were, all they’d hear is what a failure their father was. What a joke, what a gag he was. How he dragged everyone around him down, at the L placed next to everything I ever did. I couldn’t do that to them, could I. I had to do something. And something I had already been thinking of, clicked. EXODUS was always under strife, always under attack, when one group died another appeared. It was what EXODUS was known most for. That a war was always being fought for it. And I saw it. What if I changed that? What if I managed to stop the wars, to bring EXODUS under control. To save it, to keep it protected, when no one else could. A triumph like that, a success like that, could erase all of my failures from memory. I would have something I could finally be proud of, and my child could have a father worth looking up to.
As he explained this, something clicked in Yumie’s mind.
Yumie Gray: ...that’s why you haven’t told Wulf yet.
Gray nods. When his wife had told him about her pregnancy, he didn’t tell anyone. Not his family, not his friends. And certainly not his best friend in the world, the man who had done so much for him over the years, Wulf Erikssen.
Nicholas Gray: Because it would hurt the cause. An easy block to tear at for our enemies, if they knew about that reason for creating the Imperium. And…
He pauses, frowning.
Nicholas Gray: I realized how easy it is to just keep things from Wulf..
Yumie sighs, knowing what he was saying. He hadn’t even told her about the secret weapon he’d gotten a hold of, the former Gods & Monster scalpel known as Kira T. Zeppeli. She hadn’t been exactly pleased with it, and knew Wulf had been far, far less so. Nicholas was lucky Wulf didn’t beat him into the hospital at that very moment.
Yumie Gray: I know keeping Kira a secret almost brought you to blows, but Wulf has been our friend for so long. I don’t see at all how the news of his best friend becoming a father would enrage him.
Instead of those words comforting him, or reassuring him, all they did was make his expression sadder, as he looked away from her, suddenly not wanting to look her in the eye as he spoke.
Nicholas Gray: ….I’m not talking about when I kept Kira from him.
Yumie’s eyes widened in shock. She tried, quickly, to think of what he could be talking about. And she realized that nothing she knew about could fit that, could make him this down and sullen. There was something else.
Yumie Gray: ..what have you kept from us?
Nicholas Gray: ...you’ll think I’m crazy.
Yumie Gray: Honey.
She squeezed his hand again.
Yumie Gray: You might be a lot of things, but crazy isn’t one of them. Just tell me, please. I don’t want this to eat you up keeping it locked up inside you anymore.
Gray sighed.
Nicholas Gray: Alright. Almost a year ago, Cyril started to realize something was off in (R)Evolution.
Yumie Gray: What? Something in the books, or…?
Nicholas Gray: In a wrestler. In matches, not all but some, he would get these sudden, awful headaches.
Yumie blinked, realizing who it was he was talking about. The man Jolyne had bashed in the head with a chair, the man who hurt Wulf and Stacey as he waged a campaign of revenge. Anderson Cobalt, Jason Anderson Protivnik.
Nicholas Gray: And after a while, Cyril realized something. The people he was in the ring with when those headaches happened, or when he was backstage, the people who he was with when they happened...things happened with them. He had a match with Lannister, got a migraine, and just a show later she had joined REVOLUTION. And so, he started to wonder if, maybe…
He pauses, not certain if he can bring himself to say the words. Another squeeze from his wife made him sigh, before speaking them.
Nicholas Gray: If maybe that Cobalt boy was a psychic.
Yumie didn’t say anything, just looking at him with wide eyes. He offered a weak smile.
Nicholas Gray: Sure I’m not crazy?
After a moment, Yumie shook her head.
Yumie Gray: Not yet. Continue.
Nicholas Gray: Well, he wasn’t sure yet if that was the case. He needed to tell someone, and he brought his initial findings to me, asking me if he could do tests on not just him but everyone else. Because by that point things...things were crazy in RW. And so Cyril wanted to peg down everything.
Yumie Gray: And what did you say?
Nicholas Gray: I told him of course, of course, he could do that. How could I not? These unknown things were a problem, we needed to know as much as we can. And as I was telling him he could do the tests, I was panicking inside.
Yumie Gray: Why?
For a moment there is silence, Gray just looking down again. She frowns, worried, but that worry vanishes in an instant at his next words.
Nicholas Gray: Because I knew about Anderson’s powers from day one.
Yumie Gray: ...what?
He looked up at her.
Nicholas Gray: I was working with his father since Cobalt came into the company.
He pours himself another glass as he continues.
Nicholas Gray: He just came into my office one day. Just got past anyone who’d stop him like it wasn’t anything. And he just started talking. About how bad everything in EXODUS was, how you couldn’t trust anyone because anyone could be planning to turn on you, how there needed to be some way of controlling it. I got up and got into his face, demanding he leave and, uh…
He quickly throws the glass back before saying the next part.
