S.A.V SPECIAL ACTION VIGILANCE PRESENTS A ONE NIGHT ONLY TOURNAMENT:
JUNIOR WRESTLER PROVING GROUNDSTonight, some of the greatest junior wrestlers of the past and present have been gathered here tonight to see who will come out on top as the greatest junior among them. The show was to kickoff with Jushin Liger, who helped organize the event, introducing the participants of the tournament, only to be interrupted by Dean Ambrose. Ambrose got on the microphone and said that he thought it only fair that, since the tournament is a gathering of the greatest, he be let in to compete. Liger replied that it's a juniors tournament, and Ambrose looked a little big for it. Ambrose responded that, since the tournament is being held in America and that, in America, in the most important promotion in the world, juniors were called cruiserweights, and their weight limit was 225. And isn't everyone watching lucky that he weighs in at just that? Liger shrugs and allows him entry, telling him that loopholes end badly for most, and Ambrose tells him he can't wait to be the one left standing at the end.
OPENING MATCH: CANCELLED
We're sorry to report that our special opening match, pitting Atsushi Onita against Jose Gonzalez, will not be taking place. Stemming from a mid-90s incident where Onita attempted to recreate the Bruiser Brody murder for a storyline that never took off, and amidst rumors it was done to get Gonzalez out of Puerto Rico where Onita could have him killed, this was to show that there's truly no bad blood between the two, but due to..."unfortunate accidents" Gonzalez will not be appearing at this or any other event again. Our condolences to his family.
Before our opening match could begin, the mother of participant "Wrestling's Biggest #SorryPaige" Teddy Hart came out, demanding to know why Uhaa Nation, who is a scarily large and muscular black man, was allowed to participate in this juniors tournament. Uhaa, amused, proceeded to respond simply by doing a shooting star press onto the mat. While standing. Hart's mother immediately retreated to pray to God her son would suffer no further brain damage.
FIRST ROUND MATCH, TOURNAMENT GRAND BEGINNING:
"Wrestling's Biggest #SorryPaige" Teddy Hart vs. UHAA NATION
Uhaa Nation. International powerhouse whose response to every freakish feat of strength and agility he performs is that it was just "too easy." "Wrestling's Biggest #SorryPaige" Teddy Hart. Amazingly talented high-flyer held back by him having the personality of a 12 year old and the maturity of a 6 year old. Too easy, indeed.
WINNER: Uhaa Nation defeats "Wrestling's Biggest #SorryPaige" Teddy Hart
(4:27) via Uhaa Combination
FIRST ROUND MATCH:
SUPER CRAZY vs. DEAN AMBROSE
Super Crazy, a consistent fan favorite across Mexico and the United States, goes up against Dean Ambrose, a man known as much for his unstable personality and mindgames as he is his wrestling ability. Ambrose has plenty of height and weight on him due to his not being a Junior but a Cruiserweight, but Crazy has plenty of experience under his belt, will it be enough to overcome?
WINNER: Dean Ambrose defeats Super Crazy
(7:42) via Moxicity
FIRST ROUND MATCH:
ALEX KOSLOV vs. KOTA IBUSHI
Koslov, the Russian Hooligan, has taken Japan by storm in recent years, forming the immensely successful Forever Hooligans tag team with Rocky Romero. A multiple time IWGP Jr. Tag champion at this point, Koslov comes in riding a wave of momentum from New Japan. Ibushi, meanwhile, has been one of Japan's premier Junior stars for years, dazzling crowds with his ability to move in the air unlike almost any else. It's Russia vs. Japan, let's see who comes out on top.
WINNER: Kota Ibushi defeats Alex Koslov
(8:21) via Golden Star Bomb
For his entrance for his first round match, Taichi came out with a gaggle of female dancers, parodying opponent BxB Hulk's former tendency to dance. Midway through his rather provocative dance, Taichi was interrupted by the original BxB Story theme, and a silver-suited good Hulk coming out! His dancers abandoned him to join Hulk, who performed the BxB Dance for the first time in years to the enjoyment of the crowd.
FIRST ROUND MATCH:
TAICHI vs. BxB HULK Taichi is one of New Japan's brightest Junior prospects in some time, able to connect with the fans well with his charisma and in-ring skills (namely in making them want to see his head get kicked in) BxB Hulk, meanwhile, is one of the strongest students to come from the Dragon Gate Dojo, a fan-favorite (and recently unfavorite, due to his membership in the BLOOD WARRIORS and MAD BLANKEY) combining high-flying with a high amount of kicks, meaning the chance of heads getting kicked in is very high.