Nicholas Gray: His eyes flashed yellow and I got thrown into the wall.
Yumie just stared at him, not saying anything. Not really knowing WHAT to say, even. So Gray just kept on.
Nicholas Gray: After that he introduced himself, and explained that he wanted to help me and in return I’d help him. He told me his son would one day be able to do all of the things he could, but for now he was still growing. Right now, all he could really do was feel someone’s intentions. If someone was duplicitous or lying, he’d feel it physically. A human lie detector. And I could make full use of that, so long as I let the kid grow and train in RW for a spell first. I already had a few little thoughts about how something needed to change in EXODUS by then. Not as far as the Imperium, no. But the thought was there. And I saw how valuable a lie detector could be. So I agreed. We shook hands, me and the devil. The kid was signed to RW, and when the plans for the Imperium started to form, I was getting ready to offer him a place in it. And then...
He sighed.
Nicholas Gray: I almost had a heart attack in March, when an EXODUS show showed a video of a man with yellow eyes leading his spawn through a massacred (r)Evolution Dojo. I started to realize I might have made a mistake. And then Cyril started asking questions, and Strike, and Jon...all at once, the danger came. Cyril asked me to do the tests, and all I could do is say yes. So soon enough, Cyril would find out about the boy’s father. And at some point it would be revealed, my dealings with him. I’d be exposed, and everything I had been building would be dashed away in a moment. So I had to do something. And…
The next words are particularly hard for him to get out.
Nicholas Gray: And I realized how useful Jolyne could be.
Yumie Gray: ...what?
Gray looked away from her as he continued.
Nicholas Gray: She was still in the middle of training, and she was so certain of herself. Asked every day if it was time for her to debut, and every day disappointed when I said no. And I knew how antsy she was getting, how desperate she was to finally get our approval and get into the ring. And I saw an opportunity. I debated it, worried over it. Looked myself in the mirror and asked myself if I really wanted to do it. And I was desperate enough to, because by then the boy himself was clearly going to be a problem, losing his cool like he was. I knew Cyril would be sending me something eventually about the tests. I just had to wait. And when they came I felt lucky for the first time in a while, as Jo was already there. So all I had to do was read it, and as I read it let her peek it just a few times. And that was all it took. Not too long after, she took a chair to him, put him in the hospital, and I thought that was the end. Thought I got away with it. But I didn’t. Of course I didn’t. He came back. He bashed Jo with a chair. He bashed Stacey with a chair. He made Wulf turn basically into fucking GRENDEL to pulverize him. He hurt my student, and he hurt my friends. Because of me.
He finally stops talking, the silence letting Yumie absorb all of this. If Gray could manage to look at her right now, all he’d see is shock.
Yumie Gray: I just...it’s all so hard to believe, it’s…
Gray nodded.
Nicholas Gray: I know it is but the shitty thing is it’s all true. I sold my soul to the Devil, an actual real Devil, to gain some extra foothold in a plan to save a wrestling company. And then I tried to cover it. I made sure my protege, a woman I took under my wing, would do something stupid and hospitalize a man, and she suffered and my best friend suffered and that is because of me!
His fist clenches, another sniffle coming from him.
Nicholas Gray: And the worst part is I failed. I had failed from the first day I ran that company, because it was doomed to die because Jon Collins is a fucking monster. I tried and I tried and I sold my FUCKING soul, and I still failed!
A pause.
Nicholas Gray: ...same as fucking always.
For a long time, neither say anything. Yumie simply sits and processes all of this, while Gray continues to drink his sad drink. And, when Yumie finally speaks, it is quite concise.
Yumie Gray: You’re an idiot.
Nicholas Gray: ...this is true.
Yumie Gray: This, all of this…I can’t believe this. For so long you’ve been focused on yourself, and how others see you, and wanting to not be seen as a failure. I didn’t realize how badly that had gotten. What you’ve done is stupid, so so stupid, and you’re lucky things didn’t end up worse than they are. You’re lucky no one’s left you yet.
That one stings, and his expression shows it.
Yumie Gray: And now you have to do something, yes. You have to let all of that go. It’s damaged you for too long, and it could cost you so much if you keep letting it fester in you. If not for yourself, then…
She took his hand and placed it against her stomach.
Yumie Gray: Then for her. Show her that you don’t have to be controlled by past failures, show her that you should be looked up to because you were able to let all of that go and be better for it.