WINNER: BxB Hulk defeats Taichi (9:28) via First Flash after a salt attack to the eyes of Taichi from Mondai Ryu, who was disguised as one of the dancer girls.
FIRST ROUND MATCH:
JUSHIN LIGER vs. ULTRAMANTIS BLACK Liger needs no introduction. One of the greatest wrestlers of all-time, winning awards not only for his high-flying ability but for his technical skills as well, Liger is a complete package and the standard to which all Juniors are held. Ultramantis Black, meanwhile, is a mystical man who can control minds and dominate in the ring. But is even magic enough to take down Liger?
WINNER: Jushin Liger defeats Ultramantis Black (7:52) via Liger Bomb
FIRST ROUND MATCH:
SAMURAY DEL SOL vs. THE GREAT SASUKE
Del Sol is one of the best high-flyers to come onto the scene in years. Amazingly talented even at his young age, del Sol can lay claim to being one of the best in the world at flight. His opponent, however, can lay claim to being one of the best of all time. The Great Sasuke is recognized as one of the best, having held many titles across the world and creating Michinoku Pro, the promotion that would one day heavily influence CHIKARA. It's experience against youth again, folks.
WINNER: Samuray del Sol defeats The Great Sasuke
(11:42) via Del Sol Driver
FIRST ROUND MATCH:
PAC vs. KOJI KANEMOTOPAC might be young, but even now he can be considered one of the greatest high-flyers ever, with his ability so high that he seems to defy gravity at a moment's notice. Kanemoto, meanwhile, is one of the greatest Juniors of all time, combining high-flying moves with stiff strikes and hard technical wrestling. PAC can soar through the skies, but Kanemoto has enough hard kicks to take any man down.
WINNER: PAC defeats Koji Kanemoto (13:17) via 630 Senton
Jun Kasai comes out for his round one match, only for the ring announcer to enter and begin to inform him that the man he was scheduled to face was unable to make the flight, and thus would he would be moving on automatically. Or he would have said all that, if he wasn't interrupted by "Wild Thing", the theme song of Atsushi Onita. Onita entered the ring and addressed Kasai, telling him that while he was known entirely for his hardcore work, there was a time he was a Junior too, even winning a Junior belt in two separate countries. As such, he felt it fine to enter himself in as the replacement for Kasai's opponent. Kasai responded happily, telling him he'd be honored to face him, but since Onita, like Kasai, WAS known entirely for his hardcore work and indeed, with Onita's influence on wrestling, there might be not a Jun Kasai in hardcore wrestling, it was only fitting that Kasai and Onita would meet in a deathmatch, the kind that Kasai himself came up with, the Razor Deathmatch. Onita was too happy to agree, and the deadly boards begun to be brought out.
FIRST ROUND MATCH, RAZOR BLADE CROSS HELL!:
JUN KASAI vs. ATSUSHI ONITA
No one is entirely certain that it's legal to have this match in this country. A razor deathmatch is a match where many wooden planks nailed together as crosses are brought in. The planks are covered in razor blades. People are going to be thrown onto these planks, many times. So of course the only man insane enough to come up with this match, and indeed the only one insane enough to do it more than once, would be the Crazy Monkey, Jun Kasai. Recognized as one of the foremost garbage wrestlers in the world, which is something to be proud of if you're into the sort of thing. And one of the only men crazy enough to agree to take part in it is Atsushi Onita, whose FMW promotion is the one that popularized hardcore wrestling, leading to promotions like ECW (nice) and CZW (boo) If you have children with you in the crowd, go ahead and schedule their future therapy, they're gonna have PTSD after this.
WINNER: Atsushi Onita defeats Jun Kasai (9:37) via Thunder Fire Bomb onto the Razor Blade Cross
After the match, while Onita was celebrating, he was attacked from behind by Dean Ambrose, who he had just moved on to facing in the tournament! After a brief beatdown, Ambrose gave Onita a Headlock Driver onto the Razor Cross, driving his head directly onto it. After this brutal attack, an intermission is called so that Onita can be stretchered out and the ring can be cleaned as best it can be of all the blood.