The words penetrate, but even as they do he stupidly tries to resist. After all, this was all he knew. Focusing on his failures, how others saw him, all of it. But, Hell, hadn’t he said he was going to let that all go back in 2010? Was he so bad he couldn’t even do getting over things right?
He sighed, and nodded.
Nicholas Gray: You’re right. I know. I think...I think I just need to get away from all of this.
She smiled.
Yumie Gray: I agree. I think getting away from everything for a while would be good for us.
A small pause, as she remembers something.
Yumie Gray: Except for going to Wulf and Stacey’s wedding, of course.
Gray doesn’t say anything to that, instead beginning to pour himself another glass of gin. And he starts to think about how to say goodbye.
--
It was a few days later when the Grays met Jolyne in front of what was once the (R)Evolution Dojo. Jolyne was sitting on the sidewalk as they came up, looking at the building, her head titled looking at what was just a small time ago where she worked, now empty.
Jolyne Dysart: Everything changes so fast…
Yumie nods, smiling at her.
Yumie Gray: That’s part of life. That just gives you a way to show how well you deal with change.
Jolyne’s head turns to look at Yumie and she grins, causing a small smile to appear on Gray’s face. He was always impressed how easily his wife spoke Jolyne’s language, ever since they had met the young woman. Jolyne stood up, taking time to dust herself off before facing them.
Jolyne Dysart: I am great at change. I’m even taking the Gray Maiden changes well.
Gray unconsciously rolled his eyes. When he left for Hawaii Wulf had left the Gray Maiden, the RV that had at various times been home for everything from a small stuffed bear to major champions, in the care of Davy Jones the pirate captain. At least his wife hadn’t caught sight of that eye roll, an elbow to the gut would’ve been unfortunate.
Yumie Gray: That’s great! How is Davy doing now that he has his own ship to pilot again?
Jolyne frowned.
Jolyne Dysart: The bear has his own room.
Gray groaned, one hand pressing to his face. Yumie just chuckled.
Yumie Gray: Well, that’s only fair. Captain Bear IS a Captain, after all!
Gray sighed.
Nicholas Gray: At least he probably hasn’t found the cannon again.
Jolyne Dysart: THERE’S A CANNON ON THE RV!?
Oh God what had he done.
Yumie Gray: Sorry, dear, not anymore.
Jolyne Dysart: Oh...well, that’s disappointing.
But as she always did, she rebounded immediately, snapping to attention.
Jolyne Dysart: So! Now what are we going to do?
The two Grays exchanged a look, and Nicholas realized it was all on him to do. He took a deep breath, letting it out before speaking.
Nicholas Gray: Yumie and I are...going away for a while.
And just like that, the energy she had in her seemed to vanished. Her shoulders drooped, and a look of shock came onto her face.
Jolyne Dysart: ...what?
Nicholas Gray: It’s...complicated.
Jolyne’s expression changes to one of anger, unsurprisingly.
Jolyne Dysart: I don’t give a shit if it’s complicated or not, what is going on!?
Gray sighed.
Nicholas Gray: With everything that’s happened recently, we’ve decided we need to have some time just to ourselves, away from this business and everything in it. For our benefit, and for yours too. With everything lately, you’ve...not had the best of times. You need to be away from all of this. For your sake.
Jolyne Dysart: ...And this has to do with what he said about someone manipulating me?
He sighed, knowing what she meant. The last thing Jason had said to her after their match, about her being manipulated...he wanted to be angry at him for telling her, but he needed to put it behind him.
Nicholas Gray: I made some bad choices, Jolyne. I made choices that put you in so, so much danger.
She immediately shakes her head repeatedly.
Jolyne Dysart: I don’t care! I’m sure you had a good reason for that!
A small, sad smile tugs at the edge of the lips of Gray, who just shakes his head.
Nicholas Gray: No. I wish I could say that, but it’s not true. I just didn’t.
It’s a look of sadness that comes onto her face now.
Jolyne Dysart: But...everyone else has already left…
That one hurt. He knew she hadn’t taken Wulf and Stacey leaving well, and had known adding himself and Yumie to that would make it worse. But it had to be done, it was the right thing to do.
Nicholas Gray: I know. But this is good for you, too, this is what you need. You need time away from your mentors. You try so, so hard to impress me, to impress Beowulf, to impress Stacey and Laurel. You want validation, and you want adulation. And that’s your problem.
He reaches out and places his hands on Jolyne’s shoulders, looking her in the eye.
Nicholas Gray: You’ve spent so much time focused on the attention and approval of others, you’ve let yourself suffer for it. You get it in your head that you have to do the most, you have to get the glory, you have to get that no matter what. So you make stupid decisions, you charge into things you shouldn’t, because you’re desperate.
Jolyne starts to shake her head.
Jolyne Dysart: I’m not desper-
Nicholas Gray: Jo.
This silences the usually unable to stop speaking woman.
Nicholas Gray: I thought I saw something in your eyes when we met, behind the drive I saw. And ever since, I’ve been wondering what I saw. And I finally realized it, not too long ago.
Again he looks her straight in the eye.
Nicholas Gray: It’s the exact same look I’ve seen in my eyes so, so many times. The last time I saw it, was when I was looking at myself in the mirror, wondering if the decision I made that put you in danger was the right one. And I made the wrong choice, because I decided it wasn’t but I had to do it anyway. And you suffered. Please, Jo. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Become better than me.
For a moment neither say anything, Jolyne looking back at Gray with an expression that is first shocked at what he is saying, before it shifts into something somber and understanding. She nods.
Jolyne Dysart: ...I’ll try.
Gray smiles at her.
Nicholas Gray: Thank you. That’s all I ask.
He extends his hand.
Nicholas Gray: You really will be something special some day, Jolyne. And I’ll be proud to have been at the ground floor of that.
She takes his hand, and they shake. She grins.
Jolyne Dysart: When they build a statue of me with a belt, I’ll be sure to have your name engraved somewhere with Wulf’s.
Gray let out a laugh, before taking a step back. Yumie took that moment to step forward, wrapping her arms around Jolyne in a hug that she returns.
Yumie Gray: You be good, okay? I’ll get you my number when we’re set up, so you can get in contact whenever you need.
Jolyne Dysart: Thank you.
She nods, and steps back. The two turn, and start to walk away. Jolyne blinks, suddenly thinking of something.
Jolyne Dysart: Hang on!
The two stop, heads turning to look at her.
Jolyne Dysart: I’ll at least see you at the Wulf and Stacey wedding, right?
The two look at one another. Yumie is expectant, but Gray’s expression fades to one that Jolyne can’t quite understand, and it makes Yumie frown.
Nicholas Gray: Sorry. Won’t be able to make it.
Jolyne Dysart: ...but...
Nicholas Gray: Have fun at it, Jo.
And he turns, and walks away. Yumie sighs, looking back at Jo with a look to try and reassure her. It only kind of works, before Yumie has to turn and walk after her husband, Jolyne able to see them exchanging words as they do, but she can’t hear them.
Jolyne stands alone, watching the mentors she had left walk away from her, and she sighs deeply. Even though she was confident, too much so, the recent leavings of Wulf and Stacey, and now Gray and Yumie, had hurt her. And now, truly, she was on her own for the first time in almost a year. Now, the only architect of her future was herself. Infinite choices to be made, infinite mistakes to be made. All on her.
How comforting.
A collective formed under a shared viewpoint. That EXODUS Pro was in constant, unending danger, and the only way to protect it was to be a swift and brutal proactive force to stomp out any dangers.
The best of intentions. The most logical path to take. The willpower to do what was needed.
The Imperium.
A complete, and utter, failure.
And one that was a failure from the moment it was created.
--
“Enforcing your laws, the pressure's rising
That's the reason you called me here
Abuse of justice turns into evil
You have started to change!”
That's the reason you called me here
Abuse of justice turns into evil
You have started to change!”
“Evil” - VAMPS
--Nicholas Gray sat in silence and drank.
The former owner of EXODUS Pro, the former leader of the Imperium created to protect it, was once again awake late into the night. It was almost 3am, and he sat at his kitchen table, drinking gin, the drink of a sad sad man.
His best friend had just proposed to his longtime girlfriend and though it wouldn’t seem like it, Gray was so happy for them. Knowing them as long as he had, everything they’d been through, it filled him with happiness to see Wulf finally get down on his knee to ask her.
But it was what he’d seen them go through that left him drinking this late.
Yumie Gray: Celebrating, I see.
His head turns to look at the entrance to the kitchen where stands his wife, Yumie. A smile comes onto his face at the sight of her, before it fades off as she steps into the kitchen, immediately taking a seat next to him at the table, looking at him with that look of worry that always meant the same thing. Time to spill, Gray.
Yumie Gray: What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing. You’ve been in a mood since Wulf proposed.
He sighed, and thought about how to deflect it. But he was more than a little tipsy, and drink pried his tongue. And he so badly needed to get this off of his chest...
Nicholas Gray: I tried. I tried so hard. This was my one chance.
He sniffed, and threw back the glass of gin.
Nicholas Gray: My whole life I’ve disappointed. I disappointed family, friends, co-workers, everyone who has met me has thought at some point “why is he a thing, when others who should be aren’t?” and I don’t have an answer. Never had an answer. And the more I tried, the more people around me suffered. Wulf and Davy, they put themselves with me and look how that went. Single worst tag title reign THW ever had. And who’s that on?