QUARTER-FINAL MATCH:
PAC vs. UHAA NATION
PAC is generally regarded as the greatest Gaijin to ever fly around in Dragon Gate. After the amount of destruction he's caused and people he's dominated however, Uhaa Nation has a valid argument for himself to take that spot. Now, tonight, he can make his case for the world to see, but PAC is more than capable of taking anyone down, even a man the size of Uhaa.
WINNER: Uhaa Nation defeats PAC (12:36) via Uhaa Combination
QUARTER-FINAL MATCH:
JUSHIN LIGER vs. BxB HULK
No kind of big feud or bad blood (besides the bad blood MAD BLANKEY has with anyone not in their stable), just two men who want to advance in the tournament.
WINNER: Jushin Liger defeats BxB Hulk
(13:53) via Shooting Star Press
After the match came a dreadful sense of deja vu, as the celebrating Liger was attacked from behind by Dean Ambrose! Ambrose gave him a Headlock Driver, and took the unconscious Liger's mask as a trophy before leaving back through the crowd, the damage done.
QUARTER-FINAL MATCH:
KOTA IBUSHI vs. SAMURAY DEL SOL
An international independent showcase, as one of Japan's top indy stars takes on one of America AND Mexico's top indy stars. Bring binoculars, these two might end up going into the stratosphere before it's over.
WINNER: Kota Ibushi defeats Samuray del Sol (12:17) via Phoenix-Plex
An intermission is called to let people get ready for the semi-finals and finals.
SEMI-FINAL MATCH:
UHAA NATION vs. KOTA IBUSHI Tiny Asian man against large, muscular black man. Sounds either like a massacre or the leading gay porno. But looks can be deceiving.
WINNER: Kota Ibushi defeats Uhaa Nation (14:24) via the Phoenix Splash after a salt attack to Uhaa from Dean Ambrose
After the match and enraged at the injustice done against him, Uhaa went crazy, ripping apart the guardrails and throwing chairs and fans around. During the chaos "Wrestling's Biggest #SorryPaige" Teddy Hart, recovering from injury at ringside, was sadly put through a table by the raging Uhaa. It took the entirety of security to drag him off.
Once Uhaa had been removed from the ring, Ambrose re-entered the ring with a microphone. He began to gloat that, since last they had seen Liger he'd been rendered unconscious, and due to some luckily-placed salt taking the scary black man out, it seemed all that stood between Ambrose and a tournament win was a skinny Asian. He continued to gloat over how easy it would be, only for a distorted version of "Ikari no Jushin" to begin to play over the speakers. And from behind Ambrose was attacked by a bloodied, facepainted Liger, Kishin Liger!
SEMI-FINAL MATCH, NO DISQUALIFICATION: KISHIN LIGER vs. DEAN AMBROSE Ambrose has tried to take every easy way out he could. He got into this tournament via a loophole, he skipped the quarter-finals by assaulting Onita, and tried to skip straight to the finals by taking out Liger, but it's backfired on him. Jushin Liger has a dark side, a facepainted, violent demon that lives inside of him, awakened by rage to gain vengeance on those who wronged him, and Ambrose has awoken it. Kishin Liger is here.
WINNER: Kishin Liger defeats Dean Ambrose (12:46) via Liger Bomb onto the steel ring steps.
After the match Liger, putting on a spare mask to regain his sanity, berated Ambrose for his antics throughout the night. And in the end all they got him was a Liger Bomb. But he shouldn't be too sad, because he can still go for the bronze, as a third place winner has to be decided, and his opponent just can't wait to see him after earlier. Out comes the still-enraged Uhaa Nation.
BATTLE FOR THIRD PLACE:
UHAA NATION vs. DEAN AMBROSE Uhaa Nation, normally, is a destructive force, leaving broken bodies and crushed dreams in his wake. But he does it casually, doing push-ups in the middle of the match and coming out to a catchy old pop song. After all, it's too easy for him. But a focused Uhaa? An enraged Uhaa, whose goal is the complete and utter destruction of a man? That's just fucking scary.
WINNER: Uhaa Nation defeats Dean Ambrose (3:46) via 2 Uhaa Combinations
THE FINAL MATCH, THE GREATEST OF THEIR GENERATIONS FACE OFF:
JUSHIN LIGER vs. KOTA IBUSHI This is it, folks. The finals. And it's fitting we end with these two. Jushin Liger, the greatest junior of his generation. Kota Ibushi, the greatest junior of this generation. Now, they can answer the question many have asked. Who, if they faced in their prime, would come out on top?