Yumie Gray: You KNOW they don’t care about that.
Gray vehemently shook his head.
Nicholas Gray: Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t change that it’s what happened. I was a joke to people. And so I started to live it. I didn’t want people to get attached, to get too close to the person who would bring them down somehow. So I became wacky...hyperactive...zany...a joke. Well, more of one. I became what I saw myself as, and I lived that.
Yumie squeezed her husband’s hand. She was aware of all of this, it was plain to see the difference between him privately and in public that developed. She knew why he did it, even though he never vocalized it until now. And she let him say these things she already knew, because he was finally getting them off of his chest after so long.
Nicholas Gray: And I managed to get myself a fucking wrestling company. I just wanted to coast through this, until I found a way out, and by being this wacky zany caricature of a person I became owner of EXODUS. And it wasn’t a joke when I found out, that fainting was real. Suddenly I had the responsibility of a company, of having to keep things floating, to make sure a large group of people had regular work to put food on their table. And it was the most awful sensation. Weight of the world, and all that. And with all that on me I did the only thing I thought I could. Keep playing the character, and let others handle it all. Be as far away from the business side as I could be, just be an owner in name only. And for a while that worked, and I thought I could manage to live with that, with being a joke owner whose underlings had more power than him. But...
He looked at his wife, at her stomach sticking out from her body. He smiled despite himself, at something else he had kept secret from his friends.
Nicholas Gray: Becoming a father changed that.
Yumie smiled back at him. While she was not a fan of him not yet telling anyone, for reasons he hadn’t told her yet, the change that had come over him when she had told him the news had been incredible. After an initial faint, of course. He’d gained so much energy, so much drive and passion. She truly thought he had managed to break past his problems.
Nicholas Gray: So I realized I had to do something. I realized that if our kid grew up as things were, all they’d hear is what a failure their father was. What a joke, what a gag he was. How he dragged everyone around him down, at the L placed next to everything I ever did. I couldn’t do that to them, could I. I had to do something. And something I had already been thinking of, clicked. EXODUS was always under strife, always under attack, when one group died another appeared. It was what EXODUS was known most for. That a war was always being fought for it. And I saw it. What if I changed that? What if I managed to stop the wars, to bring EXODUS under control. To save it, to keep it protected, when no one else could. A triumph like that, a success like that, could erase all of my failures from memory. I would have something I could finally be proud of, and my child could have a father worth looking up to.
As he explained this, something clicked in Yumie’s mind.
Yumie Gray: ...that’s why you haven’t told Wulf yet.
Gray nods. When his wife had told him about her pregnancy, he didn’t tell anyone. Not his family, not his friends. And certainly not his best friend in the world, the man who had done so much for him over the years, Wulf Erikssen.
Nicholas Gray: Because it would hurt the cause. An easy block to tear at for our enemies, if they knew about that reason for creating the Imperium. And…
He pauses, frowning.
Nicholas Gray: I realized how easy it is to just keep things from Wulf..
Yumie sighs, knowing what he was saying. He hadn’t even told her about the secret weapon he’d gotten a hold of, the former Gods & Monster scalpel known as Kira T. Zeppeli. She hadn’t been exactly pleased with it, and knew Wulf had been far, far less so. Nicholas was lucky Wulf didn’t beat him into the hospital at that very moment.
Yumie Gray: I know keeping Kira a secret almost brought you to blows, but Wulf has been our friend for so long. I don’t see at all how the news of his best friend becoming a father would enrage him.
Instead of those words comforting him, or reassuring him, all they did was make his expression sadder, as he looked away from her, suddenly not wanting to look her in the eye as he spoke.
Nicholas Gray: ….I’m not talking about when I kept Kira from him.
Yumie’s eyes widened in shock. She tried, quickly, to think of what he could be talking about. And she realized that nothing she knew about could fit that, could make him this down and sullen. There was something else.
Yumie Gray: ..what have you kept from us?
Nicholas Gray: ...you’ll think I’m crazy.
Yumie Gray: Honey.
She squeezed his hand again.
Yumie Gray: You might be a lot of things, but crazy isn’t one of them. Just tell me, please. I don’t want this to eat you up keeping it locked up inside you anymore.
Gray sighed.
Nicholas Gray: Alright. Almost a year ago, Cyril started to realize something was off in (R)Evolution.
Yumie Gray: What? Something in the books, or…?
Nicholas Gray: In a wrestler. In matches, not all but some, he would get these sudden, awful headaches.
Yumie blinked, realizing who it was he was talking about. The man Jolyne had bashed in the head with a chair, the man who hurt Wulf and Stacey as he waged a campaign of revenge. Anderson Cobalt, Jason Anderson Protivnik.
Nicholas Gray: And after a while, Cyril realized something. The people he was in the ring with when those headaches happened, or when he was backstage, the people who he was with when they happened...things happened with them. He had a match with Lannister, got a migraine, and just a show later she had joined REVOLUTION. And so, he started to wonder if, maybe…
He pauses, not certain if he can bring himself to say the words. Another squeeze from his wife made him sigh, before speaking them.
Nicholas Gray: If maybe that Cobalt boy was a psychic.
Yumie didn’t say anything, just looking at him with wide eyes. He offered a weak smile.
Nicholas Gray: Sure I’m not crazy?
After a moment, Yumie shook her head.
Yumie Gray: Not yet. Continue.
Nicholas Gray: Well, he wasn’t sure yet if that was the case. He needed to tell someone, and he brought his initial findings to me, asking me if he could do tests on not just him but everyone else. Because by that point things...things were crazy in RW. And so Cyril wanted to peg down everything.
Yumie Gray: And what did you say?
Nicholas Gray: I told him of course, of course, he could do that. How could I not? These unknown things were a problem, we needed to know as much as we can. And as I was telling him he could do the tests, I was panicking inside.
Yumie Gray: Why?
For a moment there is silence, Gray just looking down again. She frowns, worried, but that worry vanishes in an instant at his next words.
Nicholas Gray: Because I knew about Anderson’s powers from day one.
Yumie Gray: ...what?
He looked up at her.
Nicholas Gray: I was working with his father since Cobalt came into the company.
He pours himself another glass as he continues.
Nicholas Gray: He just came into my office one day. Just got past anyone who’d stop him like it wasn’t anything. And he just started talking. About how bad everything in EXODUS was, how you couldn’t trust anyone because anyone could be planning to turn on you, how there needed to be some way of controlling it. I got up and got into his face, demanding he leave and, uh…
He quickly throws the glass back before saying the next part.
Nicholas Gray: His eyes flashed yellow and I got thrown into the wall.
Yumie just stared at him, not saying anything. Not really knowing WHAT to say, even. So Gray just kept on.
Nicholas Gray: After that he introduced himself, and explained that he wanted to help me and in return I’d help him. He told me his son would one day be able to do all of the things he could, but for now he was still growing. Right now, all he could really do was feel someone’s intentions. If someone was duplicitous or lying, he’d feel it physically. A human lie detector. And I could make full use of that, so long as I let the kid grow and train in RW for a spell first. I already had a few little thoughts about how something needed to change in EXODUS by then. Not as far as the Imperium, no. But the thought was there. And I saw how valuable a lie detector could be. So I agreed. We shook hands, me and the devil. The kid was signed to RW, and when the plans for the Imperium started to form, I was getting ready to offer him a place in it. And then...
He sighed.
Nicholas Gray: I almost had a heart attack in March, when an EXODUS show showed a video of a man with yellow eyes leading his spawn through a massacred (r)Evolution Dojo. I started to realize I might have made a mistake. And then Cyril started asking questions, and Strike, and Jon...all at once, the danger came. Cyril asked me to do the tests, and all I could do is say yes. So soon enough, Cyril would find out about the boy’s father. And at some point it would be revealed, my dealings with him. I’d be exposed, and everything I had been building would be dashed away in a moment. So I had to do something. And…
The next words are particularly hard for him to get out.
Nicholas Gray: And I realized how useful Jolyne could be.
Yumie Gray: ...what?
Gray looked away from her as he continued.
Nicholas Gray: She was still in the middle of training, and she was so certain of herself. Asked every day if it was time for her to debut, and every day disappointed when I said no. And I knew how antsy she was getting, how desperate she was to finally get our approval and get into the ring. And I saw an opportunity. I debated it, worried over it. Looked myself in the mirror and asked myself if I really wanted to do it. And I was desperate enough to, because by then the boy himself was clearly going to be a problem, losing his cool like he was. I knew Cyril would be sending me something eventually about the tests. I just had to wait. And when they came I felt lucky for the first time in a while, as Jo was already there. So all I had to do was read it, and as I read it let her peek it just a few times. And that was all it took. Not too long after, she took a chair to him, put him in the hospital, and I thought that was the end. Thought I got away with it. But I didn’t. Of course I didn’t. He came back. He bashed Jo with a chair. He bashed Stacey with a chair. He made Wulf turn basically into fucking GRENDEL to pulverize him. He hurt my student, and he hurt my friends. Because of me.
He finally stops talking, the silence letting Yumie absorb all of this. If Gray could manage to look at her right now, all he’d see is shock.
Yumie Gray: I just...it’s all so hard to believe, it’s…
Gray nodded.
Nicholas Gray: I know it is but the shitty thing is it’s all true. I sold my soul to the Devil, an actual real Devil, to gain some extra foothold in a plan to save a wrestling company. And then I tried to cover it. I made sure my protege, a woman I took under my wing, would do something stupid and hospitalize a man, and she suffered and my best friend suffered and that is because of me!
His fist clenches, another sniffle coming from him.
Nicholas Gray: And the worst part is I failed. I had failed from the first day I ran that company, because it was doomed to die because Jon Collins is a fucking monster. I tried and I tried and I sold my FUCKING soul, and I still failed!
A pause.
Nicholas Gray: ...same as fucking always.
For a long time, neither say anything. Yumie simply sits and processes all of this, while Gray continues to drink his sad drink. And, when Yumie finally speaks, it is quite concise.
Yumie Gray: You’re an idiot.
Nicholas Gray: ...this is true.
Yumie Gray: This, all of this…I can’t believe this. For so long you’ve been focused on yourself, and how others see you, and wanting to not be seen as a failure. I didn’t realize how badly that had gotten. What you’ve done is stupid, so so stupid, and you’re lucky things didn’t end up worse than they are. You’re lucky no one’s left you yet.
That one stings, and his expression shows it.
Yumie Gray: And now you have to do something, yes. You have to let all of that go. It’s damaged you for too long, and it could cost you so much if you keep letting it fester in you. If not for yourself, then…
She took his hand and placed it against her stomach.
Yumie Gray: Then for her. Show her that you don’t have to be controlled by past failures, show her that you should be looked up to because you were able to let all of that go and be better for it.
The words penetrate, but even as they do he stupidly tries to resist. After all, this was all he knew. Focusing on his failures, how others saw him, all of it. But, Hell, hadn’t he said he was going to let that all go back in 2010? Was he so bad he couldn’t even do getting over things right?
He sighed, and nodded.
Nicholas Gray: You’re right. I know. I think...I think I just need to get away from all of this.
She smiled.
Yumie Gray: I agree. I think getting away from everything for a while would be good for us.
A small pause, as she remembers something.
Yumie Gray: Except for going to Wulf and Stacey’s wedding, of course.
Gray doesn’t say anything to that, instead beginning to pour himself another glass of gin. And he starts to think about how to say goodbye.
--
It was a few days later when the Grays met Jolyne in front of what was once the (R)Evolution Dojo. Jolyne was sitting on the sidewalk as they came up, looking at the building, her head titled looking at what was just a small time ago where she worked, now empty.
Jolyne Dysart: Everything changes so fast…
Yumie nods, smiling at her.
Yumie Gray: That’s part of life. That just gives you a way to show how well you deal with change.
Jolyne’s head turns to look at Yumie and she grins, causing a small smile to appear on Gray’s face. He was always impressed how easily his wife spoke Jolyne’s language, ever since they had met the young woman. Jolyne stood up, taking time to dust herself off before facing them.
Jolyne Dysart: I am great at change. I’m even taking the Gray Maiden changes well.
Gray unconsciously rolled his eyes. When he left for Hawaii Wulf had left the Gray Maiden, the RV that had at various times been home for everything from a small stuffed bear to major champions, in the care of Davy Jones the pirate captain. At least his wife hadn’t caught sight of that eye roll, an elbow to the gut would’ve been unfortunate.
Yumie Gray: That’s great! How is Davy doing now that he has his own ship to pilot again?
Jolyne frowned.
Jolyne Dysart: The bear has his own room.
Gray groaned, one hand pressing to his face. Yumie just chuckled.
Yumie Gray: Well, that’s only fair. Captain Bear IS a Captain, after all!
Gray sighed.
Nicholas Gray: At least he probably hasn’t found the cannon again.
Jolyne Dysart: THERE’S A CANNON ON THE RV!?
Oh God what had he done.
Yumie Gray: Sorry, dear, not anymore.
Jolyne Dysart: Oh...well, that’s disappointing.
But as she always did, she rebounded immediately, snapping to attention.
Jolyne Dysart: So! Now what are we going to do?
The two Grays exchanged a look, and Nicholas realized it was all on him to do. He took a deep breath, letting it out before speaking.
Nicholas Gray: Yumie and I are...going away for a while.
And just like that, the energy she had in her seemed to vanished. Her shoulders drooped, and a look of shock came onto her face.
Jolyne Dysart: ...what?
Nicholas Gray: It’s...complicated.
Jolyne’s expression changes to one of anger, unsurprisingly.
Jolyne Dysart: I don’t give a shit if it’s complicated or not, what is going on!?
Gray sighed.
Nicholas Gray: With everything that’s happened recently, we’ve decided we need to have some time just to ourselves, away from this business and everything in it. For our benefit, and for yours too. With everything lately, you’ve...not had the best of times. You need to be away from all of this. For your sake.
Jolyne Dysart: ...And this has to do with what he said about someone manipulating me?
He sighed, knowing what she meant. The last thing Jason had said to her after their match, about her being manipulated...he wanted to be angry at him for telling her, but he needed to put it behind him.
Nicholas Gray: I made some bad choices, Jolyne. I made choices that put you in so, so much danger.
She immediately shakes her head repeatedly.
Jolyne Dysart: I don’t care! I’m sure you had a good reason for that!
A small, sad smile tugs at the edge of the lips of Gray, who just shakes his head.
Nicholas Gray: No. I wish I could say that, but it’s not true. I just didn’t.
It’s a look of sadness that comes onto her face now.
Jolyne Dysart: But...everyone else has already left…
That one hurt. He knew she hadn’t taken Wulf and Stacey leaving well, and had known adding himself and Yumie to that would make it worse. But it had to be done, it was the right thing to do.
Nicholas Gray: I know. But this is good for you, too, this is what you need. You need time away from your mentors. You try so, so hard to impress me, to impress Beowulf, to impress Stacey and Laurel. You want validation, and you want adulation. And that’s your problem.
He reaches out and places his hands on Jolyne’s shoulders, looking her in the eye.
Nicholas Gray: You’ve spent so much time focused on the attention and approval of others, you’ve let yourself suffer for it. You get it in your head that you have to do the most, you have to get the glory, you have to get that no matter what. So you make stupid decisions, you charge into things you shouldn’t, because you’re desperate.
Jolyne starts to shake her head.
Jolyne Dysart: I’m not desper-
Nicholas Gray: Jo.
This silences the usually unable to stop speaking woman.
Nicholas Gray: I thought I saw something in your eyes when we met, behind the drive I saw. And ever since, I’ve been wondering what I saw. And I finally realized it, not too long ago.
Again he looks her straight in the eye.
Nicholas Gray: It’s the exact same look I’ve seen in my eyes so, so many times. The last time I saw it, was when I was looking at myself in the mirror, wondering if the decision I made that put you in danger was the right one. And I made the wrong choice, because I decided it wasn’t but I had to do it anyway. And you suffered. Please, Jo. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Become better than me.
For a moment neither say anything, Jolyne looking back at Gray with an expression that is first shocked at what he is saying, before it shifts into something somber and understanding. She nods.
Jolyne Dysart: ...I’ll try.
Gray smiles at her.
Nicholas Gray: Thank you. That’s all I ask.
He extends his hand.
Nicholas Gray: You really will be something special some day, Jolyne. And I’ll be proud to have been at the ground floor of that.
She takes his hand, and they shake. She grins.
Jolyne Dysart: When they build a statue of me with a belt, I’ll be sure to have your name engraved somewhere with Wulf’s.
Gray let out a laugh, before taking a step back. Yumie took that moment to step forward, wrapping her arms around Jolyne in a hug that she returns.
Yumie Gray: You be good, okay? I’ll get you my number when we’re set up, so you can get in contact whenever you need.
Jolyne Dysart: Thank you.
She nods, and steps back. The two turn, and start to walk away. Jolyne blinks, suddenly thinking of something.
Jolyne Dysart: Hang on!
The two stop, heads turning to look at her.
Jolyne Dysart: I’ll at least see you at the Wulf and Stacey wedding, right?
The two look at one another. Yumie is expectant, but Gray’s expression fades to one that Jolyne can’t quite understand, and it makes Yumie frown.
Nicholas Gray: Sorry. Won’t be able to make it.
Jolyne Dysart: ...but...
Nicholas Gray: Have fun at it, Jo.
And he turns, and walks away. Yumie sighs, looking back at Jo with a look to try and reassure her. It only kind of works, before Yumie has to turn and walk after her husband, Jolyne able to see them exchanging words as they do, but she can’t hear them.
Jolyne stands alone, watching the mentors she had left walk away from her, and she sighs deeply. Even though she was confident, too much so, the recent leavings of Wulf and Stacey, and now Gray and Yumie, had hurt her. And now, truly, she was on her own for the first time in almost a year. Now, the only architect of her future was herself. Infinite choices to be made, infinite mistakes to be made. All on her.
How comforting.
